Dating Coach For Men: 6 Tips To Pick The Best Dating Coach For You
Dating Site Profile: 3 Secrets For Introverted Men
How To Tell A Girl To Be Your Girlfriend: 4 Secrets Most Men Will Never Know
By the worlds #1 dating coach for Introverted Men - Nick Neeson.
If you’re looking for a dating coach for men, this article will be the most important article you read this year.
Here’s why.
In the next few minutes…
You’re going to discover the big secret that dating coaches don’t want you to know…
Cause it would put them out of business, or at the very least hurt their bank account a lot!
So…
Here we go…
Here’s why.
In the next few minutes…
You’re going to discover the big secret that dating coaches don’t want you to know…
Cause it would put them out of business, or at the very least hurt their bank account a lot!
So…
Here we go…
What Dating Coaches For Men Don’t Want You To Know
What Dating Coaches For Men Don't Want You To Know
When I was a young kid…
I decided I wanted to figure out this woman and dating stuff.
But…
There were no coaches or even books on that subject back in the day.
I had to figure it out on my own.
So…
I watched movies with cool characters.
Like Tom Cruise in “Cocktail” and “Top Gun”…
Like Zack Morris from “Saved by The Bell”…
Like Ferris Bueller from “Ferris Bueller’s Day Off”…
I also surrounded myself with guys that were naturally good with women.
And copied how they behaved.
Sometimes I tried something, and it worked…
But most of the time, I failed.
And my journey was slow.
Now…
What’s even worse…
Is that…
ON TOP OF the poor results…
I felt DRAINED most of the time!
Cause unknowingly, I modeled extroverts…
While in fact, I'm an introvert.
You see…
All the guys I saw having success…
Were the loud… outgoing… alpha male types in the nightclub scene.
So…
I decided THAT’S what I needed to do, too!
But at some level, it felt wrong.
It felt like I was trying to become someone I’m not.
Plus…
As a bonus…
After a weekend clubbing…
Behaving like a gregarious alpha male…
I was drained from Monday till Thursday…
And I remember thinking there was something wrong with me!
Cause my friends didn’t have that problem.
Sure… they had hangovers.
But…
They didn’t need as much time to recharge after a weekend out.
Anyways…
In 1996 I discovered I had been modeling extroverts while I was an introvert.
There was a guy in town.
And he was always dating absolute stunners!
Yet…
I never saw him in any of the bars or nightclubs.
Now bear in mind, I grew up in the Tongeren…
A Tiny little city in Belgium…
I mean there were three bars and one nightclub.
(Btw, having a nightclub in such a small town was an exception, but we had one.)
So…
I knew pretty much everyone that went to those four venues.
Yet, I never saw this dude in any of them!
Also…
He wasn’t the loud, gregarious alpha male type AT ALL.
He was a quiet, reserved, introverted guy.
But…
He was dating the hottest women in the city!
That’s when I realized two things.
First…
I didn't need to go to loud bars and nightclubs to find hot chicks.
Second…
I didn’t have to behave like a social showboat either
Cause this guy was living proof of it!
Once I realized that…
I started to see more and more guys like him.
And I wondered how the heck I didn’t notice them before.
You know…
It's like when you buy a car… and then you see that type of car everywhere…
While before that you didn’t notice them… even though they were there all the time!
Or when you start a new hobby…
Like boxing, for example.
Suddenly you see boxing gloves everywhere.
And not only in shops…
But also on tv… on t-shirts… on gadgets… on coffee mugs… etc.
So why am I telling you this?
Cause after I started modeling introverts…
Within a few months… my results accelerated!
I dated the hottest women in town!
I’m talking about real total tens.
Models, dancers, singers, etc.
And that’s when I realized…
The root cause…
Why it took me such a long time to become good with women and dating…
Was because I modeled the wrong people!
And the price I had to pay for this was HUGE!
First of all…
I became someone I'm not… which felt horrible cause authenticity is an essential value for me.
Second…
Because I was behaving like an extrovert…
You know…
Being the life of the party…
Going to noisy, crowded bars and nightclubs…
Talking to everyone that came within five feet of me all day long….
It exhausted me!
Third…
I attracted the wrong type of women.
Women that liked extroverts… while I was… an introvert!
