By the worlds #1 dating coach for Introverted Men - Nick Neeson.

There are many things that pick-up artist (PUA) gurus say that will RUIN your chances with quality women.

One of the reasons that these things ANNOY quality women is because they’re signs of insecurity…

Insecurity DISGUISED as confidence. It’s called Polar Opposing Insecurity Compensation (POIC).

POIC occurs when a person focuses on something he doesn’t want to be, because that behavior makes him feel insecure.

He then becomes the exact opposite of the things that make him feel insecure.

For example, if somebody is very shy and quiet, he might become loud and obnoxious to prove to the world and himself that he isn’t shy. Every time he acts loud and obnoxious, he can say to himself, “At least I wasn’t quiet and shy this evening”.

Women can see right through that behavior. Especially quality women.

Women Are Annoyed By Polar Opposite Insecurity Compensation (POIC) Behavior. PUA Is The Hallmark Of POIC!

And as you already know, we attract what we are.

If you do things because of Polar Opposing Insecurity Compensation, you’ll be focusing on (and thus reinforcing) your insecurities instead of healing them.

It’s fake confidence. And you’re FOOLING YOURSELF. Worse, you’ll become more and more insecure without even realizing it.

It will attract women that are on the same level, meaning insecure or low-quality women.

But when a quality woman sees this behavior, she will disqualify you in the blink of an eye.

PUA is the hallmark of Polar Opposite Insecurity Compensation.

In this article, you’ll discover eight POIC things PUA gurus teach that quality women hate.

A beautiful quality woman can like everything about you, but if you do these things (or even one of these things), it will DESTROY your chances of getting her.

As you read these eight POIC behaviors, you’ll notice how they are driven by opposite insecurities.

After you’ve read this, you’ll start to see right through people’s masks and you’ll be able to avoid falling in this trap yourself.

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1. DHV Stories (Delivering High Value Stories)

PUAs Will Advise You To Bragg About Yourself Through Telling Stories In The First 15 Minutes Of Meeting A Woman. Don’t Do It. Quality Women Will Make Fun Of You.

PUAs Will Advise You To Bragg About Yourself Through Storytelling In The First 15 Minutes Of Meeting A Woman. Don’t Do It. Quality Women Will Make Fun Of You.

DHV Stories are stories you tell about yourself in which you embed cool things about yourself. Mostly, these are lies.

For example: “Last summer I was picking up my model girlfriend and she arrived in a Ferrari. Normally she has an Audi. She finished a photoshoot and she could keep the Ferrari for one day, blah blah blah…”

PUAs will advise you to tell stories like that in the first 15 minutes of meeting a woman so you can make her attracted to you.

Here’s the problem with that. First off, you’re lying. And if you’re a good-hearted introverted man, that’s not you. You’ll be incongruent. You probably wouldn’t even try it, ‘cause it’s not you.

Quality women will see right through it. They will know you are doing POIC. Here’s their perception of guys who do that:

“What a loser. If he feels the need to tell these kinds of stories to people he just met, he’s probably an insecure guy that never had any luck with women”.

She’ll think of you as the polar opposite of how you present yourself.

And even if the story was true, it would still have that effect on her.

She’ll think of you as an insecure bragger.

If you brag about yourself the PUA way, women will think of you as a loser.

Also, this is not aligned with who you are. Smart, introverted men don’t volunteer personal stories to everyone they meet. Especially not so fast, and not in that bragging way.

They prefer to reveal themselves later on, when there is more of a connection.

So, if you are an introverted man, here’s what to do instead.

Let her find out over time about your accomplishments in life. It’s better in the beginning to be the quietly confident guy that keeps the conversation focused on her.

After 45 minutes or so, she’ll realize that you know so much about her and she knows nothing about you – but she feels attracted to you. That’s when she will start to ask you questions.

When she does, you can slowly reveal things about yourself, including some real stories that show her you are an attractive man.

But don’t reveal everything at once. It’s better to let her find out piece by piece over the course of multiple dates.

And when she finds out on her own that you are the CEO of a successful company or that you are talented in some sport, she’ll be even more attracted to you.

That’s because you didn’t brag about it.

If you want, you can even steer the conversation toward these topics by asking her questions, and she’ll naturally ask those questions back to you.

That’s okay.

