7 Reliable Hacks That Will Get You Out Of The Friendzone
7 Proven Daily Rituals That Will Improve Your Dating Life
8 Ridiculous Things PUA Gurus Say That You Should Never Do
By the worlds #1 dating coach for Introverted Men - Nick Neeson.
Today I’d like to tell you the story of one of my clients, whom we will call Paul - a good-hearted and thoughtful introvert.
You might find his story strangely familiar. Don't get spooked!
Paul met this exceptional woman. He was very into her.
The more Paul got to know her, the more he grew attracted to her.
And the more he grew attracted to her, the more he grew an emotional attachment and affection for her.
But there was just one tiny problem.
As his affection grew stronger, so did his insecurity.
Mostly, this was because he couldn’t tell if she felt the same way about him.
There were times when she was really nice to him. She would say things like, “I really feel connected to you” and “I’m so lucky to have you in my life”…
However, things never progressed passed the friendship stage.
Something was missing.
She didn’t act like someone who was falling in love, but more like a friend.
The insecurity he felt amplified. It became worse and worse, in a downward spiral.
And the more insecure he felt, the more afraid he became to mess things up by taking risks like going in for the kiss, or asking her to become his girlfriend.
And it became even worse.
The more insecure he became, the more she distanced herself from him. As a result, they spent less and less time together.
But then, Paul gathered all his courage and made a bold move!
He confessed his feelings!
He told her he would do anything for her because he LOVED her.
“I will do anything to be with you,” he said.
She looked at him with compassion in her eyes and said… “I really like you and I’m so lucky to have you in my life…” and then uttered the heart-wrenching words… “but I don’t want to ruin our friendship. You’re too important to me.”
This only made Paul more confused.
What did it mean?
Did it mean she reciprocated his love but was afraid to go too fast and ruin what they had?
Did it mean she didn’t love him and he needed to back off?
Did it mean that she was hurt in a previous relationship and wasn’t ready to commit yet?
Did it mean he had to put everything on the line and make a big, bold move? Did he need to tell her how he REALLY felt?
He decided that he needed to make sure she REALLY understood how he felt. So he bought her a gift and wrote her a long love letter, confessing his feelings AGAIN.
And then the unbearable happened.
She didn’t reply.
He called her multiple times a day for almost a week before he could reach her.
She made some excuse about being busy and promised to call him back.
But she never called back.
For months he desperately tried to understand what happened.
End of story.
Okay, I’m back.
Heartwarming isn’t it?
What happened to Paul resonates at a deep level because you can IDENTIFY with it.
Most introverted men have been in this situation in their lives, and some of them have been in it FAR TOO MANY times.
In this particular case, I think there is a solution. The solution is to understand a secret about women that most men will never know.
The secret is this.
If a woman doesn’t feel attraction for you, confessing your feelings will backfire.
She’ll either put you in the friendzone or worse, she’ll disappear forever.
So if you find yourself in the friendzone, like Paul did, don’t make it worse by CONFESSING your feelings.
Instead, use these 7 time-tested hacks to get back out of the friendzone and into the “sexy zone”.
You might find his story strangely familiar. Don't get spooked!
Paul met this exceptional woman. He was very into her.
The more Paul got to know her, the more he grew attracted to her.
And the more he grew attracted to her, the more he grew an emotional attachment and affection for her.
But there was just one tiny problem.
As his affection grew stronger, so did his insecurity.
Mostly, this was because he couldn’t tell if she felt the same way about him.
There were times when she was really nice to him. She would say things like, “I really feel connected to you” and “I’m so lucky to have you in my life”…
However, things never progressed passed the friendship stage.
Something was missing.
She didn’t act like someone who was falling in love, but more like a friend.
The insecurity he felt amplified. It became worse and worse, in a downward spiral.
And the more insecure he felt, the more afraid he became to mess things up by taking risks like going in for the kiss, or asking her to become his girlfriend.
And it became even worse.
The more insecure he became, the more she distanced herself from him. As a result, they spent less and less time together.
But then, Paul gathered all his courage and made a bold move!
He confessed his feelings!
He told her he would do anything for her because he LOVED her.
“I will do anything to be with you,” he said.
She looked at him with compassion in her eyes and said… “I really like you and I’m so lucky to have you in my life…” and then uttered the heart-wrenching words… “but I don’t want to ruin our friendship. You’re too important to me.”
He Confessed His Feelings And Got Friendzoned
This only made Paul more confused.
What did it mean?
Did it mean she reciprocated his love but was afraid to go too fast and ruin what they had?
Did it mean she didn’t love him and he needed to back off?