It’s the same as owning a steakhouse and trying to round up a bunch of vegans to come to your restaurant.
You have to put in a LOT of effort to get them there.
And even if you succeed in getting them there ONCE…
Most of them won’t come back for more.
So…
This approach wasted A LOT of my time.
AND…
It took a HUGE effort to get MEDIOCRE results.
My point?
If you want to become good with women and dating FAST…
And without exhausting yourself or becoming someone you're not…
The first thing you need to check is…
If you’re an introvert or an extrovert.
Cause…
If you’re an introvert and you try to model extroverts…
Your results will be poor or mediocre at best!
Plus…
You’ll feel like you’re betraying yourself.
And as icing on the cake…
You’ll attract women that are not into you.
Aka… women that are into extroverts.
And as soon as they find out you’re an introvert, they’ll dump you.
So…
How do you know you’re an introvert or an extrovert?
Well…
Here's a checklist:
· You prefer deeper conversations over superficial small talk
· You choose two or three good friends over a large social circle
· You prefer diner or a night out with two or three people over huge chaotic parties packed with thousands
· You like time on your own to recharge yourself
· You think before you speak
· You're a good listener, and you listen more than you speak
· You don’t like talking about yourself (especially not about your feelings)
· You are good at introspecting
If you recognize yourself in ONE of the above bullets, you’re most likely an introvert.
Now…
Why do dating coaches for men don’t want you to know this?
(Btw, it’s not just dating coaches for men but dating coaches in general that don’t want you to know this.)
Well…
The answer is simple!
Because most of them try to turn introverts into extroverts.
As if introversion is some kind of a disease that needs to be cured!
And if people would find out this approach doesn’t work…
They would be out of business… or lose at least half of their clients.
Cause most guys who are looking for dating advice are more on the introverted side of the spectrum.
Not all… but most are.
So…
If you’re an introvert…
And you’re looking for a dating coach for men…
There are a few things you need to check first!
In fact…
There are 6 things you should check before hiring a dating coach.
And in just a few seconds, I'll tell you what they are.
But first…
A Dating Coach For Men, Do You Even Need One?
Do You Need A Dating Coach?
I remember…
Each time I bought a business course or a marketing course…
I would always learn a lot of exciting things!
But…
Almost every time I implemented the lessons…
There would always be some small detail…
Some twist…
Something slightly different in my situation that wasn't covered in the course!
The problem was that…
This tiny difference in my situation…
Made it impossible to put it in place.
Imagine a piece of a puzzle that “almost” fits, but not completely…
Well…
Even though it’s a “tiny” misfit…
You can’t complete the puzzle.
The devil is in the details.
So…
I would break my head trying to find out the best way to adapt it to my specific situation…
And each time, it cost me a lot of damnits... and a tremendous amount of time to figure things out.
Until…
I decided to hire a coach!
And when I had a call with my coach…
Things that had me banging my head against the wall for sometimes weeks…
I asked my coach about it…
And he told me in minutes, sometimes seconds, how I needed to adapt it to my specific situation!
Could I eventually figure it out myself?
Probably…
But as I said…
It would cost me ten times more time and money to do it on my own.
Plus, a lot of headaches and inconveniences.
Here’s my point.
Coaching is all about "speed" and "convenience."
If you want results fast, and you want them with the least amount of "damnits,"…
Then hiring a coach is the way to go.
Here are the questions I ask myself to decide if I need coaching?
1) Do I have a problem that I want to solve?
2) Do I want the result fast and with as little inconvenience as possible?
3) Can I afford the coaching?
If the answer to all three questions is yes, I’ll hire a coach.
So in your case, you might ask yourself:
1) Is my dating life an issue that I want to solve? If the answer is yes, then go to question number two.
2) Do I want to fast-track my success with women and dating and with the least amount of effort possible? If the answer is yes, go to question number three.
3) Do I have the financial means to afford a dating coach? If yes, do it.
Notice all three questions need to have a “yes” answer.
If even one of the answers is "no," don't hire a dating coach.
If you don't have an issue, well, then don't try and solve it.
If you're OK investing a lot of time and energy in figuring it out yourself, then a coach is overkill.
And obviously, if you don’t have the financial resources to get a coach…
You shouldn’t do it!
