I don’t want to play games—it’s fake and unethical. Why can’t I just tell her I love her?
"You can never really live anyone else's life, not even your child's. The influence you exert is through your own life, and what you've become yourself."
- Eleanor Roosevelt
It’s a way of presenting myself in a more attractive way, just like women present themselves in more attractive ways by using makeup, push-up bras, and other kinds of visual enhancements. There’s nothing wrong with that. That’s how the world works. People present themselves in the best possible way—not only in dating, but also in business and other parts of their lives.
The dating game is played no matter what. So, either I can sit by and watch like a spectator or I can join the action. I choose to join the action. And like you said, Nick, you have the good side of the force and the bad side of the force. I use dating skills as the good side of the force to give her the gift of falling for a good guy, and protect her from falling into the hands of a PUA or bad guy that uses the dark side. I think that’s a good thing.
To me, dating dynamics is just another form of social dynamics.
It’s like when you’re having friends over for pizza, and there’s just one last slice left. You don’t take the last slice—you leave it for other people. You really wanted that last slice of pizza, but you didn’t show it. Where you being fake? Of course not! You just showed social intelligence.
Or when the bride walks down the aisle, totally happy and glowing, but you think her wedding dress looks cheap and ugly. Will you tell her you think her dress looks like crap? Of course not! Does this mean you’re lying or being unethical? Of course not. It means you have social intelligence. You know how to behave in social situations.
And just as there are certain dynamics in social situations, there are also certain dynamics in dating and love. If you want to have a good social life, you need to learn how to behave socially. It’s the same with dating. If you want to have a fulfilling dating and love life, you need to learn how to behave in those areas.
There’s nothing inauthentic about it. On the contrary, it’s a life skill!
The definition of insanity is repeating the same behaviors and expecting a different outcome.
-Albert Einstein