Did it mean that she was hurt in a previous relationship and wasn’t ready to commit yet?
Did it mean he had to put everything on the line and make a big, bold move? Did he need to tell her how he REALLY felt?
He decided that he needed to make sure she REALLY understood how he felt. So he bought her a gift and wrote her a long love letter, confessing his feelings AGAIN.
And then the unbearable happened.
She didn’t reply.
He called her multiple times a day for almost a week before he could reach her.
She made some excuse about being busy and promised to call him back.
But she never called back.
He Confessed His Feelings AGAIN And She Disappeared Forever.
For months he desperately tried to understand what happened.
End of story.
Okay, I’m back.
Heartwarming isn’t it?
What happened to Paul resonates at a deep level because you can IDENTIFY with it.
Most introverted men have been in this situation in their lives, and some of them have been in it FAR TOO MANY times.
In this particular case, I think there is a solution. The solution is to understand a secret about women that most men will never know.
The secret is this.
If a woman doesn’t feel attraction for you, confessing your feelings will backfire.
She’ll either put you in the friendzone or worse, she’ll disappear forever.
So if you find yourself in the friendzone, like Paul did, don’t make it worse by CONFESSING your feelings.
Instead, use these 7 time-tested hacks to get back out of the friendzone and into the “sexy zone”.
1. Understand Her Psychology
What Does She Win By Sticking You In Friend-Zone Purgatory? She Gets A Stable Source Of Good Feelings Like Warmth, Attention, And Validation.
This step is crucial!
If you don’t understand her psychology, the other steps won’t work half as well. That’s because you won’t understand why you are using them.
So let’s start with a basic question: What does SHE win by sticking you in friend-zone purgatory?
The answer is very simple.
She gets a stable source of good feelings like warmth, attention, and validation.
She knows you desire her. She feels wanted every time she is in your presence.
Now, think about how much this is worth to her for a minute.
She has her life with its ups and downs, just like any other person. One day is great, the next day she’s got problems.
She Has Her Life With Its Ups And Downs, Just Like Any Other Person. One Day Is Great, The Next Day She’s Got Problems.
Problems with her man… some drama with a friend… some other girl that puts her down… and all she has to do is spend some time with you and she feels sexy, important, and desired again.
Plus she knows she can call you anytime, and you’ll jump at any opportunity to see her.
Can you see the value this has to her?
She feels bad, she sees you, and VOILA, she feels good again.
But it’s even more than that. As I just said, she knows she can get it ANY TIME SHE WANTS and with INSTANT GRATIFICATION.
She knows you’ll drop whatever you’re doing to come see her if she needs you.
Heck, she even knows she can call you in the middle of the night and you will go over to be her shoulder to cry on.
Are You Her Emotional Tampon?
You might be thinking, “What’s so bad about being the guy who puts a smile on her face?”
And frankly, there’s nothing wrong with that. You are fulfilling one of her needs and that’s fine.
The problem is that it’s JUST ONE of her needs. But she also has other needs.
She also needs excitement, unpredictability, sexual tension, attraction, and maybe even some drama.
If you don’t demonstrate your ability to fulfill those needs, you’ll be slam-dunked into her friendzone – all while she’ll have her other needs met by some other guy.
So how do you fight your way out of the friendzone and back into the “sexy zone”?
Now that you understand her psychology, you need to…
2. Break the Pattern
Break The Pattern. Become Unpredictable. Unpredictability Creates Uncertainty. Uncertainty Creates Some Form Of Excitement For Women. And Excitement Opens The Door For Another Kind Of Relationship With You.
You need to break her pattern and make her see you in a new light.
Most dating advice will tell you to start behaving like a raging, cocky alpha male asshole.
But this doesn’t work for smart, introverted men. It’s just not you.
You can’t just do a 180 and abruptly change your personality if she’s never seen you like that before.
It wouldn’t suit your personality. It would be inauthentic, and she would see right through it. It would do you more harm than good.
Instead, you’re much better off making some subtle, incremental changes. Meaning you GENTLY break the pattern.
The first thing I want you do next time is to end the conversation first.
Just have a conversation and feel when the conversation is going really great.
You know that point where previously, you would hold onto it forever. The point where you feel really deeply connected to her – and at that precise moment, tell her you need to go somewhere and move on.
She probably won’t think anything of it, but unconsciously she will feel something is just a little different – even if she doesn’t know exactly what it is.
Then in the next conversation, do the same. End the conversation first.
After you’ve done this a few times, it’s time to step it up a little more. Remember that it’s about incrementally breaking the pattern, not bull-rushing it.
Next, you make yourself slightly less available.
