How To Annihilate Approach Anxiety
11 Proven First Date Hacks That Will Make You Stand Out
25 REAL Reasons Why Introverted Men Are So Damn Attractive
By the worlds #1 dating coach for Introverted Men - Nick Neeson.
There she is—your perfect woman, standing at the street corner. She’s exactly your type: beautiful, dressed just like you like it.
The wind is blowing through her hair and you can smell her sweet perfume. It’s a moment straight out of a movie.
You’re walking toward her. You can’t believe your eyes. What will you do?
You want to talk to her, so you try to pump yourself up, but suddenly anxiety consumes you and “thought-weasels” sneak into your mind…
Before you know it, the only thing that’s left of her is a small dot on the horizon.
She's gone. You’re kicking yourself for the rest of the day because you didn’t approach your dream woman.
What happened?
Approach Anxiety and his little friends the “thought-weasels” attacked you.
Their purpose? To make you weasel out of the approach.
Has this ever happened to you? If so, you’re not alone. And it’s not your fault.
Nobody ever showed you how to beat approach anxiety. And most of the advice about how to overcome it is just DEAD WRONG.
Wouldn’t it be great to destroy these traitorous feelings and their little weasel friends once and for all?
Wouldn’t it be great to be able to start conversations with women that you feel attracted to? No matter when. No matter where.
You might be thinking: “Yeah, sure! But I’ve tried before and nothing worked.”
If so, then this article was made especially for you.
Today, I’d like to introduce…
5 Brand-New Ways To Destroy Approach Anxiety Forever – Especially If Nothing Else Worked.
But before we dive into them, let’s first look at what doesn’t work.
The typical PUA advice:
• Just do it, man!
• The Three-Second Rule: When you see a woman, approach her within three seconds. This way, the “thought-weasels” don’t have time to talk you out of it.
• The 30-Second Game: Your friend punches you on the shoulder every 30 seconds until you approach the woman.
• Desensitization Challenge: Approach 40 women every day for 10 months.
• It’s just a girl!
What does all this advice have in common?
They don’t work on the root causes of your approach anxiety, and they are based on outdated psychology.
If you want to eradicate approach anxiety once and for all, you need to treat it at its roots.
Here’s the official definition according to the Urban Dictionary.
Approaching a woman in those times could have fatal repercussions.
1. If you approached the wrong woman, the leader of the tribe could smash your head like a pumpkin.
2. You would risk getting expelled from the group. This meant you wouldn't survive long.
3. If a woman rejected you, that was also a bad thing. The tribes were so small that every other woman would know you were rejected, and your chances with other women would be close to zero.
In fact, approach anxiety served a purpose: to make sure you would only approach the right woman.
It helped increase your chances of survival and reproduction.
Yet these days we don’t have the risk of getting our head smashed by cavemen anymore. Also, we don’t live in small tribes anymore. It doesn't matter if you get rejected, because nobody (or few people) will ever know.
But we still have this approach anxiety that stops us from getting the love life that we want and deserve.
There is a lot of information out there on how to beat approach anxiety. Most of it is outdated. It’s based on what we knew about psychology back then. Since then, psychology has evolved a lot and there are much better solutions.
The wind is blowing through her hair and you can smell her sweet perfume. It’s a moment straight out of a movie.
You’re walking toward her. You can’t believe your eyes. What will you do?
Will You Approach Her Or Weasel Out?
You want to talk to her, so you try to pump yourself up, but suddenly anxiety consumes you and “thought-weasels” sneak into your mind…
Well, she’s probably married… I’m not dressed well today… I didn’t sleep well last night and my vibe is off… She’s on her way to work and there’s no time now to talk to her… I’m not her type…
Approach Anxiety Thought Weasel Talking You Out Of The Approach
She's gone. You’re kicking yourself for the rest of the day because you didn’t approach your dream woman.
What happened?
Approach Anxiety and his little friends the “thought-weasels” attacked you.
Their purpose? To make you weasel out of the approach.
Has this ever happened to you? If so, you’re not alone. And it’s not your fault.
Nobody ever showed you how to beat approach anxiety. And most of the advice about how to overcome it is just DEAD WRONG.
Wouldn’t it be great to destroy these traitorous feelings and their little weasel friends once and for all?