But if you said yes to all three…
Hiring a coach is the smartest thing you can do.
Now…
Once you decide to hire a coach, the next question you want to answer is…
Dating Coach, Relationship Coach, or Matchmaker?
Dating Coach, Relationship Coach, or Matchmaker?
You see… these are three different animals.
A dating coach specializes in solving “dating” issues.
A relationship coach specializes in solving “relationship” issues.
And a matchmaker specializes in finding a woman that is a good “match” for you.
So…
What does that mean?
Well…
Imagine having a toolbox with a hammer, a screwdriver, and a wrench.
All three are tools to fix "things."
But they are different.
A Hammer is for nails.
A screwdriver is for screws.
And a wrench is for gripping things.
In that same way…
A dating coach, relationship coach, and matchmaker are tools to improve your love life.
And you need to use the right tool for the right job.
Using a relationship coach or a matchmaker to solve dating skill issues... is like using a screwdriver on a nail.
So…
How do you know if you need a dating coach versus a relationship coach?
Simple!
Ask yourself the following question:
Is my issue in one of the following areas:
· Getting dates
· Getting physically intimate with those dates
· Turning a casual relationship into a committed relationship
If your problem is in one of these three areas… you need a dating coach!
If not…
It means you’re already in a committed relationship... meaning, you're already living together for a long while.
And if that's the case, you need a relationship coach.
Pretty easy to grasp, right?
Yet…
Many guys make the mistake of learning from relationship coaches... when they need a dating coach…
I can't tell you how many men reached out to us for dating advice... who read the book "Men Are From Mars, Women From Venus."
This book is great once you’re in a relationship.
But…
It does nothing to help you in the dating process.
In fact, it's often detrimental to the dating process.
Luckily you now know the difference and you won’t make that mistake! :-)
Now…
What about a matchmaker?
As I said… the only job of a matchmaker is to find you a date that has the potential to be a good “match” for you – long term.
But… if you haven’t mastered the dating process…
It won’t help!
Cause…
No matter how good a woman is a match for you…
If you’re making mistakes in the dating process… it won’t lead to anything!
It’s like going to a car dealership to get the perfect car for you without having a driver’s license.
No matter how good that car is a match for you, you won’t be able to drive it.
Alright…
Assuming you concluded you need a dating coach…
The question then becomes…
What is a good dating coach for men?
How do I make sure I pick the right one?
And as I said…
There are 6 things you should check before hiring a dating coach for men.
Dating Coach For Men – Criterium 1: The One Criterium To Rule Them All
Dating Coach For Men – Criterium 1: The One Criterium To Rule Them All
Recently I watched an interview with Jordan Peterson…
The world-renowned professor of psychology... clinical psychologist... YouTube personality...
And author of the best-seller “Rules For Life” that sold over five million copies worldwide!
And he talked about the five most important personality traits in life.
We call them THE BIG FIVE…
Cause contrary to other personality traits… these are vital traits.
One of those traits… he explained… was introversion versus extroversion.
And the most important thing he had to say about this…
Is that…
It’s CRU-CI-AL…
To know… whether you’re an introvert or an extrovert.
Because…
If you get this wrong…
It will have a brutal impact on the quality of your life.
He also said…
That it's essential for a long-term relationship to succeed…
That both partners have that same personality trait.
Meaning…
Extroverts that date extroverts and introverts that date introverts... have a much bigger chance at a happy relationship.
Then he proceeded to say…
That being in a relationship with someone that’s the opposite of you…
WILL bring a lot of problems in the relationship.
Cause…
The extrovert will always push the introvert to socialize more... and with bigger and bigger groups of people.
While the introvert prefers to either…
Stay at home or go out for a nice diner, the two of them.
So…
What does this have to do with picking a dating coach?
Well…
If you are an introverted man… the worst thing you can do is hire a dating coach that is an extrovert.
Why?
Cause he will try to turn you into an extrovert, too.
Which means… you’re trying to change a fundamental part of who you are.
A part that you CAN’T change.
Cause introversion has nothing to do with being shy.
But it has everything to do with “where” you get your energy from.
You see, introverts get their energy from being on their own…
Or by having a deep conversation with one or two close friends.