As long as you do it in a slow way over time, and not in the first 15 minutes of meeting her.

2. Peacocking

Here’s what quality women think of peacocking: “What an insecure guy. He has no idea how much he’s making a fool of himself. What a loser.”

PUAs will tell you to wear strange things to stand out and attract attention to yourself, like strange hats, feather boas, or wearing sunglasses during a night out.

Who the heck wears sunglasses at night? Hmm, they must be really cool guys… sorry for my sarcasm, but it makes laugh.

But honestly, above all: YES, it will get you more attention, but it doesn’t build attraction.

Have you ever seen a strangely dressed guy entering a venue and you thought, “What an idiot”, but you couldn’t help but look at him?

Well, that’s exactly what PUA peacocking does. People will start looking at you.

You’ll think you’re getting more attention, but they are making fun of you. You’re the fool of the venue.

Here’s what quality women will think of you: “What an insecure guy. He has no idea how much he’s making a fool of himself. What a loser.”

Why? ‘Cause she’ll see the POIC behavior. She’ll see you as the polar opposite of how you want to present yourself.

Here’s what do instead. Stand out by understanding fashion and correctly accessorizing yourself.

If you do that the right way, you’ll stand out because a really great sense of fashion is not so common. Go find a stylist and let him teach you how to dress.

You’ll stand out in a positive way and get the right kind of attention. Plus, women will be attracted to you instead of making fun of you.

3. Negging

The purpose of negging is to make women insecure about themselves. Don’t do it! It’s weak, and plain stupid!

The purpose of negging is to make women insecure about themselves. It’s about lowering their perception of self-value, making you more attractive by comparison.

For example: “You know, I like that outfit you’ve got on… but I don’t know, your shoes don’t really match. You should have gone with tan boots.”

Or, “Your nose is a little red. Are you a bit sick?”

Don’t do it! It’s weak, and plain stupid! Yes, on some girls it might work. But all you’ll attract using this method are psychologically damaged women.

A beautiful, smart, quality woman will see right through the POIC behavior.

Here’s how a quality woman will think: “This guy must have really low self-esteem if he tries to bring women down like this.”

Here’s what to do instead.

Learn naturally attractive behaviors. Use teasing instead. Playfully tease her in a cocky way, but don’t neg her. And even with cocky teasing, I wouldn’t do it on a sweet girl.

I would only do it on a girl with a big ego that’s acting arrogantly.

It’s a myth that you need to be cocky with the most beautiful women to knock them off their pedestal.

I’ve known perfect 10s that were really sweet women. There is no need to tease them in a cocky way.

Only if she’s displaying arrogance or spoiled princess behavior should you use cocky teasing. But never ever use NEGGING.

4. AMOGing

AMOGing = Polar Opposing Insecurity Compensation (POIC) In Action

AMOG stands for Alpha Male Other Guy. AMOGing is a verb created by the PUA community that means that you’ll out-alpha another guy. Basically, it means you’ll be ridiculing your male competition.

For example, a PUA is going to talk to a girl who’s with a guy. The PUA will AMOG the guy by saying something like “Hey, nice shirt, bro” in a tone to ridicule the other guy.

Here’s how a quality woman will perceive you: she’ll see you as a guy with low self-esteem.

Here’s what to do instead.

If you were to go talk to a woman who is in the company of another man, just start talking to the man in a friendly way and ask him questions, like…

“How are you doing?”, “Where are you from?”, etc. At a certain moment in the interaction, ask him if she’s his girlfriend. If he says yes, then ask her if it’s true.

If she confirms, leave it there. If she says he’s not her boyfriend, you can just talk to her.

This will show her you are a really confident guy with good, solid self-esteem instead of some scared little boy who uses POIC behavior.

5. Not Buying Women Drinks

Now, this is the most ridiculous thing ever.

But I get where it comes from. It comes from the pickup line, “You are beautiful. Can I buy you a drink?” Now, of course, that’s totally wrong.

And, of course, if you approach a woman and she says, “Why don’t you buy me a drink?” then it’s also wrong to do it.

Because it positions you as the guy who wants to buy her love, or the guy she can make jump through her hoops.

But PUAs take this to the extreme, and it backfires on quality women.

They will be talking to a woman and they will finish their glass, and then order something for themselves without asking if she wants something to drink.

Now, this is plain stupid. And a quality woman will see you as a cheap guy without any class.

