11 Ways To Skyrocket Your Confidence
7 Powerful Perspective Shifts That Will Boost Your Love Life
11 Proven First Date Hacks That Will Make You Stand Out
By the worlds #1 dating coach for Introverted Men - Nick Neeson.
The number-one thing that all women find attractive is confidence. Yet most men have never received formal training on how to be a powerful, in-command man.
Despite what most men think, the type of confidence that quality women look for in a man has nothing to do with acting tough or being arrogant.
I’ve said it a gazillion times… quality women don’t see men as potential relationship material based on their looks, money, or “game”.
What women are looking for to find out if you might be Mr. Right is true core confidence and self-esteem.
Check out the 11 tips in this article to make your confidence and your self-esteem skyrocket.
Despite what most men think, the type of confidence that quality women look for in a man has nothing to do with acting tough or being arrogant.
I’ve said it a gazillion times… quality women don’t see men as potential relationship material based on their looks, money, or “game”.
What women are looking for to find out if you might be Mr. Right is true core confidence and self-esteem.
Check out the 11 tips in this article to make your confidence and your self-esteem skyrocket.
1) Make A Conscious Decision
“I’m done! Enough is enough! This is the moment! This is the very second where I decide I will become a powerful, confident, in-charge man! And I mean right now!”
Your very first step is to make a conscious decision that you WILL become more confident.
Many men complain about the fact they’re not confident, but they never actually DECIDE to become confident.
The first step in any change is to make a decision that you WILL change this about yourself.
Here’s something that will help you with that decision.
Think about your life. Ask yourself the following questions:
What's The Cost Of Low Self Esteem?
• How much pain have I suffered from being insecure? In what ways has it negatively impacted my life?
• How much did it cost me in my love life? In my career? In my relationships with others? In my daily life?
• How much emotional pain have I endured because of it?
• How much will it cost me in the future?
• What’s the worst thing that will happen if I don’t decide to CHANGE and become more confident?
• How much misery will it bring me if I don’t change RIGHT NOW?”
Then ask yourself this:
If I decide to become confident RIGHT NOW, how will it positively impact my life?
• If I decide to become confident RIGHT NOW, how will it positively impact my life?
• How much pleasure will I get out if it?
• What would my love life look like?
• How would women treat me?
• How great will if feel?
Take a few minutes to answer these questions.
Even better, take 20 minutes and WRITE down the answers to each question.
Once you’re done, repeat after me:
“I’m done! Enough is enough! This is the moment! This is the very second where I decide I will become a powerful, confident, in-charge man! And I mean right now!”
Do it! Say it out loud and then write those words down on paper!
2) Gain Momentum
Most men think becoming more confident is some long, daunting path that will take forever to achieve. WRONG! You can INSTANTLY feel more confident.
Did you just decide to become more confident? Did you do the exercise? If not, stop reading and do the exercise. If you did, then it’s time to get you some early successes and momentum.
Most men think becoming more confident is some long, daunting path that will take forever to achieve. They think that confidence comes with the end result; therefore, they don’t take action.
And I get it! It’s not motivating if you have to wait THAT long.
But here’s the thing. You don’t need to wait at all. You can feel more confident immediately. I’ll show you how in just a minute.
But first, I want you to understand that making even the slightest improvement will make you feel more happy and confident. That’s the beauty of it.
So, the only thing you need to do to feel more confident quickly is to start with some small improvement right now.
And if you want to feel confident each day, you only need to keep making some incremental improvements every day.
Every time you take a small baby step, you’ll get a rush. You’ll feel a buzz. You’ll feel excited that you just had a “little victory”.
That little victory creates momentum. And when you stack those little victories, you’re in constant momentum. That’s the trick.
Heck, just the fact that you did the previous exercise will make you feel more confident right now in this moment.
Now, of course you won’t be as confident as Superman yet. You won’t have developed core confidence yet. But that’s not an issue.
You’ll feel like you have core confidence because of the power rush you get from making an improvement.
