7 Ways Introverted Men Can Crush It In Dating

7 Myths About Women And Dating

By the worlds #1 dating coach for Introverted Men - Nick Neeson.

What’s the number-one secret to building a better social life?

The answer might sound like a no-brainer to you…

You have to put yourself in situations where you meet more people.

But if it’s that simple, why do I keep getting so many emails from introverted men asking me how to become more sociable?

The answer is…they don’t have an introvert-friendly step-by-step plan to do it.

A plan that doesn’t drain their energy levels. A plan that builds a social life that serves as a funnel for attracting the exact kind of women they like.

Is your social circle a funnel for attracting the exact kind of women you like?

At the very best, they join some group activities, but results in terms of women and dating are usually poor.

With that in mind, here they come…my three road-tested, results-guaranteed steps to build a kick-ass social life filled with deep connections, women, dates and tons of fun.

By the way, did I tell you that it only takes 63 days to get there?

It only takes 63 days to build a kick-ass social circle.

So if you start today, you’ll still be able to have an EPIC summer.

The kick-ass social life method has three phases.

Each phase is 21 days long.

There’s a reason why they’re 21 days long.

Habits are built in 21 days. If you do something for 21 days, it becomes a habit.

So, we are going to install three habits. One by one. Nothing overwhelming. No draining your energy levels. Just a great, introvert-friendly social life as a result!

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Phase 1: Train Your Brain To Be More Social

Train your brain to be more social.

The first thing you need to do to build a better social life is become more social.

And no, that doesn’t mean you need to become a superficial extrovert that makes small talk with everybody all day long.

But it does mean you need to train your brain to be in a social mood.

Being social and friendly to people doesn’t mean being superficial.

So here’s what I want you to do.

For the next 21 days, just greet five people a day. That’s all.

Just say hello, good morning, or good evening, to five people each day.

Just greet 5 people a day and you'll feel more social.

You don’t even need to have conversation, just a greeting is enough.

But you need to greet each person in a certain way. You need to greet with the intention of sending out positive energy. No agenda. Just genuine friendliness.

When you greet people, they usually greet you back.

As small as it seems, it’s a social interaction. It’s a positive, friendly energy exchange between people.

By doing that you will feel more social.

You’ll also find that some people will even start talking to you after you say hello.

When that happens, just have a short, genuinely friendly conversation with them. It’s not superficial. It’s a genuine social conversation without any agenda.

Have genuine conversations without a hidden agenda.

You can also start conversations yourself. But here’s the thing—don’t greet people and then start conversations with everybody like those obnoxious guys do.

Here’s how to do it: When you greet a person, just look at how receptive they are.

Do they greet you back with an energy that’s inviting? Then yes, have a short conversation.

If they greet you back because they just don’t want to break social norms, but are in fact not really open for a conversation, then don’t.

It’s that simple.

Doing this will train your social muscle and prime you for Phase Two.

Phase 2: Engineer Your Lifestyle

Engineer your lifestyle

Phase two is all about engineering your ideal lifestyle. It’s about making it INEVITABLE to meet women that are exactly your type.

The way you do it is simple.

First of all, you keep doing the habits you built in Phase One. By now, this has become second nature.

The new focus of Phase Two is to join groups—groups where you can meet beautiful women.

You have many options. Here are just a few to give you some ideas.

• Cooking classes

• Partner dancing

• Yoga classes

• Art classes

• Gyms with group activities

• Mountain climbing

• Kayaking

The real trick to make this work is not to just pick some random groups.

Join group activities to kickstart your social life

You need to pick groups that are pre-populated with women of exactly YOUR taste.

Here’s how you do it.

Step 1:Think of your ideal type of woman and list the kinds of groups she would join.

Step 2:List the kinds of groups that you would like to join.

Step 3:Cross map the groups that you would like to join with the groups your ideal woman would be at.

Congratulations! You now have a list of groups that you can join that not only are interesting to you, but also have the exact kind of women that you like.

That’s a really strong base for building a truly fun social life. It’s fun because you like the activity, and even MORE fun because you’ll meet plenty of women that match your taste while doing that activity!

Now, of course, just joining those groups and being a wallflower without interacting with people won’t do you much good.

That’s why you trained your brain to be social in Phase One. Because you’ve trained your brain, you’ll find it much easier to be social with the people inside the group or groups you joined.

Again, you can just start by greeting people, and if someone seems warm have a short conversation with that person.

If you just repeat that every time you go to the group event, you’ll quickly get to know people. After three weeks, you’ll have a pretty good base and you’ll be ready for Phase Three.

Phase 3: Become The Leader

Become the leader of your social circle.

