Needy Texting Mistakes Guys Make
7 Conversation Starters That Work Like A Charm
By the worlds #1 dating coach for Introverted Men - Nick Neeson.
Did you know there are only a few ways that men and women become a couple?
And that there are just a few ways that things end up for them?
When it comes to getting a girlfriend, most introverted men have no clue how to create attraction in women.
Just look at it… What do most introverted men do?
They try to either behave like the nicest guy in the world, confess their feelings, or “win them over” with gifts, dinners, flowers or even logical reasoning.
And what happens? Usually the woman finds him “nice” but it rarely ends in a physical, intimate relationship because there are no “sparks”. So she just wants him as a friend.
Being friend-zoned is a terrible experience for most introverted men. I mean, there’s nothing worse than having deep feelings for a woman and then finding out she doesn’t reciprocate those feelings.
If you’ve been reading your Team IB, you probably don’t have that problem anymore.
Trying to win women over with gifts, dinners or flowers doesnt work.
Team IB readers quickly learn how to create ATTRACTION.
They begin to talk to women in ways that trigger powerful emotional and physical responses that she can’t control. Sparks fly, and they quickly become a couple.
Once that happens, usually one of the following two things happen…
Either they stay together, or he gets dumped.
If that’s ever happened to you or if you want to vaccinate yourself against it EVER happening, you need to understand WHY it happens.
Usually this is because the man, at some point in the relationship, reverts back to acting like a softie.
He begins to act more and more needy and predictable. He texts her all the time. He continuously asks her what she’s doing. He tries to find out where she’s going and shows up there to surprise her.
Usually men get dumped because at some point in the relationship, they "revert back" to acting like a softie.
He continuously tells her he loves her and becomes more and more submissive.
Basically, he “slips back” into weak, wimpy behavior.
And soon she loses all those powerful emotional and physical responses called ATTRACTION.
And after that happens, SHE DISAPEARS.
Heartwarming, isn’t it?
Here’s the antidote.
1. Remember Why She Was Attracted To You In The First Place.
Most guys think that once they get the girl, the hard work is over.
They revert back to their old behaviors, and it doesn’t work.
For example…
She might have liked you because you dressed so cool and were confident, funny and decisive.
She might even have liked you because you had a bit of that player vibe.
If that’s what she liked about you, you need to keep doing it.
Now, I’m not advocating that you go sleep around with other women, but if she liked the player vibe, than you need to keep that vibe.
If she liked the way you dressed, then keep dressing that way.
If she liked your confidence and decisiveness, stay like that.
But most men do the complete opposite. They actually become the opposite of what she liked.
They stop dressing well.
Instead of being decisive, they become submissive. When the woman asks what they want to do, they say: “I don’t know, what do you want to do?” or “It doesn’t matter, baby, whatever you want to do.”
Having a relationship requires a bit of work.
If you read dating advice without developing yourself as person, you’ll only be able to get a woman. But you won’t be able to keep her.
It’s the same for the woman.
Imagine if a beautiful woman with a slim figure was your girlfriend. Imagine that’s what made you attracted to her, and then after being in relationship with her she didn’t take care of herself anymore and became lazy and fat!
Would you still feel attraction for her?
Of course you wouldn’t.
It’s the same for women.
As a man, you need to put some work into the relationship. You need to work on yourself.
Of course, if you read dating advice without developing yourself as person, you’ll only be able to get a woman. But you won’t be able to keep her.
Becoming good at dating and relationships is ultimately a journey of self-development, not a journey of pickup lines and routines.
If you learn how to “act” confident, you might get women attracted to you. But if you don’t truly BECOME confident, you’ll sooner or later drop your act. That’s when she will lose her attraction for you.
So if you want to be able to keep a quality woman, you have to BECOME the things that attracted her to you in the first place.
Here’s an exercise that I suggest you do in the beginning of your relationship:
Make a list of all the things that she likes about you.
Remember Why She Was Attracted To You In The First Place.
Keep that list with you and work on continuously improving those areas. Don’t just work on improving those traits, but make them part of who you are. Make it a way of life.
There is NO STOP BUTTON.
Stopping or standing still means moving backward.
You always need to be improving yourself, no matter what your age.
The Japanese call it KAIZEN.
It means “continuous and never-ending improvement”.
That’s what makes life worth living, and women will love you for it.
So do yourself a favor. Don’t think that after you’ve learned some dating tactics it’s done.
It’s just the beginning.
2. Remain A Challenge.
This one is crucial.
Once they’re in a relationship, most men hand over their balls.
Don’t.
She’ll lose her respect and attraction for you.
Here are some lethal DON’TS that you should avoid at all costs:
• Don’t put pictures of you and her all over your Facebook (especially not in the first six months to a year).
• Don’t be too romantic. A relationship is never a fifty-fifty thing. Let her show her emotions for you more than you do for her. She’s the woman. For women, it’s normal to do that.
No man will ever leave a woman for that. But if you reverse roles and start to show your emotions more than she does, you are on a bad road, my friend. I know it’s not politically correct to say this, but sadly it’s the truth.
• Don’t drop your friends and your activities just to be with her.
Now, I’m not saying that you have to go out with your friends every day and totally ignore her. Of course you will accommodate her and she will accommodate you.
The point I’m trying to make is not to go overboard with it. You need to keep some activities in your life that she CAN’T be part of. Give her the GIFT OF MISSING YOU.
3. Learn To Navigate Difficult Waters.
What do you do if you feel she’s becoming more distant? What do you do if you sense she’s losing interest?
First of all, let me tell you this: if you do what I talked about in points one and two above, it probably won’t happen.
But in the event something like this happens, here’s how to handle it.
When a woman becomes more distant, most men start to chase her more.
But it doesn’t work.
Just as chasing doesn’t work when you are trying to get her on a date or to become your girlfriend, it also doesn’t work later in the relationship.
So don’t do it.
What you should do instead is mimic her interest levels.
If she becomes less interested, you become less interested too.
You text her less often. You go out with your friends more. You do more stuff alone. You’re not so available anymore.
Basically, you wait until she comes back to the middle again. Once she does, you become more invested again.
That’s all there is to it. Nothing more.
It works because of the punishment-reward dynamic.
Miror her interest levels. If she becomes less interested, you become less interested too.
If you chase her, you are basically rewarding her for bad behavior. But if you become more distant too, you are redrawing your attention and it has an incredibly powerful effect.
It’s ingrained in our psychology since we were babies. In fact, it’s ingrained in our BIOLOGY.
If a baby doesn’t get attention, it cries. That’s because without attention it would die.
So, basically, you are using a very powerful psychological lever.
And look, if you think this is manipulative, it’s not.
It’s just human nature.
Why would you give her more attention and reward her if she doesn’t reciprocate?
It doesn’t make any sense.
Conclusion
Many introverted men change when they are in a relationship.
They give up their power and become more submissive.
They forget what it was that initially attracted her.
Keeping those traits that initially attracted her are key in keeping the spark in your relationship.
Of course, the three tips in this article are just the tip of the iceberg in getting and keeping a great girlfriend.
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What are your best tips to keeping a great girlfriend? Share your feedback in the comments section below.