She wants to go for a coffee? Tomorrow, sure, but today you’re busy.
She wants you to help her with some problem on her MacBook? You can drop by later this week, but today unfortunately you have to be somewhere else.
The point is not to become some dickhead that never wants to see her again, but to be just slightly less available.
When she starts to see that you are not always available anymore and that your affection isn’t something she can get ‘on call’, that’s when the relationship will start to shift. That’s when she will start to see you in a different way.
If you do this a few times, I can guarantee that the next time she calls you, she’ll genuinely be wondering if you will say ‘yes’ to her request.
You will have become unpredictable.
Unpredictability creates uncertainty.
This uncertainty creates some form of excitement for women. And excitement opens the door for another kind of relationship with you.
3. Treat Her As A Friend
Talk To Her Like You Would Talk To A Normal Friend. Talk About Beautiful Women You See In The Environment. Talk About Dates You’ve Been On. She Will Start To See You In A Different Way.
When you meet her, it’s imperative that you treat her exactly as you would treat any other friend.
You shouldn’t feel bad about it. There’s nothing wrong with it. After all, she asked you to be “just friends”. So treat her like “just” a friend.
That means when you meet her, don’t look at her like you’re in love with her, but instead give her a pat on the back like you would do with a normal friend.
Also, talk to her like you would talk to a normal friend. Talk about beautiful women you see in the environment. Talk about dates you’ve been on.
You shouldn’t worry about her thoughts, because you’re not chasing after her. You’re just being a friend, just like she wanted. And talking about dates and women is a normal thing to do with friends.
Just make sure you’re not rubbing it in her face. That would look like you’re trying to get a reaction out of her.
Ask her if she has some hot friends she can introduce you to.
You can even go talk to other women while she’s with you. “Wow…look at those women. Just a minute, I’ll be right back”.
Think about it. This is totally normal behavior that you would do with a normal friend.
Now, of course, this assumes you know how to approach and talk to women.
If you don’t, don’t worry. I’ve got your back.
You can get access to a special free training that will teach you exactly how to approach and talk to women.
You can access it here right now.
4. Use Attraction Creators
Tease Her. Make Fun Of Her. The Reaction You’re Looking For Is That She Laughs And Simultaneously Hits You On Your Arm.
In addition to treating her as a friend, you should also use attraction creators.
Attraction creators are things you can do that create attraction.
Here are some examples.
Tease her. Make fun of her. The reaction you’re looking for is that she laughs and simultaneously hits you on your arm.
Also, make sure to ask her challenging questions about her character and then either approve or disapprove of her answers.
Disagree with her. When she has an opinion about something and you have a different opinion, tell her you disagree and tell her why she’s wrong. If she likes the movie ‘Titanic’, don’t be afraid to tell her it’s lame.
When you interact with her on this level, you separate yourself from the interactions she has with her aunt or her gay best friend.
5. Be An In-Demand, Sexual Man
Start Dating Other Women. Don't Be Afraid To Tell Her About It. Let Her Know You Are An In-Demand, Sexual Man. She'll Start Seeing You As "Sexy" Instead Of Just "Friendly".
This is the most important step of all.
Start dating other women. It will help you in so many ways.
First off, it gives you some things to talk about. Remember in point 3, I told you to tell her about dates you go on. In order be able to do that, you’ll actually need to go on dates.
Second, when you start seeing other women, you’ll naturally be less available.
Third, and most important, when you date other women, it will distract your mind. You’ll have fun in the process, all while she will grow more attracted to you.
If you don’t see other women, you can still use all the other steps, but they will be more difficult.
This is because you will see her as your only option. Your desire for her will still be strong.
This can make you needy and insecure. All this will make it harder for you to execute the necessary steps to get out of the friendzone.
So, you definitely want to go on dates with other women.
Now, of course, that requires you to know how to get dates fast. If you already know how to do that, great.
If you don’t know how to get dates quickly, then check out this FREE training today:
It’s called the Five REAL Secrets To Becoming A Badass With Women, and it’s the quickest, easiest way to get dates.
It’s designed specifically for introverted men.
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If you want dates in droves fast without working like a dog, then this is for you.
6. Ignore Her Attempts To Gain Her Power Back
She’ll Try All Sorts Of Things To Regain Her Power Over You. Wearing More Sexy Clothes, Dropping Something And Bending Over To Pick It Up. Basically Anything That Will Make You Check Her Out And Think Of Her In A Sexual Way.
By doing steps 1 through 5, you showed her that you’ve moved out of that zone where she thinks she can have you every time she wants to.
And on top of that, she sees that you treat her as just a friend and are interested in other women.