Now, this phase is crucial.

If you’ve already joined groups in the past, but haven’t had much luck with women, then this step is what you need. It will make women flock to you as if their lives depended on it.

As you know, for good evolutionary reasons, women have always been attracted to leaders.

So if you can become the leader, you won’t need to do much. Women will literally come to you and make it easy for you. By the way, I didn’t exaggerate when I said “as if their lives depended on it.”

In prehistory, women’s lives literally depended on it. If they could mate with the leader of the tribe, their chances of survival were much higher than if they mated with another man.

And here’s something interesting to know. We developed our mate preferences in prehistory.

That means that still today, women are incredibly attracted to leaders.

So how do you do it? How do you become the leader?

Here’s the easy way to do it.

Host gatherings.

Host gatherings

When you host gatherings, you are the organizer, you’re the center, you’re the leader.

Women will be attracted to you just because of that. No kidding. It’s THAT simple.

Not only will they be attracted to you, but as the host you’ll also have plenty of opportunities to talk to them. In fact, the women will come talk to you.

If you have a nice apartment or house, you can use your place to host the gatherings.

If you don’t have a big place, you can host your gathering at a restaurant or other location.

I’ll give you some more specific ideas later.

But first, let me share with you the exact steps of how to set it up.

Step 1: Choose a type of gathering that would be appreciated by the groups you joined.

Choose a gathering theme that both you and your group like.

This is important. People are more likely to come if it’s something they like.

If you joined a gym with group activities, a chess game is probably not the best choice.

So, pick something that fits with the likes of your group.

Here are some examples to inspire you:

• If you are doing acting classes, chances are good that people might be interested in movies with good actors. You could rent a cinema room on closed days. Rent it exclusively for you and your guests, and do a movie evening with some old movies with the best actors. You can negotiate a pretty good deal, because you’ll go on days or times when it’s normally closed to the public.

• BBQ at the beach.

• Beach volleyball.

• An outdoor bar with a nice chill vibe.

• Visiting art galleries.

• Or just a good old-fashioned dinner.

These are just some examples. I’m sure you can come up with even better ones for your unique situation.

Step 2: Invite a few of your closest friends.

Invite your closest friends first

Before you invite any people from your group activities, first invite some of your closest friends. Invite three or four friends and make sure to pick the ones that are the most fun.

Also, tell each of your friends to bring one extra person.

The reasons you start with your closest friends are many.

First of all, it gives you a core group of people that you’ve known for a longer time. It gives you a safe base for the gathering. They will make you feel more comfortable.

Second, you’ll be sure that there are already enough people coming. Let’s say you invite some people from your gym group to a beach BBQ and only one or two come.

Well, you don’t want them to arrive and see that you’re just by yourself. That doesn’t really portray you as a cool guy.

So when you already have six or seven people present, there’s social proof and more value for the people you invite.

So make sure to invite a core group first.

Step 3: Invite people from your group activities.

Invite people from your group activities

Once you have your core group, you are ready to invite women from your group activities.

But don’t just invite women—also invite some men. You don’t want those women to show up and see there’s nobody else there from the gym. That might make them suspicious.

Here’s how you invite people to your group activities.

Just tell them you’re hosting a gathering and tell them what it’s about.

Let’s say you’re talking to a woman at the gym. You could just say this:

“Hey, you seem like a fun and friendly person. I’m hosting a beach volleyball gathering next Sunday afternoon. You are welcome to join, and bring some of your friends.”

You see how easy this is?

You’re not asking her out on a date.

You’re inviting her to a gathering, and you are inviting her friends as well. The fact that you also invited her friends makes it safer for her and will increase the chances of her accepting.

It also means she’ll bring her female friends. And guess what? If she’s beautiful, her friends will usually also be beautiful. But there’s more.

If she’s your type of woman beyond her looks, chances are her friends are too. Like-minded people tend to become friends.

If you invite a few women like this, and they all bring their friends, here’s what you get:

A cool social gathering full of fun and filled with your exact type of women!

Invite women and tell them they can bring their friends. If she's beautiful, chances are her friend are too.

Invite women and tell them they can bring their friends. If she's beautiful, chances are her friends are too.

And you’ll be the leader. You’ll be the center of their attention.

Now, don’t worry.

That doesn’t mean you need to become some kind of extroverted entertainer.

Not at all. You’ll just be there chilling with the rest of the group and you’ll have your close friends with you.

You can have nice deep conversations with just one or two people at a time, and then do the same with some other people. You don’t need to be talking to everybody at the same time.

In fact, it’s a big advantage to not talk to everybody at the same time like an extroverted guy would.

