Let’s talk “compliments” for a moment. How do they impact a woman’s ATTRACTION for you?


On many occasions, attention and compliments look like a great thing. Women usually seem to like it, and you’re getting validation from them because they keep talking to you.


However, I believe it’s time we start thinking of compliments a little differently.


Think of compliments like firewood.


A little at a time is ok. But if you use too much, you’ll burn the place down.


When you give a woman too many compliments, you’re giving your power away.


In other words, you are the opposite of a confident, in-command man.


Have you ever heard a woman say, ‘I’ve just met this romantic, really sweet and sensitive guy that compliments me all the time, writes me love letters, calls me 100 times a day and sends me flowers… and I just can’t get him out of my head…”?


No?


Neither have I.


And there’s a reason for that.

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Compliments are like a double-edged sword.

Wield it right, and you’ll slice through the white noise and INSTANTLY create that magical feeling of ATTRACTION. Wield it wrong, and you’ll chop yourself down into a chump stump. You don’t want that.


If you want to know how to use compliments effectively, you need to put yourself in her shoes.


Let’s look at it from a woman’s perspective for a moment.

Women Like To Feel Special, But They Don’t Like To Feel Idolized.

I’ve already covered what women want in great detail in other posts.


In short, they want a man that’s in control and that’s non-needy. They want a man that is successful with women and who doesn’t give his power away in exchange for sex with a beautiful girl.


The way you give a woman compliments says a lot about what kind of a man you are.


Here are some examples of bad compliments:


“Wow, look at you, you are so beautiful!”


“You have beautiful eyes.”


“You have such beautiful hair.”


What do these all have in common?


They are all about her looks, and are so GENERIC that you can tell them to any woman.


They don’t make her feel special. Instead, they make her feel idolized.


Also, she’s heard them many times before and you are just one more face in the crowd.


Probably the worst of all is that these compliments are not sincere. At least not from her perspective.


All her life, she has been told that men give these kinds of compliments because they want just one thing.


So, not only do these compliments make you look weak, because you’re giving your power away, but they also make you look distrustful.


Now that we know what doesn’t work, let’s look at what does.

The Secret To Making Compliments Work Is Not In The “How”, It’s In The WHO.

Most guys think there is some magical formula for making compliments work.


And yes, there are some guidelines that will make your compliments way more powerful. More on that later.


But the most important part of making your compliments hit home is not the words, it’s the person who is giving the compliment.


Imagine this.


Situation A: A homeless guy gives you a compliment by painting a Monet with his words.


Situation B: A famous celebrity simply says to you, “Hey, what’s up, man?”


What has more value to you? What makes you feel more special?


Of course, it’s the celebrity saying “Hi”.


As you’ve probably noticed, the celebrity didn’t even give you a compliment, he just said hi to you.


The homeless guy, on the other hand, thought of the most original compliment possible.


Still, just a simple “Hello” from a celebrity is way more valuable to you. It makes you feel much more special.


It’s exactly the same with women.


A woman can get a compliment from one guy and give him the cold shoulder, but then get the exact same compliment from another guy and love it.


Does that mean you need to become a celebrity, look like Brad Pitt, or have a million dollars in your bank account?


Hell no.


But you need to be perceived as a higher-status male. You don’t need to be the president of the United States, but she does need to see you as higher status than herself.


Now, this post is not about how to become high-status, but I can teach you how to give compliments in a high-status way.


Here are some general rules to follow to make your compliments look and feel higher-status so she feels special instead of idolized.

Criteria For Compelling Compliments

There are three different criteria that will make your compliments deadly effective.


They don’t need to meet all three criteria, but the more criteria they meet, the better they are.

1. Be Non-Needy and Keep Your Power

This one is an absolute must. Without this one, all the other criteria don’t matter.


If you are coming from a place of neediness and you give your power away through your compliment, you are SCREWED.


She might feel affection for you, but she won’t feel ATTRACTION. At best, you’ll be friend-zoned and at worst, she’ll completely disappear from your life.


Luckily, it’s really easy to make sure you keep your power when complimenting women.


Let’s get back to a high-status, high-value man. What’s the big difference between how he gives a compliment and how a needy guy gives a compliment?


It’s his INTENTION.


A high-status, non-needy man gives a compliment with a GIVING mindset. He gives value.


A low-status and needy man gives a compliment with a GETTING mindset. He tries to get value.


The high-status, in-control guy gives the compliment just because he wants to give it. He doesn’t expect validation in return. He’s not trying to get a reaction out of her.