While extroverts... get their energy from having superficial small talk with BIG groups of people.
Notice I said BIG groups of people and not "people."
Cause both the introvert and the extrovert like people… only in other quantities.
So…
If you are an introverted man…
And you choose a dating coach that tries to turn you into an extrovert…
You’ll behave like someone you’re not…
Which is only going to drain you!
Plus…
It attracts women that fall for extroverts.
And guess what happens when they later find out you’re an introvert?
Yep…
They’ll dump your ass.
And even if they don’t… you still lose!
Cause you won’t have a happy relationship.
So…
The first question you want to answer… BEFORE you pick a dating coach…
Is…
Are you an extrovert or an introvert?
It’s the one criterium to rule them all!
Cause there’s nothing more important than a fit on that personality trait!
So…
If you’re an introvert…
Then pick a dating coach that focuses only on introverts!
If you’re an extrovert…
Pick one that focuses only on extroverts.
The latter won't be a problem.
Cause 99% of all dating coaches teach extrovert-centric dating advice.
But…
This also means…
Introverts have a much harder time finding a good dating coach .
Dating Coach For Men – Criterium 2: This Can Make Your Penis Fall Off
Dating Coach For Men – Criterium 2: This Might Make Your Penis Fall Off
A long time ago, I read a great book about success from Tom Hopkins.
Now…
Back in the day… Tom was the world’s number one sales trainer.
He even wrote the book “Selling for Dummies."
But…
He also wrote books about success and how to be successful in life.
I forgot the title… but it doesn’t matter.
What matters is this.
He had this great quote in his book.
"People can't give you what they don't have."
He explained that most people make a tremendous mistake in life.
Which is to ask people for things they don’t have.
He gave an example of how most people that want to become successful at something…
Let's say build a business, for example…
Will ask their parents for advice.
Cause they trust them.
And they know they want nothing but the best for them.
But…
Tom argued that… unless your parents built a business themselves…
It's a bad idea to ask them for advice on "this topic."
Cause even though they have the best intention for you…
They can’t give you what they don’t have.
He said…
If your parents have a 9 to 5 job... they don't know how to build a business.
And the advice they give you won’t help you.
And most often will hurt you!
Here’s why I’m telling you this.
I’ve seen men splash BIG cash on dating coaches who have little practical experience.
Like therapists… or dating coaches who are unsuccessful at dating.
Bear in mind…
Many guys want to be a dating coach because they think it will make them more attractive to the ladies.
I recently was on a webinar of one of our competitors (yes, I spy on them)…
And they were looking to hire new dating coaches for their company.
So…
They did a webinar to recruit new dating coaches… which they then train in their method.
And if I got a nickel for every guy that asked this question…
"Should I first become successful with women myself before I can apply to become a dating coach?"
Seriously...
A lot of dating coaches for men out there…
Are still learning it themselves.
Now…
The pinnacle of this wacko idea…
Of teaching people that which you don’t have yourself is…
Female dating coaches teaching men how to date!
Which gives the worse results possible.
But…
Some guys fall for their pitch… which is…
“We’re women, so we know better what women want. You should let us teach you how to attract women”
It sounds good.
But...
It’s false logic.
It’s like saying…
I fit in my suit. My suit fits in my suitcase. So, I fit in my suitcase.
See the flawed thinking?
So…
Let’s debunk this sucker before it makes your penis fall off.
Let’s have a look at the “structure” of this false logic.
And then use the same “structure” in a “different context” to expose the fallacious logic behind it.
Alright, here’s the original structure:
"We are women, so we know better what women want. You should let us teach you how to attract women."
Now imagine saying to Steven Spielberg…
“We are movie lovers, so we know better what movie lovers want. You should let us teach you how to make a movie.”
Or how bout this.
“We are formula one race fans, so we know better what formula one race fans want. You should let us teach you how to win the Grand Prix."
Or this one?
"We are UFC fans, so we know better what UFC fans want. You should let us teach you how to kick Connor Mc Gregor's butt."
Ridiculous, isn’t it?
Just because you know what you want out of something... doesn’t make you an expert at the mechanics of doing that something.
There's a reason why F1 champions get coaching from other people who competed in F1 racing.
There's a reason why UFC champs get coaching from other people who kicked butt.
