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By the worlds #1 dating coach for Introverted Men - Nick Neeson.
Here’s the thing…
Most of the dating advice you’re getting is DEAD WRONG for introverts.
We know because we coach introverted men from all sorts of backgrounds, and we test EVERYTHING.
We pride ourselves on getting our clients results within three weeks, in most cases.
And by results, I mean dates with beautiful women that won’t flake.
Here’s my disclaimer: I obviously can’t promise that you will get these results. Your results will vary due to a multitude of factors.
Over the course of 20+ years of coaching introverted men, I’ve experimented with many different methods.
In this article, I’m going to reveal the model we use today to get our coaching clients results within three weeks.
I tried teaching introverted men dating the way the so-called gurus told us to… it didn’t work.
So… I started breaking their rules. I started testing.
In the end, I developed my own system.
Here are six ways we broke the rules and revolutionized the dating industry with a system that works for introverted men. This is the system that made Introverted Badass the world’s foremost authority on dating advice for introverted men in no time.
Everybody is saying, ‘This company came out of nowhere!’ Perhaps.
The real story is that I’ve woken up every day for 21 years with a single, focused purpose to help introverted men realize their true potential in their love lives.
I believe that’s why, when I founded Introverted Badass, it quickly took over the dating industry and became the standard for introverted men.
So, without further ado, here are our most revolutionary, rule-breaking secrets to attract and date beautiful women, quickly, and without being someone you’re not.
Most of the dating advice you’re getting is DEAD WRONG for introverts.
We know because we coach introverted men from all sorts of backgrounds, and we test EVERYTHING.
We pride ourselves on getting our clients results within three weeks, in most cases.
And by results, I mean dates with beautiful women that won’t flake.
Here’s my disclaimer: I obviously can’t promise that you will get these results. Your results will vary due to a multitude of factors.
Over the course of 20+ years of coaching introverted men, I’ve experimented with many different methods.
In this article, I’m going to reveal the model we use today to get our coaching clients results within three weeks.
I tried teaching introverted men dating the way the so-called gurus told us to… it didn’t work.
So… I started breaking their rules. I started testing.
In the end, I developed my own system.
Here are six ways we broke the rules and revolutionized the dating industry with a system that works for introverted men. This is the system that made Introverted Badass the world’s foremost authority on dating advice for introverted men in no time.
Everybody is saying, ‘This company came out of nowhere!’ Perhaps.
The real story is that I’ve woken up every day for 21 years with a single, focused purpose to help introverted men realize their true potential in their love lives.
I believe that’s why, when I founded Introverted Badass, it quickly took over the dating industry and became the standard for introverted men.
So, without further ado, here are our most revolutionary, rule-breaking secrets to attract and date beautiful women, quickly, and without being someone you’re not.
1. We actually tell our clients NOT to approach women everywhere.
If you want to learn how to approach women in different locations, you’ll take forever to get just average. That’s because almost every situation is different. Small differences, big differences, but still differences.
There is this giant misunderstanding in the dating community that you need to be able to talk to women everywhere.
It’s an ideal that Hollywood has imprinted upon us.
We’ve all seen those movies where the main actor seems to get women EVERYWHERE he goes.
Nothing could be further from the truth.
Remember, that’s Hollywood. It’s the movies. It’s not reality.
The dating industry likes to reinforce this idea because it helps them sell more products.
The reality is quite different. Especially when you are learning.
If you want to learn how to approach women in different locations, you’ll take forever to get just average.
That’s because almost every situation is different. Small differences, big differences, but still differences.
Different venues require different approaches.
For example: the way you approach, converse, and ask women out at work is different than in the gym.
Approaching a woman who is sitting in a coffee shop is different than how you would do it in a bar at night. It’s even different if she’s a customer in a coffee shop or if she’s working there.
It’s different again if you approach a woman on the street while she’s walking. See what I’m getting at?
As soon as I started to focus my students on one single venue, I saw their learning curve shorten dramatically.
When you think about it, it makes sense. It’s the principle of focus. Focus on many things and you’ll take forever to maybe get average. Focus on one thing and you’ll be excellent in no time.
And when I started to study history’s greatest seducers, I found out that they didn’t match Hollywood’s ideal of a ladies’ man.
The world’s greatest womanizers had a focus. A repetitive system.
Take a look at Casanova’s system. He always focused on the same kind of situations and had a repetitive system.
Source: Wikipedia
Casanova had as focused, repetitive system.
Recently I was talking to a friend of mine, who we will call John. John is an introverted guy who’s quite talented at mixing music. He’s a well-known DJ around here.
