Finding a date as an introvert can be a daunting, draining experience.


But it has nothing to do with you or your introversion.


It has everything to do with the dating advice you’re reading.


You see, most dating advice tries to turn introverts into gregarious social showboats…


Which does NOTHING…


But make you feel like there’s something inherently wrong with you…


And attract women that are incompatible…


Aka women that are into extroverts!


And once they find out you're, in fact, an introvert…


It’s game over.


So, you’re much better of learning to find dates as an introvert…


Cause that way…


Not only is the dating process less overwhelming…


But you’ll attract women that actually like YOU!


It ain’t rocket science…


Just common sense!


Alright, here are my 9 secret steps to finding dates by the bushels as an introverted man.

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Secret 1 – How To Find A Date By Knowing What Type Of Date You Want

When I ask this question…


Most introverted men tell me they prefer not to be too specific.


Cause they think it will limit their options.


But nothing is further from the truth.


Cause the dating pool is SOOO BIG…


Even you wanted to ONLY date blond bikini babes with a D-cup…


Who are precisely 5.1212121123 foot tall…


And love to read Quantum Mechanics books backward…


You couldn't possibly date all of them in 100 lifetimes!


Okay, maybe I exaggerated a tad…


But you get the point.


Don’t be afraid to be specific.


Cause defining what type of woman you want is a GOOD thing!


For multiple reasons…


First…


It will make it easier for you to find your ideal date …


Cause once you know what type of woman you want…


You’ll be able to figure out where you can find her…


You know…


What places does she go to?


And once you know that, you can go there too.


Pretty straightforward, right?


Second…


When you know what type of date you want…


It’ll be easier to recognize her when you meet her.


And third…


Later…


When you’re on a date with her…


You can use your criteria to make her more attracted to you…


How?


By asking her screening questions to see if she meets your criteria.


You see…


When women feel you are qualifying them…


They become more attracted to you.


That’s because they’ll assume you have lots of options.


And men that have options with women are seen as more attractive.


And that’s not just my opinion…


That’s proven by hard facts.


Studies after studies have shown that when women know other women are attracted to a man… they instantly perceive that man as more attractive.


So…


Before you do anything else…


Grab a pen and paper and start listing out everything you want from your date.


Once you’ve done that, it’s time for…

Secret 2 – How To Find A Date By Going To The Places Your Ideal Date Frequents

If you want to catch carp, you’re better of going to a carp pond.


If you want to catch trout, you’re better of going to a trout pond.


Makes sense, right?


Cause it’s more efficient.


In that same way…


If you frequent the venues where your ideal type hangs out…


It makes the date-getting process much more efficient!


Why?


Cause you’ll naturally connect on things with her.


For example.


Let’s say you’re into reading and you would like to date a woman that also likes to read…


Well…


Don't you think that meeting a woman with the same interests would make it easier to date her?


Of course, it would!


So let’s continue with the book interest example.


A great way to meet lots of women that are into books…


Would be to hang out at the bookstore or the library!


Cause these places are chockfull of women that like to read!


And you can even segment deeper if you want.


Let’s say you want women that like to read and are into healthy lifestyles.


Well… you might go to a bookstore at the health section.


Here’s another example.


If you like incredibly feminine women into yoga… one of the best things you can do is join a yoga class.


See how easy this is?

Secret 3 – How To Find A Date By Going To The Places That Leverage Your Strengths as Introvert

The second criterium you should use to choose the type of venue you’ll go to…


Is how good you feel in that venue.


You see, as an introvert, you probably don't like loud, chaotic bars and nightclubs…


You likely prefer calmer locations…


Like a calm introvert-friendly bar…


Or a volunteering event…


Or any venue where you can have a one-on-one conversation…


And that doesn’t require you to behave like a social showboat…


And make small talk with everyone that comes within five of you!


So…


If you naturally gravitate towards calmer locations…


Where you don’t have to go big on small talk…


And where you can have a deeper one-on-one conversation…


Doesn’t it make sense that you also go hunt for dates in these types of locations?


Of course, it does!


Cause you'll get a more significant return on your time investment…


Cause these venues play to your strengths.


Okay…


Let’s now talk about…

Secret 4 – How To Find A Date By Going To The Same Place Over And Over Again

Many reasons for that.


First… if you go to the same place repeatedly…


You’ll feel more comfortable and more confident.


And that makes a big difference.


Cause the number one thing women are attracted to is confidence.


So anything you can do to increase your confidence is going to pay off big time.


Second…


By going to the same venue over and over…


You can develop certain routines.


For example…


You can open the conversation in the same way again and again…


Also, the same types of subjects are going to come back more often…


All of which makes your conversations go easier.


Let’s continue with the example of meeting women at bookstores to illustrate this.


If you’re at a bookstore…


The topic of books is likely going to come up each time you talk to a woman…


But not just books…


Also, favorite authors…


And things related to books…


For example…


Talking about favorite books can quickly branch out into talking about favorite movies, movie directors, etc.


See what I mean?


The point is…


You’ll create repetitiveness in your interactions…


And repetitiveness makes you better and gets you results faster than anything else!

Secret 5 – How To Find A Date By Having A Conversation Starter Ready (Preferably Aligned With The Venue You Go To)

Some places lend themselves better for some types of conversation starters.


For example…


If you want to meet women in the park…


An excellent way to start a conversation is by using a direct approach.


This means you show your intentions right off the bat.


Usually, this is done by using a compliment.


The reason it works well in a setting like a park or the street…


Is because it triggers insane amounts of attraction from the get-go.


Why?


Cause it’s a very bold approach.


And women are attracted to bold men.


It's a high-risk/high reward strategy.


Meaning that when it works, it’s much easier to convert that approach into a date.