There’s a reason why Geishas get coached by other Geishas and not by men (who also know better what they want in a woman).
The immoral of the story?
As Tom Hopkins said…
People can’t give you what they don’t have.
You can’t learn the masculine from the feminine.
Like you can’t learn the feminine from the masculine.
If you chose to learn the masculine from the feminine…
You'll behave like a pussy at worst or a masculine woman at best.
Never like a man.
But... hey... these days… with all that gender stuff happening... it doesn't matter if you have a penis anyways... right?
So who cares… lol
Dating Coach For Men – Criterium 3: When All You Have Is Hammer, Everything Looks Like A Nail
Dating Coach For Men – Criterium 3: When All You Have Is Hammer, Everything Looks Like A Nail
Back in the early days (decades ago)…
I worried about whether people would see the value in what I was doing.
You see…
Some of the guys I coached got TREMENDOUS success.
While others got less success.
Now…
How was that possible?
They were ALL introverts!
Yet…
Sometimes it worked great... and sometimes it didn’t work as well.
And it wasn’t their looks, height, age, or money.
Cause I saw guys who were uglier... shorter... older... and had less money CRUSH IT…
While some taller... better-looking... younger guys only got mild successes.
To be clear…
I was pretty happy with their results…
Cause the number of guys that were successful... FAR outweighed the less successful ones.
And even the less successful ones still got OK results.
And most importantly…
They did it without becoming someone they were not and without draining themselves…
Which was the whole point!
So…
Overall... the feedback was positive... which was enough for me to keep going.
And so I did.
I also kept modeling more and more introverted badasses... (introverts that were great with women).
And as I modeled more and different introverted womanizers…
I had a wider variety of techniques to share.
And I noticed that some clients preferred some tactics... while other clients preferred other ones.
Some told me... "this feels more like me."
Others told me... "that feels more like me."
And that’s when the lightbulb went of.
I realized that not EVERY introvert was the same.
(Duh…I know, genius, hum?)
Until then…
I thought that since “I” was an introvert... the strategies that worked for ME would work for ALL introverts.
And that was a BIG mistake!
Cause there are different types of introverts.
Different personalities... strengths... preferences, etc.
The point?
Well…
When you pick a dating coach…
Make sure to pick one that doesn’t only teach his own style.
Instead…
Pick one that teaches “different styles."
So that you can learn strategies... tactics... and techniques that fit YOU.
It’s like this proverb I read many moons ago.
It said…
When all you have is a hammer, everything looks like a nail.
And since most dating coaches have developed their own style of dating... (which they preach like gospel)…
They treat every client like they are a nail!
But YOU might NOT be a nail.
Maybe you’re a screw… and you need a screwdriver.
Or maybe you’re more like a pipe that needs fixing, and you need a wrench for that.
Are you getting this?
Yes?
Cool.
So again…
Make sure to choose a dating coach that can teach you a variety of styles.
Cause if you don’t feel good with their particular style… you won’t stick with it. Which means you won’t get results.
And that’s NOT the purpose.
Dating Coach For Men – Criterium 4: The Difference That Makes The Difference
Dating Coach For Men – Criterium 4: The Difference That Makes The Difference
Have you heard of Tony Robbins?
Tony is the world’s number one peak performance coach.
He coached some of the highest-profile people on the planet.
Like…
· Bill Clinton
· Oprah Winfrey
· Leonardo DiCaprio
· Mike Tyson
· Anthony Hopkins
· Pamela Anderson
· Princess Diana
· Serena Williams
· Margaret Thatcher
· President Gorbatsjov
· Nelson Mandela
· President Mitterand
… EVEN Mother Teresa!
Now…
These people don’t need average!
They need to perform at their peak.
Cause they are at the top in their field and the competition is fierce.
So they can only afford to hire the best of the best!
That's how good Tony is!
Needless to say… when I discovered Tony’s resume of clients…
I was impressed!
But…
NOTHING….
BLEW me away more than when I heard…
How Tony improved the shooting performance of the Army.
Here’s the story.
Tony built a name for himself at being the best at a process, called…
Modeling!
Modeling is a part of NLP.
NLP is an approach to communication… personal development… and psychotherapy.
Richard Bandler and John Grinder created it in California in the 1970s.