A few days ago, we were catching up over a glass of fine whiskey and a big Cuban cigar. I don’t smoke, but it was more for the atmosphere.
We were having a nice, deep conversation about life. Eventually, the topic of women and dating came up.
Being a DJ, John has no problems dating women. In fact, John is kind of the eternal womanizer that doesn’t want to settle. As you probably guessed, his way of getting women is through his DJ activities.
Women are literally lining up in the club to be with him.
Here’s the interesting part. When we were talking about women, he told me this:
"Nick, I lost count, but in just the last three years I’ve probably been with more than 300 women. But, honestly, I could never go up to a woman and start a conversation outside of a club. I just wouldn’t know what to say her."
Can you imagine?
This is a guy that has been with more than 300 women just in the past three years. In his life, he has been with more than a thousand women.
And he wouldn’t know how walk up to a woman and start a conversation outside of a club!
Why is that?
The world's best naturals are one-trick ponies. They have a focused, repetitive system to get women.
It’s because he has a system that works for him. As a DJ, women are coming to him. They are seducing him because of his social status in the club.
Now, you might be thinking, “These are drunk party women. I don’t want that kind of women.”
And you’re right. I understand. They aren’t my type of women either. But that’s not the point.
The point is, John focused on a single kind of venue and became really good. He doesn’t need to be able to talk to women everywhere. His focus provides for more than enough women.
Also, I’m not advocating that you become a DJ. It’s just an example to show you the power of FOCUS.
You’ll need to figure out your own ideal venue.
Hint: choose a venue where you feel good and where your ideal type of women will hang out too.
2. We teach them fewer skills.
Once I started to teach my students fewer skills, their learning curve shortened again.
Dating skills and tactics are everywhere. Dating sites, dating gurus, dating apps – just to name the obvious ones – are lining up to sell you the latest tactics.
But the more skills and tactics you learn, the longer it takes you to get results. It’s the same problem as trying to approach women everywhere. It’s a focus problem.
You don’t need 20 different openers, and you don’t need 15 different ways to ask a woman out.
You only need one default thing to do for every step of your dating system.
Once I started to teach my students fewer skills, their learning curve shortened again.
The world’s best ladies’ men, usually, are one-trick ponies. They have one way to get women that works extremely well, and they just use it over and over again.
So, focus on just one default thing to do for every step of the dating process. You’ll learn much faster and you will feel lighter.
3. We focus on normal conversations.
The dating industry operates under the paradigm that you need to DO stuff to attract women.
But in reality, just the fact that you are a man is enough to attract women
Here’s another secret to build attraction like crazy: STOP trying so hard.
The dating industry operates under the paradigm that you need to DO stuff to attract women.
“Learn this super-special technique to attract women. Talk like this. Use this secret line. Use cocky, funny lines. Perform palm reading to make her attracted.”
The list goes on and on and on.
But in reality, just the fact that you are a man is enough to attract women.
You read that right. When you put a man and a woman together, attraction builds naturally.
In fact, it’s impossible for a man and a woman to be physically close together without having some natural sexual attraction moments, at least from time to time.
The problem is that we ruin the natural attraction that’s happening because we try too hard.
You see, when you focus on learning “special” techniques with the intention to make a woman attracted to you, you are assuming attraction is NOT there.
This makes you nervous, because you need to create something.
This nervousness will take away from the natural attraction that’s happening. She’ll feel that you are insecure. And if there’s one thing women despise, it’s insecure men.
Also, by focusing on special attraction techniques, she’ll feel you are trying to get a reaction out of her. She’ll feel like you are manipulating her. This again takes away from the natural attraction that happens.
In reality, a normal conversation with good eye contact is enough.
When you focus on learning “special” techniques with the intention to make a woman attracted to you, you are assuming attraction is NOT there. This makes you nervous, because you need to create something.
When I started to focus my students on assuming attraction is already there, their results skyrocketed.
They were less nervous, more confident, and didn’t come across as try-hard manipulators.
So, learn how to have normal conversations while assuming attraction is already there. Not only will you boost your results, but you’ll also get results much faster.
That’s because you won’t be spending your time learning unnecessary ballast that’s only slowing you down.
It’s like climbing a mountain with a backpack full of stones. You don’t need those stones. They only make it harder and slow you down.
But why do these special techniques sell so well, then? Why do you see them all over the internet? Why are they still there?
It’s the same reason weight loss pills are still selling like crazy.
We all know they don’t work. Still, people keep buying them.
"Yeah, but this time there’s a new ingredient. This pill is different. This one works."
People just want to believe in shortcuts.
In the case of dating it’s really twisted, because the shortcut is already there. Attraction is already there.
Most men are destroying it by using special techniques that try to create something that already exists. Ironic, isn’t it?