And if you keep stacking the small improvements, you’ll feel confident all the time—starting today.
Got it?
You don’t need to wait! You can have it right now!
And over time, all those reference experiences add up and you BECOME confident at your CORE. In other words, over time you build self-esteem.
So what’s the best way to instantly feel more confident? And I mean INSTANTLY?
Well, if you know Tony Robbins, then you know the answer…
3) Change Your Physiology
If you change your physiology, you instantly change how you feel. It’s impossible to feel insecure when your physiology is mimicking a confident expression.
Our mind and our body are one cybernetic unit. They are constantly affecting each other.
If you feel bad, it shows in your physiology. If you feel good, it also shows in your physiology.
But it also works the other way around. If you change your physiology, you instantly change how you feel.
It’s impossible to feel bad when your physiology is mimicking a happy expression.
Try this.
Set your two feet apart. Look up. Put your hands in the air like after a victory. Put a big fat smile on your face.
Are you in that position? Okay. Now stay like that and TRY as hard as you can to feel sad.
Did you try it? It’s great, isn’t it? It’s impossible to feel bad when you’re in this position.
That’s because your physiology affects how you feel, and it does so INSTANTLY!
It’s impossible to feel sad in this position.
Here’s another fun little thing you can do.
Walk like you did when you were a child, and swing your arms very hard. You know what I mean. Just walk and swing your arms like when you were a happy little kid. See how you feel.
Okay. Now that you’ve realized that you can INSTANTLY change how you feel, let’s find out how you can feel confident in a HEARTBEAT.
Here’s your INSTANT CONFIDENCE exercise.
Think of a moment when you felt really confident in your life. It doesn’t matter when or why you were confident.
It doesn’t have to be a situation with women.
Maybe you just won some game. Maybe you had some success at your job. Maybe you prepared for some project and you knew you were going to crush it!
It doesn’t matter what the situation was. Just remember a moment when you were SUPER confident.
Once you remember that situation, I want you to step back in that moment, as if you were there, and relive it.
See through your own eyes what you saw. Feel what you felt… Notice your body. How are you standing? How are you breathing? What is your facial expression?
Once you’ve calibrated your physiology, start using that physiology ALL THE TIME. Use your confident face, your confident walk, and your confident way of standing constantly.
Just imagine it’s a costume of “confident you” that you put on, and… abracadabra… you instantly adapt your physiology and you instantly feel confident!
It really is THAT simple.
Keep using that magic costume of “confident you” for the next 90 days, and you’ll have transitioned from acting confident to being confident.
4) Use Thought Loops
Thought loops are one step up from affirmations. It's The most powerful tool to build confidence and self-Esteem
I know what you might be thinking: Nick, why do you keep shoving thought loops in my face as a solution for everything?
Well… Because it’s simply the best inner game exercise for ANY inner game issue.
At the end of this article, you’ll get to download my number-one inner game exercise, which teaches you EXACTLY how to use thought loops THE RIGHT WAY.
You see, you have to do them in a certain way or they don’t work. But once you know how to do them correctly, you’ll have the most powerful inner game tool ever.
You can use it to solve any and all inner game issues you might have (except maybe traumatic experiences).
But first, what are thought loops?
In 1960, Dr. Maxwell Maltz wrote a book called “Psycho-Cybernetics”.
In this book, he reveals what he learned through his work with his patients: that positive self-affirmations change people’s self-image.
Psycho Cybernetics: The Masterpiece Book Of Dr Maxwell Maltz
Also, many of the psychological methods used today to train elite athletes are based on the concepts of psycho-cybernetics.
So, we’re talking about one of the most powerful methods out there to increase self-esteem and become more confident.
Thought loops are one step up from affirmations.
Unlike affirmations, you don’t say thought loops out loud. Instead, you loop them inside your head.
This has many advantages and is way more powerful to change your self-image.
