How To Tell A Girl To Be Your Girlfriend: 4 Secrets Most Men Will Never Know
Dating Coach For Men: 6 Tips To Pick The Best Dating Coach For You
How To Find A Girlfriend Online: 10-Step Formula For Introverted Men
By the worlds #1 dating coach for Introverted Men - Nick Neeson.
Here’s how to tell a girl to be your girlfriend.
And it’s not what you think.
So…
Buckle up.
Cause you’re in for a surprise!
Here’s the backstory.
(Related: You know what's even better than learning how to tell a girl to be your girlfriend?
It’s knowing how to get a girl to ask YOU to be her boyfriend.
If that tickles your fancy, send me an email at nickneeson@introvertedbadass.com with subject line “Make women ask you to be their boyfriend” and I’ll tell ya how to do it.)
Alright.
Back to the story.
Many moons ago…
I had a client who was dating a woman.
He was nuts for her.
And wanted to make her his girlfriend.
They’d been dating for a few months at that point.
So he sits her down and asks her…
“How do you see us? Do you see us becoming a couple? Cause I’m ready for it.”
But…
Instead of hearing a big, enthusiastic, YES!...
She started to dance around the question.
She didn’t say no.
But she also didn’t say yes.
In other words…
He didn’t get an answer.
He felt something was wrong!
And he was right.
Cause from that moment on…things only got worse!
She became less available.
Played hot and cold.
And he didn’t understand.
He told me…
“Things were going so great. She was really into me. We saw each other every weekend. She either stayed over at my place or I stayed over at hers. And now I feel she's avoiding me”.
And just as he thought things couldn’t get worse…
They DID!
Cause she started picking fights with him (something she never did before).
And about small things.
Like which movie they would watch!
Eventually, she broke up with him.
And all of this happened JUST ONE MONTH after he asked her to become his girlfriend!
Now…
The first three times I heard a similar story from my clients…
I thought they didn’t create enough attraction.
So I focused on teaching them to create more of it.
But even after they did all of that…
The problem kept coming back.
So…
I realized it wasn’t the lack of attraction that was creating that behavior.
There was something they did that caused women to do a 180 on them.
Even if they were really attracted to my clients before.
And it’s a common mistake that probably 99% of all men make when they try to turn a woman into their girlfriend.
I call it the "DTR Trap."
And it’s a horrible trap!
Cause it’s something you wouldn't expect.
And when you fall into this trap…
It causes you to lose women almost every single time.
No matter how good-looking you are.
Or how much she’s into you!
Plus…
It will drive you crazy cause you won’t understand what happened.
And this can give you a bitter taste in your mouth about women.
Lead you to unhealthy relationships with them and even misogyny.
And ultimately can cause you to stay lonely for the rest of your life.
I’ll tell you more about this “DTR Trap” later in this article.
But first…
I want to give you some “other” pointers…
On how to tell a girl to be your girlfriend...
Which you need to take care of first.
Here they are…
And it’s not what you think.
So…
Buckle up.
Cause you’re in for a surprise!
Here’s the backstory.
(Related: You know what's even better than learning how to tell a girl to be your girlfriend?
It’s knowing how to get a girl to ask YOU to be her boyfriend.
If that tickles your fancy, send me an email at nickneeson@introvertedbadass.com with subject line “Make women ask you to be their boyfriend” and I’ll tell ya how to do it.)
Alright.
Back to the story.
Many moons ago…
I had a client who was dating a woman.
He was nuts for her.
And wanted to make her his girlfriend.
They’d been dating for a few months at that point.
So he sits her down and asks her…
“How do you see us? Do you see us becoming a couple? Cause I’m ready for it.”
But…
Instead of hearing a big, enthusiastic, YES!...
She started to dance around the question.
She didn’t say no.
But she also didn’t say yes.
In other words…
He didn’t get an answer.
He felt something was wrong!
And he was right.
Cause from that moment on…things only got worse!
She became less available.
Played hot and cold.
And he didn’t understand.
He told me…
“Things were going so great. She was really into me. We saw each other every weekend. She either stayed over at my place or I stayed over at hers. And now I feel she's avoiding me”.
And just as he thought things couldn’t get worse…
They DID!
Cause she started picking fights with him (something she never did before).
And about small things.
Like which movie they would watch!
Eventually, she broke up with him.
And all of this happened JUST ONE MONTH after he asked her to become his girlfriend!
Now…
The first three times I heard a similar story from my clients…
I thought they didn’t create enough attraction.
So I focused on teaching them to create more of it.
But even after they did all of that…
The problem kept coming back.
So…
I realized it wasn’t the lack of attraction that was creating that behavior.
There was something they did that caused women to do a 180 on them.
Even if they were really attracted to my clients before.
And it’s a common mistake that probably 99% of all men make when they try to turn a woman into their girlfriend.
I call it the "DTR Trap."
And it’s a horrible trap!
Cause it’s something you wouldn't expect.
And when you fall into this trap…
It causes you to lose women almost every single time.
No matter how good-looking you are.
Or how much she’s into you!