Wouldn’t it be great to be able to start conversations with women that you feel attracted to? No matter when. No matter where.
You might be thinking: “Yeah, sure! But I’ve tried before and nothing worked.”
Tried Everything And Still Not Approaching?
If so, then this article was made especially for you.
Today, I’d like to introduce…
5 Brand-New Ways To Destroy Approach Anxiety Forever – Especially If Nothing Else Worked.
But before we dive into them, let’s first look at what doesn’t work.
The typical PUA advice:
• Just do it, man!
• The Three-Second Rule: When you see a woman, approach her within three seconds. This way, the “thought-weasels” don’t have time to talk you out of it.
• The 30-Second Game: Your friend punches you on the shoulder every 30 seconds until you approach the woman.
• Desensitization Challenge: Approach 40 women every day for 10 months.
• It’s just a girl!
What does all this advice have in common?
They don’t work on the root causes of your approach anxiety, and they are based on outdated psychology.
Most Advice On Approach Anxiety Treats Symptoms Instead Of Root Causes.
If you want to eradicate approach anxiety once and for all, you need to treat it at its roots.
What is approach anxiety?
Approach anxiety is a fear of approaching women you're attracted to. It stops you from talking to women. It fills your mind with excuses, extreme levels of fear, and pointless chatter.Here’s the official definition according to the Urban Dictionary.
Approach Anxiety Definition
Why do we feel approach anxiety?
We developed approach anxiety more than two million years ago. It stems from when we were living in small tribes as hunter-gatherers.We developed approach anxiety more than two million years ago. It stems from when we were living in small tribes as hunter-gatherers.
Approaching a woman in those times could have fatal repercussions.
1. If you approached the wrong woman, the leader of the tribe could smash your head like a pumpkin.
2. You would risk getting expelled from the group. This meant you wouldn't survive long.
3. If a woman rejected you, that was also a bad thing. The tribes were so small that every other woman would know you were rejected, and your chances with other women would be close to zero.
In fact, approach anxiety served a purpose: to make sure you would only approach the right woman.
It helped increase your chances of survival and reproduction.
Approach Anxiety Was A Survival Mechanism
Yet these days we don’t have the risk of getting our head smashed by cavemen anymore. Also, we don’t live in small tribes anymore. It doesn't matter if you get rejected, because nobody (or few people) will ever know.
But we still have this approach anxiety that stops us from getting the love life that we want and deserve.
There is a lot of information out there on how to beat approach anxiety. Most of it is outdated. It’s based on what we knew about psychology back then. Since then, psychology has evolved a lot and there are much better solutions.
1. Collapsing Anchors
Collapsing Anchors is a powerful technique from NLP. It helps you get rid of negative feelings or emotions such as fear, approach anxiety, anger, worry, or annoyance.
NLP Anchor Technique Cures Approach Anxiety
And the beauty of it is that you set it up once and it runs forever.
So what is an anchor?
Have you ever heard a song from when you were younger and it catapulted you back in time?
That’s an anchor.
An anchor in NLP is the relationship between a trigger and a change in mood. It’s a type of a stimulus-response pattern.
Positive anchors evoke pleasant feelings. For example:
Chocolate. If you like chocolate a lot, then just the sight or the thought of chocolate can change your mood. It can make you want to eat chocolate.
If You Are A Chocolate Fan, Then Just Looking At Chocolate Can Change Your State.
A baby smiling at you can evoke feelings of warmth.
Looking At A Smiling Baby Triggers Feelings Of Warmth. It’s An Anchor That Changes Your Mood!
Negative anchors evoke unpleasant feelings. For example:
Someone driving too close behind you can evoke stress.
The act of approaching a woman you don’t know causes you to feel approach anxiety.
So there are stimuli (triggers) and responses (feelings or mood changes).
Have you ever heard of Ivan Petrovich Pavlov?
He was a famous Russian psychologist known for his work on classical conditioning.
One of the experiments that made him famous involved a dog and food.
He showed food (the stimulus) to the dog and the dog began to salivate (the response).
After a while, Pavlov found that the dog started to salivate just by seeing him. He (Pavlov) had become the stimulus that made the dog salivate.
When he discovered this, he did some more experiments.