4. We don’t tell them to approach tons of women. In fact, we do the opposite.
I noticed that their success rate was lower with the women that they were not attracted to. So, I changed tactics and told them only to approach women that they felt really attracted to. This proved to be a good decision.
You’ve probably been told that approaching a ton of women is the best way to get a lot of dates, right?
Well, I’d heard the same thing, which is why this was the first thing I tested when I just started out coaching. I asked my students to approach as many women as possible, with a minimum of 20 women a day.
“How could this possibly fail?” I thought to myself. But for some reason, despite having more encounters than any other normal person, it just wasn’t cutting it for my students.
They became better, but the improvement wasn’t in proportion to the number of approaches they did.
The first thing I noticed is that, even though they got more dates, most of them weren’t happier. In fact, they felt drained because of their loss of social energy. It wasn’t sustainable.
Being an introvert myself, I should have known it. But back in the day, I thought this was the price they would have to pay to become better.
I was wrong!
When I started observing their approaches, I noticed something interesting.
I noticed that their success rate was lower with the women that they were not attracted to.
Most of the time, their interactions went better with the women they were really attracted to.
When they approached women that they really liked, they seemed to be more witty, more on point, and more on fire.
So, I changed tactics and told them only to approach women that they felt really attracted to.
As a result, they approached fewer women and got better results. This happened to be a good decision because they also felt less drained.
This was more motivating for them because their success rate was much higher and it aligned with their amount of social energy.
5. We teach them how to set up dates without building rapport.
To build rapport with a woman you just met, you’ll need around 15 to 20 minutes of conversation. I quickly realized that it took men a very long time to master a 20-minute conversation with a stranger. I found that short 2-3 minutes conversations have a much shorter learning curve, a higher success rate and a lower flake rate.
Maybe you’ve been told you need to build rapport with a woman to get a solid phone number or date that doesn’t flake.
Wrong.
From the very beginning of the dating community (way before the book The Game was even written), every method out there was talking about building rapport with women.
Here’s the problem with that.
To build rapport with a woman you just met, you’ll need around 15 to 20 minutes of conversation. And I’m not even talking about deep rapport here. I’m talking about a normal level of rapport.
I noticed my students were much more concerned with what to talk about after they approached women than the actual approach.
That’s right. Approach anxiety was caused much more by the conversation they needed to have than by the approach itself.
When you think about it, it’s actually quite logical.
It’s easier to go up to a woman you don’t know and just say ‘Hi’ than it is to have a 20-minute conversation with her.
There’s so much that can go wrong in a 15- to 20-minute conversation with a woman you just met. Especially when you are just starting out and learning.
On top of that, there is no investment yet. She doesn’t know you. That means that at the slightest little mistake she’ll excuse herself and move on.
I quickly realized that it took men a very long time to master a 20-minute conversation with a stranger. Not only did it take a long time, but they hardly got any dates in the process.
Again, this was because there were so many awkward moments and lulls in these long initial conversations.
So I changed my coaching tactic. I taught them a short, two- to three-minute conversation structure. My assumption was that short and sweet would be better than long and full of awkward moments.
It proved to be a good move.
A short three-minute conversation often creates a serendipity effect. Chances are extremely high that she’ll start wondering and thinking about you. “Who is this mysterious stranger? Why did I give my number to him so quickly? Maybe it was destiny?”
My students started getting numbers and dates extremely quickly.
They reported to me that this short interaction felt so much lighter, was easier to learn, and that there was just no time to make errors in such a small timeframe.
At first, I was expecting their dates to flake because they didn’t have the time to connect deeply enough with the women.
Man, was I wrong!
The flake rates were much lower than when they used longer initial interactions.
I believe the reasons for this to be multiple:
• By having a short, three-minute conversation, you are able to be excellent and be gone. It’s actually hard to make mistakes in just three minutes.
• The mysterious stranger effect. Women are drawn to mystery. We all know that. By having just a short conversation, she knows almost nothing about you. That means she’ll be thinking about you long after you’re gone. She’ll be investing time and thought in you. And the more a woman invests time and thought in you, the more she’ll want to see you.
• The serendipity effect. Women will start rationalizing their behavior. “Why did I give my number to him so quickly? I normally never do this. Maybe it was destiny?”
Today, this is still a cornerstone of what we teach at Introverted Badass. It’s one of the secrets that explain why our students get dates within one to three weeks.
If you want to shorten your learning curve and get dates fast, I urge you to focus on short initial conversations.
If you focus on just one type of venue, have a short conversation structure tailored to that venue, only approach the women you really feel attracted to, and assume attraction is already there, you’ll get results faster than any other approach out there.