Plus…
It will drive you crazy cause you won’t understand what happened.
And this can give you a bitter taste in your mouth about women.
Lead you to unhealthy relationships with them and even misogyny.
And ultimately can cause you to stay lonely for the rest of your life.
I’ll tell you more about this “DTR Trap” later in this article.
But first…
I want to give you some “other” pointers…
On how to tell a girl to be your girlfriend...
Which you need to take care of first.
Here they are…
Secret 1 - How To Tell A Girl To Be Your Girlfriend By Respecting The Dating Process
How To Tell A Girl To Be Your Girlfriend By Respecting The Dating Process
The dating process has three stages.
And if you want to maximize your chances to turn a girl into your girlfriend…
You need to take them in the proper order.
The stages are:
1) Get Date
2) Get Intimate
3) Get Girlfriend
So…
First, you get a date.
Then you become physically intimate.
And ONLY then can you become boyfriend/girlfriend.
Obvious, right?
Yet…
A lot of men have issues turning women into their girlfriends.
Because they simply don’t respect the stages of the dating process.
They skip stages.
For example.
Some guys will skip the “dating” stage.
They’ll try to force the relationship while hiding their intentions.
In other words…
They’ll behave like her friend.
And while pretending to be her friend… they start doing relationship stuff.
They buy her flowers.
Take her to dinner.
Let her dog out.
Etc.
In other words...
They do relationship stuff WAY before the time is right to do so.
I mean…
They haven't even been on an official date, for god sakes!
Now…
These guys…usually land in the friendzone!
Another mistake is…
Guys that “have” been on a date with a woman...
And maybe even kissed her...
But never became sexually intimate with the woman...
And skip the sexual intimacy stage…
To go straight to the relationship stage.
Same problem here.
They are setting themselves up to getting friend-zoned.
Or dumped!
And it’s all because they didn’t stick to the process.
You see…
Becoming sexually intimate is an important step.
And you can’t skip it.
Why?
Cause in a long-term relationship…
There is going to be sex!
I mean…
How can you commit to someone before you know the sex is good, right?
That’s not how things work.
Now…
Speaking of sex…
Here's the second secret to turning a girl into your girlfriend…
Secret 2 - How To Tell A Girl To Be Your Girlfriend By Being Great In Bed
How To Tell A Girl To Be Your Girlfriend By Being Great In Bed
If we accept that the dating process follows a series of sequential steps…
Then it's logical that the better you are at a previous step…
The more chances you’ll reach the next one.
For example.
If the sex was awful…
The chances of her wanting to have sex with you again… are pretty slim!
And if she doesn’t want to have sex with you again…
Well…
She probably won’t become your girlfriend either.
Pretty common sense, right?
If you’re at the supermarket and they offer you a free sample of cheese…
And it tastes terrible…
You’re probably not going to buy a whole pound of it!
On the other hand…
If you like the taste…
There’s a big chance you’ll buy more of that cheese.
Same in dating.
If the sex is bad…
She’ll likely NOT come back for more.
But if the sex is excellent…
She most likely WILL come back for more.
In other words…
The better the sex…
The more chances you have to turn her into your girlfriend.
And it’s funny…
Cause most dating advice won’t talk about this.
They’ll give you tips about “what to say.”
Or “how” to ask her to be your girlfriend.
But they won’t tell you….
The big lever is in the stage “before” you tell her to be your girlfriend – the sexual intimacy stage!
Imagine the cheese salesperson focusing on “what” to say in his sales pitch…
While the sample cheese he gave you tasted like ass.
No matter how good his pitch…
You probably won’t buy the darn cheese!
But if the cheese was good…
The sales pitch would become almost irrelevant.
And there’s even a good chance…
YOU would ask the salesperson if you can buy the cheese…
Before he even had a chance to pitch you!
See what I mean?
Very powerful.
Now…
What does it mean to give a woman an excellent sexual experience?
Well…
It simply means you need to learn how to give her orgasms.
Once you know how to do that…
She’ll be yours!
From that point on, she'll “want” to become your girlfriend.
And the only thing you need to do is allow that to happen.
Imagine a big domino that you just pushed over.
And now all the other dominos are falling too.
The only way to stop them from falling…
Is to physically interfere and stop them.
Meaning you would create a barrier yourself!
And it’s the same with telling a girl to be your girlfriend!
You see…
After you’ve had great sex…
Things are now in motion for her to naturally become your girlfriend.
It’s just a matter of time for the last domino to fall!
Unless you create a barrier yourself.
Which brings me to…
Secret 3 - How To Tell A Girl To Be Your Girlfriend By Never Initiating The "DTR Talk"
How To Tell A Girl To Be Your Girlfriend By Never Initiating The "DTR Talk"
The biggest mistake guys make when trying to make a woman their girlfriend…
Is to initiate the Determining The Relationship Talk (DTR Talk).
Which means you bring up the conversation…
In which you try to determine what type of relationship both of you are in.
For example…
“What are we? Do you see us as a couple? I'm ready for it”
If you do that… she’ll most likely do a 180 on you!
Even if she was attracted to you before.