He wanted to see if he could condition the dog to salivate when he used other stimuli.
Pavlov used a bell for this experiment.
Every time he showed the dog food, he rung a bell at the same time.
He repeated this a few times and conditioned the dog to see the bell as the new stimulus.
The dog started to associate the bell (the stimulus) with food (the previous stimulus).
After a while, Pavlov only rang the bell (the new stimulus) without showing the food.
The result? The dog salivated just by hearing the bell.
Pavlov Conditioning Experiment
What does this mean? It means we can condition ourselves to change our stimuli.
And the best part is that we can turn ANYTHING we want into a stimulus.
Even an emotion can become the stimulus for another emotion.
For example, emotion A (worrying) can become the stimulus to trigger emotion B (optimism).
Can you see where this is going?
What if approach anxiety was the stimulus to evoke a more empowering feeling or state, like happiness or self-confidence?
What if all that happened on autopilot?
That’s what collapsing anchors does.
Collapsing anchors is the process of making a negative emotion trigger a positive emotion.
The Negative Emotion Will Trigger The Positive Emotion.
The negative emotions become the stimulus, and the positive emotion becomes the response.
For example: approach anxiety becomes the stimulus to trigger confidence, happiness, or excitement.
Because the negative emotion triggers the positive emotion, the following happens:
1. The positive emotion will replace the negative emotion completely, which means that feeling bad will make you feel good.
2. The positive emotions will AT LEAST neutralize the negative emotion.
In both cases, your approach anxiety will be gone.
Yes, this means your approach anxiety will become your best friend.
Because whenever your approach anxiety gets triggered, you’ll also trigger your confidence. Or it could even trigger many different emotions at the same time.
For example, your approach anxiety could trigger confidence plus any other empowering emotion.
And YOU get to choose which emotions you want to trigger. Confidence, excitement, euphoria, happiness… whatever you want.
With collapsing anchors, you will turn your approach anxiety into your best friend.
If you want to remove approach anxiety forever, then download this exercise right now:
Collapsing Anchors For Approach Anxiety.
It shows you exactly how to use collapsing anchors to remove your approach anxiety.
2. Power Posing
Power Posing was discovered by Amy Cuddy.Amy Cuddy is a sociologist, professor, and researcher at Harvard Business School.
Amy Cuddy On Ted Talk Giving Her Famous Speech On Power Posing
She discovered there are certain power poses that help your body lower your cortisol and increase your testosterone.
We’re talking about BIG improvements here!
Did you know that just two minutes of power posing can increase your testosterone by up to 40% and lower your cortisol by up to 40%?
Yep. That much! This is revolutionary!
What does this have to do with approach anxiety?
Well, testosterone affects confidence. The higher your testosterone levels, the higher your confidence.
Cortisol is a stress hormone that affects anxiety. The lower your cortisol levels, the lower your anxiety.
Power Posing Reduces Approach Anxiety By Increasing Testosterone And Decreasing Cortisol.
Power posing will cut your approach anxiety and maximize your confidence. That's because power posing gives you a more favorable hormonal mix.
So if you want to beat approach anxiety, then make sure you do two minutes of power posing every three to four hours.
Put a reminder on your phone that pops up every three hours to remind you to do your power pose.
If you want to get our number-one power posing exercise, click here.
We tested this on countless people.
The Victory Pose worked the best for all our customers and for ourselves.
3. Thought Loops
Think And Get Rid Of Your Approach Anxiety
Thought loops are like affirmations. They are affirmative phrases that you say to yourself.
I know you’re probably thinking that affirmations are not new. And you’re right, but thought loops are quite new.
The difference between affirmations and thought loops is that thought loops are silent. That’s because you don’t say them out loud, you say them inside your head.
You LOOP them in your head.
Thought Loops As A Cure For Approach Anxiety
So, for example, you say inside your head:
I’m over-confident with women, I’m over-confident with women, I’m over-confident with women, etc.
You keep looping this thought in your mind while you’re doing something else.
So what’s the advantage of using thought loops?
1. Thought loops give you an immediate boost of confidence. Just test it and you’ll see for yourself.
2. Because they are silent affirmations, they are easier to use than spoken affirmations. You can use them everywhere and anytime you want without looking like a weirdo. This means you’ll use them more often, which will increase your self-confidence even more.