If you talk to a woman and you see she’s into you, be a gentleman and buy her a drink. It’s totally fine.

When you take her out on a date, it’s absolutely fine for you to pay for the drinks.

Although I advocate against taking women to dinner on a first date, or even on a second date.

But if you take her to a restaurant on a third date, then it’s absolutely fine to pay for the dinner. Be a man. Take the lead. There’s nothing wrong with that.

6. The Three-Second Rule

The Three-Second Rule Will Drain Your Energy As An Introvert.

This is also a classic.

Although it can be helpful in some cases, in most cases it has the opposite effect.

The Three-Second Rule states that when you see a woman that you like, you need to approach her within three seconds of seeing her.

If you do this, you won’t give that little voice in your head the time to talk you out of it. And it does have some value.

But in most cases, you’re better off waiting and demonstrating some value in her peripheral field.

Here’s how you do it.

Most guys will stand with their glass close to their chest and look into the venue like predators waiting for prey.

If, instead, you truly interact with your friends and have fun with them, you’ll stand out. She’ll notice you. You’ll be building value in her eyes.

She’ll probably start giving you some approach invitations, like making eye contact with you, smiling, etc.

In most cases, it’s much better to first build value like this and wait a little while before you approach her. You’ll get a higher success rate.

Also, as an introvert, you don’t want to approach every woman you see. It would drain your energy. You’ll want to be a bit more strategic about your approaches.

Don’t always follow the three-second rule. Sometimes it’s good to approach immediately, but sometimes you should be a bit more strategic about it.

Also, if you use the three-second rule, you’ll constantly be approaching women.

High-quality women will notice that, and you’ll be labeled as THAT guy that spam-approaches all women. It’s social suicide. She’ll see you as a loser who’s not used to having women in his life.

Because a man that’s truly successful with women, AKA a man with abundance, wouldn’t feel the need to constantly approach women like this.

7. Being The Loud Obnoxious Guy

As a smart, introverted man, this is definitely not your style. And you should avoid it like the plague.

Many new-style PUAs adopt the style of being the loud, obnoxious guy.

You’ve probably seen some very popular YouTube videos about some big company using this style. I’m not going to say names here, but chances are you know what company I’m talking about.

And yes, you’ll see them making out with women. But you’ll also note WHAT kind of women they’re making out with… low-quality women. We attract what we are.

As a smart, introverted man, this is definitely not your style. And you should avoid it like the plague.

Plus, here’s how a quality woman judges this POIC behavior: “This must be a very insecure, shy guy on the inside if he has to overcompensate like this”.

8. The Overly Aggressive, Taking-What’s-Mine Attitude

What quality women think of this: “This guy must be a weak, scared little boy inside if he overcompensates by acting this physically aggressive”.

This is also a style that some PUAs use and promote. And if you’ve been reading about dating advice for just a little bit, than you’ve probably seen this overly aggressive style in action.

It’s all about aggressive physical escalation: See girl. Grab girl. Escalate. Be overly aggressive.

Again, I’m not going to name the company’s name, but one of their instructors, according to Wikipedia, has been formally banned from entering Australia, the United Kingdom, and Singapore because of his overly aggressive and misogynistic behavior toward women.

Does this style work?

Yes, it will work on low-value women that have no self-respect.

However, as a thoughtful introverted man, you prefer high-quality women instead.

Here’s how quality women see this kind of overly aggressive, taking-what’s-mine behavior : “This guy must be a weak, scared little boy inside if he overcompensates by acting this physically aggressive”.

Conclusion

The PUA approach doesn’t work to attract quality women, and it makes your insecurities worse.

That’s because most PUA mindsets and techniques are coming from a Polar Opposing Insecurity Complex (POIC).

POIC occurs when a person focuses on something he doesn’t want to be because that behavior makes him feel insecure.

So he becomes the polar opposite of the behavior that makes him insecure. Sadly, it only makes his inner insecurity worse.

Quality women can see right through this.

Even though they might not know what POIC is, they instinctively and instantly spot this behavior and understand it’s coming from a place of insecurity.

Also, PUA techniques don’t work for smart, introverted men because they go against your deepest nature.

Now that I’ve shared the eight biggest mistakes the PUA community teaches, you need to get an education on what works for smart, introverted men.

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