The modeling part of NLP is a psychological method that enables you to CLONE experts.
And, yes… the word “cloning” is appropriate!
Literally…
It enables you to DUPLICATE someone’s superpower… in yourself or others.
And it’s the method that Tony Robbins uses to coach top athletes... A-list movie stars… and presidents of countries.
So…
Word got out that Tony was the absolute master of Modeling.
And then…
The Army hired him to improve the shooting skills of their new recruits.
So…
Tony came in... and he applied the science of Modeling to the top shooters (the instructors).
And he realized that these top instructors were very good at shooting.
But…
There were things they did… which THEY didn’t even know about.
Now bear in mind…
These guys were not only top shooters…
They were also “shooting instructors."
So…
They knew how to shoot...
And they also knew how to teach it to others.
Yet…
Through the meticulous modeling process…
Tony discovered different things they did… which even they didn’t know they did!
And as a consequence... they didn’t teach it to the new recruits.
One of these things had to do with the “internal performance” of shooting.
You see…
The shooting instructors knew a lot about external performance.
You know… hold your gun like this… breath like that… etc.
But one of the things that Tony noticed was…
Whenever the top shooters took a shot…
Right before they took it…
They mentally “zoomed in” on the target.
Meaning…
In their mind... they brought the target closer.
You know…
Like a zoom function on a camera.
Well…
They did that zooming “in their mind."
They "visualized" zooming in on the target.
And that was something they were not even aware of!
But Tony noticed it… by applying the NLP Modeling Method.
And he started teaching this “mental zoom technique” to the new recruits.
The results?
100% of new recruits qualified for their pistol shoot exams.
That never happened before.
EVER!
And it gets even better.
Not only did 100% of new recruits qualify for their exams…
But…
They did it in HALF the training time.
And all that…
My friend… is because of something that we call…
“The difference that makes the difference.”
Here’s what I mean.
When experts teach other people their expertise (even professional instructors)…
They usually don’t teach the difference that makes the difference.
Cause its things they do without being aware they're doing it!
And if they're aware of doing it… they don't realize it's the difference that makes the difference.
So…
They don’t teach it.
Or they say it as a "btw statement"... or an afterthought.
When I learned about that…
I had a huge "aha" moment…
Which was…
If I wanted to become badass with women and dating…
Learning from others that were already successful with women… wasn’t enough!
Cause they were unconsciously competent.
They didn’t know the difference that made the difference.
They just did things that worked.
But...
They didn’t know the “exact formula."
Which made total sense to me.
It explained why the things they told me to do… didn’t work!
Cause they didn’t teach me the difference that made the difference.
And that’s when I realized…
The ONLY way to get that out of them is to learn NLP Modeling!
And that’s what I did.
I went back to school and studied NLP and Modeling for more than two years.
And only when I used NLP Modeling…
I discovered…
The difference that made the difference in their strategies.
And that’s when my dating life took off!
I mean…
It accelerated like CRAZY…
A couple of months after I “properly” modeled these introverted badasses…
I was “consistently” dating the hottest women in town.
Models, dancers, singers, beauty pageant contestants, etc.
So…
If you want to speed up your success with the ladies…
Make sure you pick a dating coach that learned NLP Modeling.
Don't ask them if they "modeled" other guys that are good with women.
Cause they’ll say yes.
Ask them if they applied a specific "modeling method” …
And listen if they “spontaneously” say they use NLP Modeling!
And if they say they do… ask them a little trick question.
Ask them in which school they learned NLP Modeling.
Ask them how many years they went to NLP school.
(The answer you're looking for is two years least. Cause you don't learn Modeling in the first year. Only the second year.)
Alright!
Let’s have a look at the next one!
Dating Coach For Men – Criterium 5: The PEN model
Dating Coach For Men – Criterium 5: The PEN model
There was a time when I obsessed over personality types.
I studied ever single one I could find.
MBTI.
DISK.
The Enneagram.
And so on and so forth.
But…
None of them REALLY applied to dating.
For many reasons.
First…
They are too complex to apply to dating.
Take MBTI, for example.
Well…
It’s very interesting to know for yourself which type YOU are!
But… in a dating context…
If you try to apply that to the woman sitting in front of you…
It’s impossible to analyze her on the spot.