He’s just giving, nothing more. Can you see how this keeps his power? He doesn’t need anything from her.


A low-status and needy guy will give a woman a compliment with the hope that she will like him. He wants something from her in return. He wants her affection, her attention or her love. It’s almost like he’s waiting for her applause.


Do you see the difference?


It’s crucial.


And the way you change it is by changing your intention.


The next time you compliment a woman, do it with the intention of giving and don’t expect anything in return.


It’s ironic, isn’t it?


If you need it, you don’t get it. If you don’t need it, you get it.

2. Be Different.

The best compliments to give a woman are different than what she is used to.


Now, this is an interesting and profound topic. There are many ways you can make a compliment different, and most guys have it completely wrong.


They think they need to come up with a uniquely different compliment for every woman.


That’s not the case. It has to be different to her. It’s perfectly possible to have a compliment that you use over and over again. To you it won’t be different, but to the women that get the compliment it will be different.

For example, you could say to any blonde that she looks like a modern-day Marilyn Monroe.


If you use it on 100 blondes, each of them will still see it as a different and original compliment – even though for you it’s always the same compliment.


When you start out using compliments, I would even advice you to have a few standard ones like this in your back pocket.


The reason for this is simple.


If you don’t, you’ll try and come up with something creative in the moment, and chances are you’ll say the exact same things that all other men are saying.


Or, you won’t come up with anything at all. Either way, it puts a lot of unnecessary pressure on you.


If you have some already in the hopper, you’ll feel more confident because you know you have something that works.


There’s nothing wrong with having a compliment or two in your back pocket as training wheels until you’ve truly become better and more confident with women.


And here’s a little secret for you: All the naturals have some little tricks that they use over and over again.


Look around you. I bet you have some cool uncle or friend that has some joke or story that he tells over and over when he meets new people. It’s just human nature.


Nothing wrong with that.


Now, don’t confuse this with learning PUA routines packed with long-winded stories full of lies. That’s something totally different.


Hey, btw, did you know women also have some tricks up their sleeves that they use over and over again when they want to seduce a man?


Yep, they do.


Okay. Let’s get back to being different.


I said earlier that this is a profound topic.


You can be different in so many ways, and it depends on many things.


Here are a few things that make a compliment different.


The Woman.


Yes, you read that right. The same compliment can be boring and unoriginal to some women, but can be truly uplifting for other women.


It depends on the woman. Not the compliment.


Is she the kind of woman that gets lots of compliments about her looks? Then complimenting her looks won’t work.


But if she’s not used to getting compliments about her looks, then it would work.


It would be different. She’ll feel special because it doesn’t happen often.


But believe me, attractive women have heard them all.


So, as I said earlier, your best bet is to not compliment her looks.


The Environment.


The environment in which you compliment a woman can make all the difference.


Walking up to woman in a nightclub and telling her she’s beautiful will most likely not work.


That’s because it’s an environment where she has heard these compliments over and over again.


But for contrast, walking up to a woman in the middle of the day on the street and telling her you think she looks nice is totally different.


Same compliment, different environment.


She’ll see it as sincere and trustworthy just because it’s something that has never happened to her.


She’ll also think you have GIANT BALLS for doing that, which will trigger attraction in and of itself.


And even though I told you not to compliment her looks, in this context it does work.


Although, notice I used a low-investment compliment about her looks.


I said, “You look nice”. I didn’t say “You look BEAUTIFUL”. Beautiful is a heavier word than nice. Nice shows a lower investment on your part.


The Timing Of Your Compliment.


If you compliment her on her beauty after you’ve had sex with her, it’s okay.


But even then, use it sparingly.


It works there because it’s genuine. You didn’t do it to get something from her, because you’ve already had physical intimacy.


As you can see, depending on the stage of the relationship you are in, compliments can have a different impact.


Warning: don’t use timing as an excuse to become needy in your compliments or to compliment her looks too often.


In general, you should stay away from complimenting her physical beauty.

3. Be Specific To Her.

The more specific the compliment is to her, the better it works.


They are more trustworthy and they make her feel special.


Again, don’t make the mistake of making it specific to her looks.


For example, if she has big Bambi-looking eyes, don’t tell her that her eyes are beautiful.


Every other man will already have told her that.


It’s a compliment about her looks, and they don’t work well.


Instead, make the compliment specific to something she put effort into.


For example, you could say something like, “I like your eyes. More specifically, I like how you did your make-up on your eyes.”


See how this compliments not just her eyes, but something that she put effort into?


Believe me, women put a lot of time into their makeup and choosing the right outfits, etc.