Even if the sex was great.
Heck…
Even if she was gaga over you!
The reason for this is simple.
When you initiate the DTR Talk…
It shows her you are insecure.
It shows her you lack confidence.
If you “need” to hear her say…
“Yes, I want to be your girlfriend” or…
“Yes, I want us to be a couple”…
Or any other type of reassurance…
She will lose her attraction to you!
Cause probably the number one thing women are attracted to in a man…
Is confidence!
This also means that women are repulsed by men that are not confident.
This is a huge mistake most guys make.
And not only when asking a woman to be their girlfriend.
But in many other aspects.
You see...
Many men think that once they have a woman attracted to them…
They now have their ticket to heaven.
And they fall back in unattractive behaviors.
They’ll become needy.
Show a lack of confidence.
Etc.
And they don’t realize that doing the opposite things of what made the woman attracted to them…
Will make her repulsed by them.
To turn a woman into your girlfriend and to keep her…
You need to keep having attractive behaviors.
It’s a marathon, not a sprint.
In fact…
It’s more than a marathon.
It's a never-ending one!
Just so you get a better feeling of how important this is…
Think of this…
Imagine you fell in love with a woman.
You loved her body and how she took care of her beauty.
But once you’re in a relationship with her…
She stops working out and stops caring about her beauty.
And she turns into a fat monster with greasy hair.
You’ll become repulsed by her.
See how that works?
It’s the same for women.
The difference is…
That women are more attracted to a man’s behavior than to his looks.
Which is why…
The moment you start having unattractive behaviors…
She’ll start losing attraction for you.
And as I said…
Initiating the DTR Talk as a man…
Is incredibly unattractive behavior.
It’s the equivalent of a gorgeous bikini babe suddenly turning into a whale!
So…
Now that we understand that initiating the DTR talk is a BIG NO GO…
What do we do instead?
Well…
That brings us to…
Secret 4 - How To Tell A Girl To Be Your Girlfriend By Doing More Stuff That Couples Do
How To Tell A Girl To Be Your Girlfriend By Doing More Stuff That Couples Do
Remember the domino analogy?
By having great sex with her, you pushed the big domino.
And now all the others will naturally fall.
Unless you physically interfere.
And remember how in secret 3…
I explained to you that initiating the DTR Conversation is the equivalent of physically interfering with the falling dominos?
Well…
How do we make sure we don’t interfere in the dating process?
How do we make sure we let things happen naturally?
Simple…
By NOT having the DTR Talk!
Instead…
Just do more and more things that couples would do.
Cause by doing things that couples do…
You will naturally become a couple.
For example…
You could spend a Sunday together…
Meet her friends…
Meet her parents, etc.
Can you see what I mean?
Who spends a Sunday together and meets each other's parents?
Well, either friends or couples.
Ans since you respected the steps of the dating process…
Meaning you already had sex with her…
It means you’re not a friend.
So…she can’t put you in that category!
Which leaves her with just one category to put you in.
The boyfriend category.
Imagine this.
You’re at your place with a woman.
You’re both having a glass of wine.
There’s romantic music playing in the background.
You start kissing.
You take her clothes off.
She takes your clothes off.
You’re both naked and passionately making out.
Well…
Imagine you would now ask her…
“So what does this mean? Does it mean we’re going to have sex?”
Can you see how this would ruin the vibe?
Of course, you're going to have sex.
Or she wouldn’t allow you to undress her!
See what I mean?
The activities you both did together (getting naked while making out)…
Are activities that you only do when you want to have sex.
So… if she goes along in these activities…
She's okay with having sex!
Of course…
If at any point she objects…
Either verbally or physically (by refusing to escalate further)…
Then it’s probably not going to happen…
At least not that night.
Are you getting this?
It’s the same with turning her into your girlfriend.
As longs as she goes along with the activities that couples do…
She’ll start seeing you as her boyfriend.
Do this long enough…
And she'll be the one that initiates the DTR Conversation.
And even if she doesn’t…
It’s okay…
You’re a couple…
Cause you’re doing stuff couples do together!
Never judge people by their words… judge them by their actions.
Cause actions speak louder than words.
Conclusion
Conclusion On How To Tell A Girl To Be Your Girlfriend
There are only four steps to turn a woman into your girlfriend…
And they are straightforward!
But…
No matter how good you are at those steps…
If you fall in the DTR Trap…
You’ll most likely lose her.
No matter how good-looking you are.
No matter how attracted she was to you before!
Heck…
It doesn’t even matter if she was head over heels in love with you.
The DTR Trap…
WILL ruin your chances like a sudden storm ruins a fabulous beach party!
I hope this article helped you!
Oh, btw…
You know what's even better than learning how to tell a girl to be your girlfriend?
It’s knowing how to get a girl to ask YOU to be her boyfriend.
If that tickles your fancy, send me an email at nickneeson@introvertedbadass.com
with subject line “Make women ask you to be their boyfriend” and I’ll tell ya how to do it.
Take it easy.
Nick
How do you tell a girl to be your girlfriend? Share your opinion in the comments section below!