I mean…
MBTI has 16 different personality types.
SIXTEEN!
It’s inconceivable to find that out on a date.
The only way to know is…
If she takes a test beforehand and sends you the results.
Second…
Even if you “do” know her MBTI type…
It has zero impact on how you date her.
It does have an impact on your communication style…
But not on your dating style.
Also...
There are no studies that prove it can improve the dating process.
Same for all the others.
But…
Back in the day…
(When I obsessed over studying personality type indicators...)
One day…
I discovered a model called… the PEN model.
And it's effortless.
It only has three types.
P stands for psychotic.
E stands for extrovert.
And N stands for neurotic.
And women fall in one of these three categories.
Now…
What’s interesting about it is that…
Studies have shown that these three types of women prefer to date three specific types of men.
The psychotic wants a bad boy.
The extrovert wants a leader.
The neurotic wants a nice guy.
Now…
Before you say that nice guys finish last…
That’s a false concept.
Non-assertive guys finish last.
Not nice guys.
For a neurotic... you can’t be too nice.
But...
You can’t be a "pushover".
See the difference?
Anyways...
I'm not going to detail the three types… cause that’s beyond the scope of this article.
(The only reason I expanded on the nice guy... is because everyone sais he finishes last. But it's BS. Again… non-assertive guys finish last. And there's a massive difference between a nice guy and a non-assertive guy)
Now…
Another exciting thing this study concluded is that…
All three types of women will also date a provider (as their second choice).
A provider is a man that… well… provides for women.
And women date them for that specific reason.
Btw... that’s NOT what you want to be.
Cause the moment a woman gets the chance to date her preferred type... (bad boy, leader, or assertive nice guy)… the provider is out.
Anyways…
Why am I telling you this?
Dude…
A LOT OF REASONS!
Where do I even start?
OK.
So first of all…
Most dating coaches don’t have a clue about this.
And as I told you in criterium 3…
The majority teach dating “tactics" that work for “them."
Plus…
On top of that…
They’ll also try to turn you into “their personality type."
For example…
A dating coach that is a bad boy will try to turn you into a bad boy too.
But…
You might not want psychotic women.
You might prefer the neurotic or the extrovert type.
And guess what?
In that case… the bad boy style WON’T work.
Or…
You might be a nice guy.
And if you try to turn yourself into a bad boy…
You’re completely changing who you are.
Not good!
Over the last 27+ years of coaching introverts on their dating life…
I’ve come to the conclusion that it’s crucial to understand the PEN model.
First…
For casual dating…
You must identify the type she is and then show some behavior of the kind she's looking for.
Notice I said “show some behavior,” not… “become that person."
So…
For example…
If she's a psychotic… you want to use some bad-boy behavior.
And that's OK!
Why?
Cause we’re talking about "casual dating."
Which means…
You’re not making her your long-term girlfriend.
Cause if you do that… the relationship won't last… unless you “become” a bad boy.
Which brings me to the second reason you want to learn the PEN model.
And that’s to find your dream woman that you want to date long-term or build a family with.
In that case…
It's essential to understand who YOU are…
And select a woman that matches YOUR style.
So…
If you’re more of the nice guy…
Then your ideal woman for a long-term relationship is a neurotic.
Cause she will like you for who you are!
If you’re more of a leader… you’re best choice is an extrovert!
Cause she's attracted to a leader.
And if you're more of a bad boy... your best pic is a psychotic.
See what I mean?
It’s funny…
There’s a female dating coach for introverted men… who is actually an extrovert.
I know cause she mentioned her MBTI type on her Facebook page.
But that's not the most funny part.
The funniest par tis...
She coaches introverts to become what she calls "benevolent leaders".
Why is this funny, you might ask?
Well…
Cause she’s projecting her own preference as an extroverted woman!
And without realizing it…
She tries to turn introverts into the leader type…
Cause that’s what SHE finds attractive in a man!
And I can tell you this.
The program costs $7000.
And it’s a CATASTROPHE for introverted men (even though it’s focused on them)!
Cause they learn to attract incompatible women (see criterium 1)
Now…
Truth be told…
There is a time and a place to teach introverts to be the leader type.