When you give her a specific compliment on something like that, it makes her feel validated.


Also, it shows her you have an eye for detail.


Okay, now that you know more about the psychology of compliments and how they work, let me give you what you’ve been waiting for.


Here are three proven compliments that will compel her to feel attracted to you.


As you read them, I’d like you to figure out how many of the three criteria they meet.


That will be a good exercise for you to really get this down.

1. Effort-Based Compliments

As I already described, complimenting something she put effort into is a great compliment.


First, it’s different than what most guys compliment her on. Second, it’s more trustworthy to her. And lastly, it’s something she would love to be complimented on.


Just look at yourself—don’t you like to get a compliment on something you put lots of effort into? Of course you do.


Here are some word-for-word effort-based compliments you can use.


“I like how you matched your make-up to your clothes.”


“I like how you matched your earrings to your clothes.”


“I like how you matched your hair shade to your skin tone.”

2. The Sexual Compliment.

The sexual compliment is great to use to build sexual tension.


Just use it now and then during your dates.


They really spice up the conversation.


They also work especially well when you’re steering the conversation toward more sexual topics and your date is a bit shy or doesn’t really allow you to go in that direction.


A way that more shy women will avoid sexual tension is to derail the conversation toward more serious and boring stuff.


But if you let that happen, there will be no sexual tension. You need sexual tension to avoid the friend-zone.


In the use of sexual compliments lies the ultimate solution.


Here’s how you do it. Talk to her, and then just act as if you catch yourself looking at her legs or at her breasts.


“Damn, your legs keep distracting me. Excuse me. So, what was I saying…? Oh yeah, blah blah.”


“Oops, sorry, I just looked at your breasts! Damn, I can’t help myself. It must be the beer… Bad beer!” and put your hand over your eyes like you are forcing yourself not to look there.


The general vibe you want to give off is that you’re fighting against yourself. You are fighting against your animalistic instincts.


Women love it.


Also, notice that you immediately change the subject. Don’t make the mistake of giving her a sexual compliment and then waiting for a reaction. It doesn’t work.


You need to give her the pleasure of experiencing the compliment’s tantalizing effect without the downside of it.


What I mean by this is the following. The sexual compliment will give her some tantalizing feelings. But if you don’t change the subject quickly, her mental programming will kick in.


She’ll start to think about how she should react to these kinds of remarks. What did society tell her to do in these situations? You’re right, object!


But if instead you quickly take the focus to something else, she will have had the pleasure of the tantalizing feeling without the discomfort of having to object to you.


In other words, by not giving her mind the time to logically object to it, you have given her a beautiful gift—the gift of tantalizing feelings.


So why do sexual compliments work?


You might think that they are physical compliments, and yes they are, but they are totally different than telling her she’s beautiful.


First, they are different because I can assure you that probably nobody has ever done that to her, except maybe a boyfriend when they were already in a relationship.


Second, it’s trustworthy. Most men give compliments about her beauty while hiding their sexual intention. Women know that men give compliments because they want sex.


So, by using a sexual compliment, you are being honest about the fact that you are sexually attracted to her.


And third, it’s exciting. It builds sexual chemistry, which is something women love.


Now, don’t confuse this with using crass or profane language. That doesn’t work.

3. The Double-Edged Compliment.

With the double-edged compliment, you give her a compliment on something she put a lot of attention into, just like with the effort-based compliment, but you immediately tell her how she can improve herself.


“I like how the shades you put in your hair complement your skin. You made a good choice there, but have you considered wearing your hair up? I think it would better accentuate your neck.”


Why does it work?


Well first of all, it definitely keeps your power. The fact that you complimented her but then immediately gave her advice on how to improve implies you are used to beautiful women.


It implies you have higher standards.


Second, it’s absolutely different from all the other compliments she has ever received in her life.


And third, it’s totally specific to her.

Conclusion

Complimenting a woman is most guys’ favorite tactic for getting attention from women.


However, don’t confuse getting attention from women with getting them ATTRACTED to you.


If you give compliments the wrong way, you’ll lose your power and she’ll either friend-zone you or vanish from your life for good.


Do it the right way, and you’ll instantly create deep attraction and even fascination with her.


For compliments to be effective, they have to meet at least one of the following three criteria.


They need to be different, they need to be specific to her, and you must do it in a way that keeps your power.


The real secret to making compliments work is not in what you say, it’s in WHO YOU ARE.


If you are a truly confident, in-control man, she’ll love to get a compliment from you.


If you come from a place of neediness, your compliments will have the opposite effect.


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