She’ll feel she’s losing something, and she’ll start to work harder for your attention.
She’ll try to regain her power over you.
When this happens, it’s critical you are prepared for it and that you don’t give in to it.
The first thing you need is the ability to spot the behavior that indicates she’s doing that.
Here are some things she might do:
She might start wearing more sexy clothes.
She might drop something and bend over to pick it up. Yes, I know this is cliché… but believe me, women REALLY do this kind of stuff!
She might ask you if her clothes are revealing too much or if her butt looks too big in her dress – basically anything that will make you check her out and think of her in a sexual way.
She might even try to make you jealous by talking about other guys or dates that she’s been on, etc.
Whatever you do, don’t rise to it. Instead IGNORE it. But you want to be aware of when she does these things.
7. Reverse Roles
Reverse The Roles And Make Her Chase You By Using The Contradicting Escalation Method.
Now that she has lost her power over you and she’s working harder to see you, it’s time to completely reverse the roles. You want her to be the one to escalate the relationship.
The way you do it is by using what I call “Contradicting Escalation”.
It means that you’ll escalate the relationship physically, but you’ll be verbally objecting to it while doing it. In other words, your words will contradict your actions.
Here’s what you do.
After a certain amount of time, you create a situation where both of you are together, one-on-one.
Ideally, you’ll both have had some wine.
WARNING: The idea is NOT to make her drunk and abuse her.
But a bit of alcohol is good to loosen up the atmosphere.
So you’re having a nice time together and had some wine, and at a certain point you’ll escalate physically, but in a PLAYFUL way.
You might say something like “Oh, look at you…you’re so cute” and kiss her on the cheek.
The point is that you’ll do things that are slightly sexual. The kind of things that couples do, but you’re going to do it in a more unnoticed way.
You’ll do things like teasing her, play-fighting, poking, prodding, tickling, etc.
Playfighting Is Great To Escalate In A Stealthy Way
At a certain point, there will be this moment where both of you look in each other’s eyes, and there will be sexual tension in that moment.
That’s when you give her a quick kiss on the lips, and immediately say something along the lines of “We shouldn’t be doing this…this is bad…we’ve been friends for so long…this is wrong…why are we doing this…” and then you kiss her again, and you say this: “We really shouldn’t be doing this…”.
And you keep moving forward and keep saying it’s wrong.
By being the one that objects to it first, she won’t object to it. Instead, she’ll start explaining to you why it’s not as wrong as you might think.
In other words, you’ve reversed the roles. She’s now the one justifying why it’s okay to have a romantic relationship.
You can continue to use this strategy to go from kissing to full physical intimacy.
And if you want to take it even further and make her your girlfriend, you keep using this approach.
But don’t make the mistake of thinking that because you had sex together, it’s now a done deal.
Don’t ask her to become your girlfriend. Don’t be the one who brings up the determining-the-relationship conversation.
That would reverse you back in your old role, and it would likely not work.
Instead, keep using the Contradicting Escalation method.
Just keep doing more and more of the things that couples do, but keep objecting to it yourself.
Do things like spending Sundays together, meeting her friends, meeting her parents, meeting your parents, etc.
Keep saying “We really shouldn’t be doing this. We said we were just friends…why are we doing this?”
And that, my friend, is how you get back out of the friendzone!
Conclusion
Being in the friend zone can be a scary place for most introverted men, and it can feel like you’re never going to get out of it.A common reason why men land in the friendzone is because they confess their feelings too soon – before creating that powerful feeling of attraction.
Remember this: If she doesn’t feel attracted to you, confessing your feelings will backfire.
The easiest way to get out of the friendzone is to use the seven field-proven hacks in this article.
Their purpose is to get you back out of the friendzone AFTER you’ve landed there.
However, it’s even better and easier to completely AVOID the friendzone in the first place.
If you would like to learn how to do that, then you’ll want to get this FREE bonus package.
It’s five simple, road-tested questions you need to ask a woman to ensure that you’ll never be friendzoned again. It’s as simple as that. Ask her these "five" questions, and you’re safe.
It’s called “The Proactive Friendzone Avoider”.
Inside The Proactive Friendzone Avoider, you’ll get:
• The 5 MAGICAL questions that will put you in the “sex-zone” instead of the friendzone – even if you’ve never been considered a sexual option before (just ask her these five simple, proven questions and you’re in sexy-land).
• The exact details of what to ask, how to ask it, and when to ask it for guaranteed results.
• Step-by-step instructions on how to prepare for your next interaction, so you’ll instantly be the guy she wants to be physically close with.
Did I forget something? What are your suggestions to escape from the friendzone? Share your experience in the comment section below.