The beauty is that you can start doing thought loops right now. They’ll give you positive momentum. You’ll feel more confident right away, and when you use them for 90 days straight, your self-image will have permanently changed.
You will see yourself as a powerful, confident man. It will be REAL authentic core confidence.
5) Fashion and Image
When you dress well, you look better. You’ll get more attention from women, which builds your confidence.
Another thing you can do to boost your confidence is dress better.
Just spend $150 on a stylist or a shop assistant, and they will teach you how to dress—what works for your body type, your personality, etc.
It will be the best investment you’ll ever make. Once they’re done with you, you’ll know what to buy and what not to buy.
Why does this boost your confidence?
When you dress well, you look better. You’ll get more attention from women. You’ll get compliments from colleagues, friends, and family members. This makes you feel good and builds your confidence.
This one always astonishes me. It’s SO easy to do this and the impact is SO BIG, yet most men don’t do it.
Instead, they spend their time crawling the internet looking for more blog posts and products to help improve their dating skills. It’s hilarious.
If you dress well, you don’t need so much “game” to make women attracted to you.
On the contrary, women will already be attracted to you before you open your mouth. Plus, they’ll make your interactions easier. They’ll contribute to the conversation a lot more.
It’s one of the best hacks to improve your dating life and your confidence.
The problem with society is that we think things must be hard in order for them to work. ‘Hey, if it’s that hard, it must work!’ It’s a cognitive bias.
And we often disqualify things that seem easy. ‘It seems too good to be true… probably won’t work. Delete!'
Don’t fall for that BS way of thinking.
Make sure you dress great all the time.
6) Work Out
Workouts boost testosterone and confidence.
Go to the gym.
It helps you in so many ways.
First, if you are a little overweight, it will help you lose weight. This is good for your confidence.
Don’t worry if you need to lose 30 pounds. Remember, it’s about momentum.
When you go to the gym the first time, you will already get a confidence boost just because you did it. You improved your situation. Just the fact that you are on a journey creates confidence.
Second, lifting weight releases testosterone. Testosterone is extremely important for your well-being and confidence as a man. The more testosterone you have, the more confident you feel.
7) Use Power Posing
Just two minutes of power posing will increase your testosterone by up to 40% and decrease your cortisol by as much as 40%.
Power posing was discovered by Amy Cuddy.
Amy Cuddy is a sociologist, professor, and researcher at Harvard Business School.
She discovered that you can use your body language to influence your hormones.
She also discovered that there are certain power positions you can use to positively impact your hormones in just two minutes.
Just two minutes of power posing will increase your testosterone by up to 40% and decrease your cortisol by as much as 40%.
As I already said, the more testosterone you have, the more confident you feel.
Cortisol, on the other hand, is a stress hormone. That means that the less cortisol you have, the less anxiety you feel.
If you want a step-by-step guide on how to use power posing, download this Core Confidence package.
8) Use Meditation & Visualization
Meditation and visualization are probably in the top three most powerful mind exercises to use.
Ah… The oldies but goldies.
Meditation and visualization are probably in the top three most powerful mind exercises to use.
A few years ago, everybody talked about it. But these days almost nobody mentions it anymore.
Why?
Because it’s old knowledge. We humans are strange. We are always looking for the shiny new thing, but we forget to DO WHAT WORKS.
Mediation and visualization work!
Don’t worry. You don’t need to become a Buddhist monk, learn to levitate, or go into a silent trance for hours. Just five minutes of meditation plus 15 minutes of visualization a day is enough.
The way I combine them is by first meditating for five minutes—meaning I try not to think about anything and completely relax my mind.
After that, I do a visualization exercise for 15 minutes in which I visualize accomplishing my goals.
When you do this, you’ll feel a sense of calmness and confidence that you’ve never experienced before.
Try it and see for yourself.
9) More Competence = More Confidence
Learning something shows your mind that you can become better at something, and it makes you feel more confident.
Learn new skills. When you learn new skills, you feel more confident.