If it doesn't work, then she knows you were interested.


But…


In a location like the street or a park, that actually doesn’t matter…


Cause there are no social repercussions!


I mean…


It’s not like she’s in your social circle, and you'll have to see her again.


So who cares?


Now contrast it with this…


Let’s say you want to meet women in a venue that you often frequent, like the gym…


Well…


In that case, you’re better of using an indirect approach.


This simply means you’re not showing your intentions.


For example…


If you want to meet women at the gym bar…


You know, after your workout…


It might not be such a good idea to approach every woman with a compliment…


Cause you’ll quickly get a reputation…


And since it’s a venue that you frequent a lot (and where it’s NOT expected to hit on women) …


That can turn out harmful for you.


So in this type of environment, you’re much better of going indirect.


For example, you might ask her to pass you a napkin...


Then see if she’s friendly…


And if she's friendly, you can continue the conversation…


If she’s not friendly, then you don’t…


That way, no matter what happens…


You’re good.


Cause you didn’t hit on her.


You only asked her to pass you the napkin.


So, it's a very low-risk strategy.

Secret 6 – How To Find A Date By Having A Few Funny Guesses Ready To Transition After The Opener

Believe it or not…


Regardless of what most people think...


Starting a conversation is NOT the hardest part.


Keeping the conversation going


after the opener that’s the hardest part.


And most guys quickly run out of things to say…


Or…they start asking uninteresting questions, like…


“Where are you from? What do you do for a living? How did you get into that?”


Boring…


Cause every guy on the planet does the same.


Instead, you want to have a couple funny guesses ready…


For example…


You could “guess” where she’s from…


You could “guess” what she does for a living…


You could “guess” her origins.


Let’s say you approached an Azian woman…


Well…


You could say…


“I’m not sure if you’re from China or Japan… but I’m gonna guess Japan… cause you move like a Ninja!”


See what I mean?


It makes the conversation much more interesting than if you were to ask her, "where are you from?"


Btw, you could prepare funny guesses like that for blonds, brunettes, redheads, black women, etc.


That way, you don't have to come up with them on the spot.


These are good training wheels in the beginning.


Same for guessing her job.


You could have some funny guesses ready for that too!


And you don’t even need to have many…


You can have “one."


I have a client who always says …”You strike me as a lawyer”….


And it works every single time.


Cause either he’s right, and the woman is impressed…


Or he's wrong, and she'll ask, “Why did you think I’m a lawyer?”


Then he tells her why he thought that.


Guess what?


He has a funny reason for that too.


You see…


OVERTIME, you'll become more natural at this…


But in the beginning, you can simply use the same things over and over…


Nothing wrong with that…


And it works!

Secret 7 – How to Find A Date By Keeping Your Initial Conversations Short

It doesn’t take long to get a woman to go on a date with you.


Usually, about 3 minutes is enough.


Sometimes it’s a bit longer…


But you really don’t need to go over 10 minutes.


And that’s important for many reasons.


First…


A short conversation is easier to master.


There’s less time to make mistakes.


You see...


You don’t need much practice to have a PERFECT 3-minute conversation.


This means you'll be able to get dates much faster.


Cause imagine how much practice you’d need to have a 20-minute conversation with a woman you just met (without messing something up or having awkward silences)…


That would take you MONTHS of practice.

Secret 8 – How To Find A Date By Suggesting The Date Before Asking The Number

Most guys have two issues when it comes to getting a woman’s number.


First, they have a hard time getting the number.


Second, the numbers they get don’t lead to dates.


The root cause for that is that they ask for the number first.


If you ask for the number first, it's harder to get it…


And if you do get it, that number doesn’t mean much.


But if you agree on a date first…


Then getting the number is much easier…


Cause she already agreed to the date…


Plus…


You’ll have an easier time setting up the date over text later…


Cause, again…


SHE ALREADY AGREED!


Btw…


You can take it even further…


And arrange the exact time and place for the date, there and then…


So you don’t even have to set it up over text anymore.

Secret 9 – How To Find A Date By Exchanging Numbers

Once she agreed to go on a date with you…


Whether you nailed down an exact time and place…


Or she just agreed on the principle of meeting up for a date…


You can now simply swap contact details!


And it won’t be awkward…


Cause she already agreed on going out with you…


Which is a more considerable commitment than giving her digits.


The only thing you need to say is…


“Okay, let’s swap numbers in case something comes up.”


That’s it…


That’s all you have to do to get a date.

Conclusion And Final Thoughts On How To Find A Date

Finding a date as an introvert can feel like a daunting task.


But it has nothing to do with your introversion.


It has everything to do with the dating advice you’re reading.


Cause most dating advice is geared towards extroverts or tries to turn introverts into extroverts.


But if you follow the simple steps from this blog post, you'll be able to get a date pretty quickly.


And more importantly…


Without becoming someone you're not…


So you’ll actually get dates with women that like introverts!


Alrighty!


I hope you liked this article cause that's all I've got for ya today!


Oh…


I almost forgot…


I'm starting a new "Get Dates" one-on-one coaching program.


We start by building your confidence...


Show you how to approach women in different situations (including online and in-person)...


How to have free-flowing conversations after the opening line (using our Controlling Contingencies™ method)...


And how to set up dates as well as minimize flakes.


If you're more on the introverted side of the spectrum...you may be surprised to see what can happen :)


I have an amazing collection of "date getting formulas" for dozens of situations...


And I'd love to work with you.


Just shoot me an email at nickneeson@introvertedbadass.com


with "Get Dates" in the subject line...


And I'll get you all the details!

DOWNLOAD THE PDF VERSION OF THIS ARTICLE NOW

SO YOU CAN USE IT FOR FUTURE REFERENCES.