(In fact, we have a similar program, but more in-depth).
Here’s when to do it.
First of all…
For casual dating…
Learning how to have leader behavior is a good thing.
In fact... learning to be flexible in all three styles (nice guy, leader and bad boy)... is what will get you the most success in casual dating.
Cause you’ll be able to attract different types of women.
Second...
For long-term relationships.
Some introverts…
I call them the “social introverts”…
Meaning… they love contact with lots of people…
But they need time on their own to recharge between those contacts...
For that specific type of introvert… it's OK to develop the leader side.
Cause he likes socializing a lot...
And wants a girlfriend that's also a social introvert... or an extrovert.
(The social introvert is the only introvert that is compatible with an extrovert.)
But…
And this is a BIG BUT…
You need to be very aware of what you’re doing.
And this dating coach is presenting the leader type as the ideal man.
Which, of course… prompts all types of introverts to try to become that man.
And it’s ironic…
Cause...
Even though she focuses on introverts… she’s turning most of them into someone they're not.
Plus…
Without realizing it... she teaches them to attract incompatible women.
And even though she has other programs...
That are NOT "purely" focused on developing her clients as the leader type…
Every single other program she sells… pushes men in that same direction!
Again…
All because she’s projecting her own preferences as an extrovert!
Btw…
I’m not dissing her… (I’m also not going to name her), cause she’s a nice lady… and I’m sure she means good.
So… nothing against her.
But…
Nice lady or no nice lady…
That’s not what matters to YOU.
What matters to YOU is that…
When you chose a dating coach for men…
YOU NEED TO BE AWARE OF THIS… before you spend vast amounts of money!
Only to end up becoming someone you’re not…
and attracting women that are NOT compatible with you!
So…
When you select a dating coach… be sure to ask them this question:
“Do you use personality type indicators in your program? And if so, which one?”
DON'T ask for the PEN model.
Cause they’ll google it and say that they use it.
Instead…
Keep your question broad.
Ask “which type” of personality type model they use.
And if they don’t reply with the PEN model, spontaneously…
Disqualify them as fast as possible!
Alright!
Let’s hop on over to the next one!
Dating Coach For Men – Criterium 6: The Secret Sauce
Dating Coach For Men – Criterium 6: The Secret Sauce
In the last criterium, we talked about the PEN model…
But…
There’s another personality type indicator…
Just as easy and as powerful as the PEN model.
And even more effective to boost your success with women…
Both for casual dating as for long-term dating!
However…
I’m only revealing that to our coaching clients.
Here’s why.
This article is available on the web.
Which means our competitors will find it.
And try to copy us.
Thus…
I’m keeping the best and most secret sauce for people that actually apply to become coaching clients!
Btw…
If you follow the selection tips from this post... you'll make an excellent choice… even without this last criterium!
BUT…
If you want to learn the cream of the crop…
We only talk about it beyond our application wall.
But don’t worry…
If you'd like to apply for a free consultation…
To see if we’re mutually a good match to work on your dating life…
It’s very easy!
The only thing you need to do is shoot me a message at nickneeson@introvertedbadass.com.
Put “One-on-one” in the subject line.
Tell me a bit about yourself.
And I’ll get you all the details.
Conclusion And Final Thoughts On Picking A Dating Coach For Men
Conclusion And Final Thoughts On Picking A Dating Coach For Men
Picking a dating coach for men… is one of the most important decisions you’ll ever make in your life.
Cause the urge to become good with women and dating comes from our deepest need – reproduction.
The need to reproduce is the most profound need we have.
It’s even more profound than surviving.
That’s why you see people giving their lives for their offspring.
So…
It’s crucial to pick the right dating coach for you.
If you use the 6 criteria that I presented in this article…
You’re virtually guaranteed to make the right choice.
Btw…
If you'd like to apply for a free consultation…
To see if we’re mutually a good match to work on your dating life…
It’s very easy!
The only thing you need to do is shoot me a message at nickneeson@introvertedbadass.com.
Put “One-on-one” in the subject line.
Tell me a bit about yourself.
And I’ll get you all the details.
OK…
I got to get to work!
Hope you enjoyed this article.
Have a great day!
Nick
What are you looking for in a dating coach? Share your opinion in the comments section below!