You don’t even need to wait until you’ve mastered the skill to feel confident. Just the fact that you are learning is enough.
Learning things shows your mind that you can become better at something, and it makes you feel more confident.
10) Focus On Different Areas
If you focus on multiple areas of your life, then a setback in one area won’t hurt your confidence because you have all these other areas where you’re making progress.
When you learn new skills, it’s important to focus on different areas in your life.
For example, you could go to the gym, you could learn dating skills, you could focus on learning a new skill for your career, etc.
The reason why this is important to your overall confidence is the following.
Whenever you learn something, you get better, but you’ll also have some setbacks from time to time.
For example, when you go to the gym, at a certain point you might reach a plateau.
When you focus on your career, there might come a moment where it doesn’t go as well.
When you learn dating skills, there might be a moment where you get a setback.
If you focus only on one part of your life and you get a setback, your confidence and happiness might take a big hit.
But if you focus on multiple areas of your life, then a setback in one area won’t hurt your confidence because you have all these other areas where you’re making progress.
When you do all this, your successes will start to accumulate and you’ll go beyond situational confidence. You’ll get true “core” confidence, or what’s called self-esteem.
Here are some very important areas that everyone should strive to improve in their lives:
• Health and fitness
• Career
• Dating & love life
• Friends & family
• Finances
• Hobbies
11) Surround Yourself With Positive People
Jim Rohn, Anthony Robbins’s mentor and one of the best self-improvement gurus ever, has a terrific quote:
'You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.'
And man, was he right.
If you surround yourself with negative people, you’ll feel down.
If you surround yourself with positive people, you’ll become more positive yourself.
Here’s a great tip. Think of something that you want to achieve in life.
Next, figure out the people who have already achieved it and surround yourself with them.
You’ll achieve the same in no time. It’s almost impossible NOT to achieve it when you do this.
I would categorize this tip as the ultimate life hack.
Conclusion
Building confidence doesn’t have to take long.In fact, you can change your state and feel confident in a heartbeat by shifting your physiology.
Next, it’s about momentum. You don’t need to wait for the end result to be confident.
Starting the journey of making small improvements will boost your confidence instantly.
Think of baby steps. Make sure to be in a continuous improvement mode. The multiple daily ‘little victories’ will give you a buzz. This buzz is confidence. It’s not core confidence yet, but it feels the same.
It feels like confidence. So by improving daily on different areas of your life, you’ll continuously get confidence boosts.
If you do this for 90 days straight, that feeling of confidence will have become your default state. You will have developed core confidence, and you won’t need the confidence rushes anymore. You’ll BE confident.
The funny thing is that once you have core confidence, you’ll still want to keep improving your life. And you’ll still get those ‘little victories’ every day – ON TOP OF your core confidence.
Besides that, there are a multitude of mind tools and techniques you can use to accelerate your transformation into a truly confident, high-status man.
Get the best of both worlds: Use the 11 tips from this article to instantly make your confidence skyrocket, all while building true self-esteem over time. Do it now.
By the way, in my Core Confidence Package, I go into the tools for self-confidence and self-talk in much GREATER detail.
Why?
Because unless you get this Core Confidence part handled, any techniques you might learn won’t be nearly as effective as they could be.
But when you DO get your core confidence down, the techniques I’ll teach you will be ten times as powerful…
The best way to get it handled is by going through my ABSOLUTELY FREE BONUS and finding out for yourself.
BONUS: The New Core Confidence Package consists of four resources:
1. The #1 Inner Game Technique: The exact step-by-step method for thought loops that we use at Introverted Badass to coach our private coaching clients.
2. The Victory Pose: Our best power-posing exercise to increase your testosterone by 40% and lower your cortisol by 40% - in just two minutes.
3. Collapsing Anchors Technique: How to make approach anxiety trigger confidence and excitement – on autopilot.
4. A SUPER-SECRET Training: For introverted men only.
How do you build confidence? Share your experience in the comment section below.