3. They change your self-image over time so that your self-confidence becomes automatic and permanent.
Get our best thought loop exercise today: Think And Kill Your Approach Anxiety.
It shows you the EXACT DETAILS of how to make thought loops work. Yes, that’s right: you have to do them the right way. Otherwise they don’t work.
4. Competence vs. Challenge
Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi coined the term “flow”. It describes his scientific investigation of “being in state” or “being in the zone”.
Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi Flow Optimal Experience
He did a study that ran for over 30 years, and he discovered what it takes to get into “the zone”.
Flow is achieved when you have a balance between challenge and skill.
The perceived level of challenge in an activity has to be equal to the perceived level of skill. It has to be at a challenging but achievable level.
When you get this balance right, you experience a state of flow.
When your perceived level of skill is higher than the perceived level of the challenge, you get bored.
When your perceived level of skill is lower than the perceived level of challenge, you get anxiety.
Balance Instantly Eliminates Approach Anxiety
If you want to end anxiety and get into flow, you either need to lower the challenge or increase your skill level.
The fastest way to end anxiety is to lower the perceived challenge level.
The way you do that is by formulating a goal that is achievable.
For example: If you approach women because you want to get their number, a date, or their validation, you are setting yourself up for failure. That’s because this goal is behind your control.
I don’t care how good you become at dating skills, you can’t control how a woman will react. You will never get a 100% success rate, and you know that.
So by setting up a goal that is behind your control, you increase your perception of the challenge. This, in turn, creates anxiety.
It’s exactly the same with approach anxiety.
The best way to end approach anxiety INSTANTLY is to change your goal.
For example, you could make it your goal to find out if she’s the kind of woman that you want to date. See, that’s a different goal. It’s within your control.
Or you could make your goal just to approach her for the sake of approaching her and practicing your skills. That’s within your control. You see, it doesn’t matter if she gives you her number because that wasn’t your goal. Your goal was just to approach her and practice. Nothing else.
The second way is to increase your perceived skill level.
Now that’s where the whole pick-up community has it wrong.
They tell you that you need to have 15 to 30 minutes of conversation to get a solid number (that won’t flake).
You need to open, build attraction, and then get some rapport going. The rapport thing alone takes between 15 and 30 minutes to build.
Here’s the problem with that. When you are learning dating skills, a 15- to 30-minute conversation is a hell of a challenge! You already have to be skilled to be able to do that without messing it up.
30 Minutes Of Talking To A Woman You Just Approached Is A Hell Of A Challenge When You Are Just Starting Out
Of course you’re going to have approach anxiety if you need that kind of a skill level to be successful.
Next, they teach you some canned openers and they tell you it will help with your approach anxiety. The reasoning is usually given as: Hey, it’s been tested thousands of times and it works, so you don’t need to be afraid to approach. You’ll get a great response!
But it doesn’t work like that. Why?
Well, let me ask you a question. What happens after the opener? You still need to have approximately 20 minutes of conversation without blowing it.
Giving someone a canned opener and telling them to relax is like teaching a pilot how to take off without teaching him how to fly and land. Of course the pilot is going to feel anxiety.
My god. No wonder it takes guys about five years on average to get good with women.
No wonder most give up before they get there. No wonder approach anxiety is hard to beat with that kind of approach.
The trick is to choose a method that needs less skill to develop.
Here at Team Introverted Badass, we teach men how to get solid phone numbers in two, max three, minutes.
Before you say anything, consider this:
We test everything and measure everything.
I’ve been coaching introverted men for more 20 years, and I’ve found that the most solid phone numbers come from the shortest interactions. Even when the person is advanced at dating! That’s right.
There’s no need to build rapport for 20 minutes to get a solid number. In fact, doing this will get you more flaky numbers than if you would have had a shorter interaction of just two minutes.
We’ve tested this countless times ourselves, and through our students.
Two to three minutes of interaction is the sweet spot to get the most solid numbers possible.
Two to three minutes of interaction is the sweet spot to get the most solid numbers possible
So why does the PUA and seduction community teach this if it doesn’t work?
Is it because the longer and the more complex their methods, the more products they can make out of it to sell?