The reason being is that it makes you more scarce.

When you talk to one of the women, she gets validation from you just because you chose to talk to her. Yep, it’s that easy. Especially since you are the leader.

Now, here’s the interesting part. When you stop talking to that one woman and start talking to another woman, she will feel just a little left out, and even become a little jealous.

I’m not talking about over-the-top jealous behavior, but just enough.

So by talking to one woman and then talking to another woman, you’ll install a natural push-pull effect.

By talking to one woman and then talking to another woman, you’ll install a natural push-pull effect.

She’ll feel validated when you talk to her, but a little left out when you start talking to other women.

As a result of this, women will start putting in more effort to talk to you.

There are so many attraction triggers at work here.

First of all, you are the leader. Second of all, you have pre-selection social proof.

Pre-selection states that women are more attracted to a man if they know other women are attracted to that man.

And guess what? When women see other women talking to you at your event, that’s pre-selection. It triggers attraction like crazy.

Third, because of the push-pull effect you naturally create when individually talking to different women, they’ll start to work harder for your attention.

This extra effort or investment they make will make them even more attracted. Women don’t put effort into men they’re not attracted to.

Okay, so you’re on your gathering, you’re the leader and you’re talking to women. Now the big question is:

How do you actually take it further with them?

I mean, you can’t just make a move there in front of everybody.

First of all, the other women would see it. If you were to do that with different women, you would quickly be labeled as a player.

And they’ll even figure out that you are hosting these events as a funnel to get women.

So how do you do it?

How can you make sure you set up one-on-one dates with as many women as you want without being labeled a player?

It’s simple.

You’ll be doing the EXACT opposite of what every other guy is doing.

Instead of setting up dates or asking for their number, you’ll GIVE OUT YOUR NUMBER.

Instead of setting up dates or asking for their number, you’ll GIVE OUT YOUR NUMBER.

Here’s how you do it.

While taking to women, there will be opportunities to ask them to get in contact with you.

For example, let’s say you’re talking about a topic that both of you enjoy.

You could say this:

“Hey, you know what, that’s an interesting thing you said there. Why don’t you text me about that we’ll talk some more about it?”

Usually they’ll say: “Well, I don’t have your number.”

Then you say: “You have your phone or something to write with?”

Next, she’ll take out her phone or a pen and paper and you just give her your number.

That’s all there is to it!

Now, think about this.

You can do that as many times as you want. You won’t be seen as a player because you’re giving out your number. You’re seen as the cool guy. The leader.

Oh, and if you are doubting that this will work, let me tell you: it works wonders!

You will be surprised when women start reaching out for you.

And guess what? When they reach out to you, THEY ARE CHASING YOU!

From there, it’s easy to set up the date.

Don’t make the mistake of starting a long texting conversation with women once they reach out.

Just make sure you set up the date quickly. Like almost instantly.

Don’t make the mistake of starting a long texting conversation with women once they reach out.

Here’s an example of how that might go:

Her: “Hey, Nick, it’s Aurore from the beach volleyball last Sunday. How are you?”

You: “Great! What’s up?”

Her: “Not much, just watching some TV show”

You: “So, I guess you want to get together?”

Her: “So self-confident, huh?”

You: “I’m available Monday or Thursday.”

Her: “Thursday would be good.”

You: “Happy cocktail bar. 8 pm hudson street 89.”

Her: “Okayyyyy”

You: “Dress sexy 😉”

As you can see in the example, I go for the date pretty quickly. That’s how it should be done.

Remember, she’s reaching out to you. She’s into you. She wants to see you. Give her what she wants. Don’t ruin it by texting too much at this point.

Conclusion

Building a cool social circle that fills your life with exactly your type of women doesn’t need to be hard.

In fact, it’s easy and can be done in just 63 days.

The first step is to train your brain to be more social by just greeting people.

The second step is to join groups where your type of woman would be.

The third step is to host gatherings with themes that your groups would like and invite people from your groups.

Because you’re the host, you’ll be the leader. This will make women attracted to you, and they’ll be the ones chasing you.

From there on, you just give out your number instead of asking for their numbers.

As a result, you’ll have women contacting you and CHASING you.

Where to go next?

If you liked this post, you’ll love what I have for you next.

I have a special bonus training for you that goes along with this post. Check it out in the featured download below.

Featured Download: To go along with this post, I have I special bonus training for you.

The Introvert-Friendly Kick-Ass Social Life 16 Steps Cheat Sheet. Build A Social Life That You Actually Enjoy – Without Robbing You Of Your Precious Willpower!

Nick

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3 Easy Steps To A Kick-Ass Social Life