We know because we test EVERYTHING and we keep testing new things. Nothing has ever beaten this approach in terms of speed and success rate.
6. We show them what NATURALLY works for introverts.
I modeled introverted naturals using NLP Modelling. I coded their “natural” behavior in a method that works for introverts.
I probably should have started with this one, but I figured it would be too obvious since Introverted Badass is exclusively focused on introverted men.
It would be like Coca-Cola saying they brew soft drinks! :-)
But there’s something I want you to know.
I truly saved the best for last.
As you know, 99.99% of dating advice is focused on extroverts. And when you read that advice, you can’t help but get the feeling that it’s just not for you.
On top of that, most dating advice has been made by men who were unsuccessful with women and found a way to change that.
They consciously learned techniques to better their situation.
When you learn their ways, you can’t help but feel the advice is somewhat UNNATURAL and WEIRD – even for extroverts.
That’s because it’s not based on natural behavior. It’s been fabricated by reading psychology textbooks.
A normal, cool guy wouldn’t behave like that. If you look back at that cool guy from school who got all the girls, he wouldn’t use all these strange techniques.
I did the opposite. I wanted to provide introverts with something that not only works for introverts, but I wanted it to be natural too.
I learned a special communication technique that’s called modeling.
Modeling is the process of recreating excellence.
Modeling enables you to clone experts.
Modeling is what Anthony Robbins does. He finds experts in a field, and models them.
For example, in his last book “Money: Master The Game”, he found 50 of the most famous and successful financial experts alive today and modeled their thinking and behavior.
He then gave people a clear, step-by-step, actionable plan based on their behavior and mental syntax.
He did the same for leadership. He found the best leaders and modeled their behavior so he could teach it to others.
If you doubt the power of modeling, here’s a quick example to show you how powerful this really is.
Anthony Robbins was contracted by the U.S. Army to improve the shooting performance of their soldiers by modeling their best shooters.
Here’s a screenshot of an article published in the American Shooting Journal explaining the details.
Modeling enables you to clone experts. It’s what Anthony Robbins used to improve the performance of US Army shooters. I used modelling to code the behaviors and mental syntax of introverted naturals. We now teach this syntax to introverts so they can maximize their success with women and dating.
You can access the article directly on their site here.
If the U.S. Army uses modeling to improve their shooters’ qualities, I think it’s safe to accept that modeling is EXTREMELY powerful.
As you can see, modeling is based on practical experiences, not on textbook knowledge. That’s what makes it so powerful.
I did the same thing for dating. I modeled what I call introverted naturals.
Introverted naturals are introverted men that are naturally good with women. These are men that never learned dating from a book or a course. They learned through experience.
I’ve chosen introverted naturals with a track record of MINIMUM 10 years in attracting and dating beautiful women.
I’ve coded their behaviors, beliefs, and value systems. Today, Introverted Badass uses these behavioral patterns to help our customers get results fast, without being unnatural or weird.
It works lightning-fast because it’s based on real-life experience, not on theory. It works because it is “natural” behavior from introverts for introverts.
I’d like to give you some more information on this, but this blog post is becoming very long (as usual). :-)
So instead of having you read more, I have something better.
I made an exclusive webinar, only for members of Team Introverted Badass.
It’s called “Five REAL Secrets to Becoming a Badass With Women”.
In that webinar, you’ll learn five of the best secrets that I’ve learned from modeling introverted naturals.
If you would like to learn proven, time-tested magical secrets to become a natural badass with women, register for this webinar right now. It’s ABSOLUTELY FREE.
Conclusion
Most dating advice you’re getting is DEAD wrong for introverts.Most of the dating advice out there teaches you to behave like an extrovert, and it’s based on textbook psychology. It feels weird and, at best, unnatural.
I tried coaching introverted men the way the so-called gurus told us to, but it didn’t work.
So, I started breaking the rules.
This article outlined six ways that we break the rules to get our clients results within three weeks.
The most important part is that we focus on teaching natural behaviors that I modeled from introverted naturals.
If you truly want to learn how to attract women and get dates quickly, you need get a handle on the basics of how introverted naturals think and behave.
I’ve put together an entire one-of-a-kind webinar on how to become an introverted natural.
This webinar is not designed to simply educate you on the ins and outs of attracting and getting dates with beautiful women…and it’s not just going to give you a few tips and techniques.
This webinar will help you to integrate the mindsets of naturals into your mind, personality, and dating approach…and make it a permanent part of your identity.
Check it out here: The Five Real Secrets To Becoming A Badass With Women.
What tactics are you using to accelerate your results? Share your experience in the comment section below.