I don’t know. But I DO KNOW FOR SURE THAT IT DOESN'T WORK, and it takes too much time to learn.
If you would like to learn a simple method to get numbers that convert into dates in less than three minutes of interaction, then click here to get on the waiting list for our NEW webinar.
It teaches you a minimalistic method that doesn’t need a high skill level. This means you'll get results EXTREMELY fast.
Because you won't need a high skill level, it will diminish the challenge.
It allows you to cut approach anxiety, get into flow mode, and get dates with beautiful women EASILY.
This BRAND-NEW webinar is FREE, and we will launch it soon. Be sure to register here for FREE so you can secure your spot.
5. Logical Levels Of Change
I saved the best for last. This is THE BOMB.If you’ve tried everything and nothing has worked, this one will help you for sure.
The bad news is that it does require coaching. You can’t do it on your own, unless you are a certified NLP practitioner.
Logical levels of change was developed by Robert Dilts. It is the single most powerful method to change yourself.
We have different levels at which we can have issues and/or can make a change.
Robert Dilts found that:
* A change on a lower level CAN have an impact on a higher level.
* A change on a higher level WILL have an impact on a lower level.
Logical Levels Of Change From NLP To Beat Approach Anxiety
For example:
If you change your behavior (level 1), it CAN have an impact on your beliefs (level 3). But if you change your beliefs (level 3), it WILL have an impact on your behavior (level1).
Let’s take the example of approach anxiety.
Your approach anxiety can be caused by issues on the different logical levels.
For example: You might have a belief that you are not good-looking enough, and women will reject you if you approach them.
If you use the “just do it” method, you MIGHT over time change your belief. If you approach enough women and get enough good reactions, then you might reconsider your belief over time.
The problem with this is that it will take a lot of time, and it MIGHT work.
That’s because every time a woman says “no” to you, you take it as proof of your existing belief. You wouldn’t even continue approaching to get enough positive responses to change your belief.
In the meantime, your approach anxiety is still there, and it stops you from doing enough approaches.
That’s why the PUA ‘just do it, man’ mentality doesn’t work, or at best works only in a FEW cases.
If you want to get rid of it, you need to get rid of your problem at its root.
In this example, your approach anxiety is caused by a limiting belief.
If you change your limiting belief to an empowering belief, then you WILL change your behavior. You will approach women.
That’s because you did an intervention on the right logical level.
Examples of empowering beliefs:
‘I’m an attractive man. Women love me, and they are waiting for me to approach them.’
So, if you’ve tried everything in the book and nothing helped, then try a Logical Level of Change analysis.
It will allow you to find out exactly at what level your root cause lies.
Only once you know that can you choose the right solution or intervention method. This approach will cure your approach anxiety quickly and permanently.
If you would like a FREE coaching call to help you beat your approach anxiety and get the woman of your dreams, click here.
Conclusion
Most advice on approach anxiety is DEAD WRONG. It’s based on outdated psychology.The “just do it, man” approach is probably the worst of all. It focuses on behavior to solve issues that reside on higher psychological levels.
PUA methods make approach anxiety worse because they teach complex methods. This brings the challenge-skills equilibrium out of balance.
If you’ve tried everything and still have approach anxiety, you didn’t figure out what level your problem stems from.
Use the Logical Levels of Change method to get rid of your approach anxiety fast and forever.
Voila! You just learned five brand-new ways to kill your approach anxiety – and they’re ways that work.
Now use this information. Take action.
Action-takers get results, not knowledge-gatherers.
Here’s an action you can take right now to cure your approach anxiety once and for all.
I made a killer bonus package for you called the New Approach Anxiety Package.
It's based on the latest psychology.
BONUS: The New Approach Anxiety Package consists of four resources:
1. Collapsing Anchors Technique: How to make approach anxiety trigger confidence and excitement – on autopilot.
2. The Victory Pose: Our best power-posing exercise to increase your testosterone by 40% and lower your cortisol by 40% - in just two minutes.
3. Think And Kill Your Approach Anxiety: The exact step-by-step method for thought loops that we use at Introverted Badass to coach our private coaching clients.
4. A SUPER-SECRET Bonus: For introverted men only.
What's your best tip to beat approach anxiety? Share your feedback in the comments section below.
