8 Ridiculous Things PUA Gurus Say That You Should Never Do

How To Turbo-Charge Your Dating Life Through Female Friends

By the worlds #1 dating coach for Introverted Men - Nick Neeson.

If you are not enjoying success in dating and attracting women, then this question has certainly crossed your mind:

How do attractive, high-quality women decide if you’re worth a second look… or if you’re just another ‘nah’ wimp that will waste their time?

That’s a fantastic question. I have good news and bad news.

The bad news is… once a quality women chooses to pass on you, it’s very difficult to reverse the situation. Mostly, there are no second chances.

There is one exception. That’s if you land in the friendzone. If that’s the case, it’s really easy to get back out of it. Just check out my other post “7 reliable hacks to get you out of the friendzone”.

But if you went on a date with her and she’s not interested in you and you’re not in the friendzone, it’s game over.

Once a quality women chooses to pass on you, it’s very difficult to reverse the situation. Mostly, there are no second chances.

Now that we’ve gotten that out of the way, here’s the good news.

If you can make a quality women think to herself, even if it’s just for a second, ‘Hmmm… this guy seems interesting, there might be something worth exploring’, than you’ve just achieved more than 99% of the men she meets will ever achieve.

That means that from the very first moment of meeting a woman, you need to display some attractive qualities to her—qualities that will position you as a potential Mr. Right and help you avoid the lethal mistakes that most men make and can never recover from.

The most important thing to realize is that this has nothing to do with acting cool, being tall, being handsome, or having a million dollars in your bank account.

It’s about displaying some universally attractive qualities that will get her attention right off the bat before she even realizes it.

So without further ado, here they are:

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1. Leadership

Women evolved to have a built-in attraction switch that gets triggered when they see leadership in men

Women love men that take the lead. Why? Because it has been built into them through more than two million years of evolution.

If a woman mated with the leader of the tribe, her chances of survival and the chances of survival for her offspring would be much higher.

Therefore, women evolved to have a built-in attraction switch that gets triggered when they see leadership in men.

Does it mean you need to be a big-shot manager or the President of the United States? Luckily, no. But you need to show some leadership qualities when you are in her presence.

Here are some things you can do to lead more often.

Go to places you know and/or where you know people.

That way you can show her around. ‘Hey, let’s go there, it’s great there.’ Or ‘Let’s walk that way, that’s a shortcut.’

Have a plan.

If you go to places that you don’t know, at least have a plan of what you want to do so you can take the lead and suggest things. That brings me to my next point…

Make suggestions.

Focus on suggesting things instead of asking her what she wants.

Let’s say, for example, that you take her to the movies. Instead of asking her what movie she wants to see, suggest one. ‘Hey, that new movie with Tom Cruise looks great. Maybe we should see that one.’

If she says she doesn’t like that movie, no problem—just suggest another one. ‘Okay, no problem. The one with Tom Hanks also looks good, so let’s see that one.’

Be decisive.

Make sure to make decisions quickly. Now, I’m not talking about big life decisions, like changing your career or things like that.

I’m talking about stuff like deciding what you want to eat pretty quickly when you sit down at a restaurant.

Women love men that know what they want and that are decisive.

Let her see you in positions of authority.

If you are a bit like the leader within your circle of friends, it’s great for her to see you in that situation.

Or if you are a teacher or manager, it’s good for her to see you in this environment.

2. Mental Strength

Don’t be a yes-man. Have strong opinions. Stand behind them.

Most men turn into wimps in the presence of a beautiful woman.

Let’s say you are in a conversation with a woman, and everything is going well. In the midst your conversation, you say something about what you believe about the current political landscape, and she disagrees with you.

The wrong thing to do (and what most men do) is to say… ‘Oh, yes, actually, yes, you’re right, I never thought about it like that’.

Don’t be a yes-man. Have strong opinions. Stand behind them. Deconstruct her argument and show her she’s wrong.

Now, I don’t mean you have to be some stubborn dickhead, but you shouldn’t change your opinions too quickly to match hers. She’ll see it as a sign of weakness.

Another way to show her you are a strong man is to clearly and assertively communicate your boundaries.

Let’s say, for example, that you are out to dinner with her, and she’s looking at her phone all the time. Let her know she’s crossing your boundary. You could say:

‘Listen, Jade, I’ve turned my phone off because we’re having dinner together. Now, if you have some urgent business you have to take care of, I understand that, and you can tell me that. But if you are the kind of person that is more preoccupied with her phone than with the people she’s having dinner with, I just want you to know I don’t think that’s cool.’

3. Drive and Passion

Game and dating techniques will only get you as far as the first date. If you have a dull life, if you lack passion, if you lack drive, she’ll pick up on it quickly.

If she asks you about your job and you say dully, ‘Yeah, it’s boring, I don’t really like it…’ or if she asks you about sports and you say ‘The gym, well, yes, I go sometimes, but I don’t go often, I’m a bit lazy…’

She’s not going to be attracted to you. Especially not quality women. They have passions, and they have a life. They are looking for a guy with drive and passion.

So when you talk, make sure you talk with passion.

If you don’t like your job, that’s fine. No problem at all. Just talk about your hobby or what you want your new job to be, or some project you’re working on. It doesn’t matter.

‘I’m working on this great project, and we are doing this and that and the other,’ said with drive and passion.

If you don’t have any passions to talk about, then make sure you find some. This will improve your life.

You see, you can’t fake it with a quality woman.

Game and dating techniques will only get you as far as the first date. If you have a dull life, if you lack passion, if you lack drive, she’ll pick up on it quickly.

And if you lack drive, then I suggest you start watching some Anthony Robbins products so you’ll get the drive you need.

You can also quickly solve that by finding your mission in life.

There are plenty of exercises you can find online that will help you with that. Once you find your mission, you’ll be on fire!

4. Being Busy

Always tell her two dates that don’t work before you tell her what does work. This INSTANTLY increases your value and your attractiveness.

If a woman asks you when you are available and you tell her, ‘Well, I’m free this evening, tomorrow morning, whenever you want’, you’re not going to get much success.

Because it signals her that you don’t have much going on in your life.

Quality women want a man that has a life. Therefore, you always need to present yourself as someone who is busy. It should be like you are trying to fit her into your already full agenda.

For example: ‘Well, this evening I have something planned. Tomorrow night I’m having a late evening meeting with a customer. Wednesday I’m going to a concert. This weekend is pretty full…I think I could do Thursday evening or Saturday at 2 p.m., but then I’ll have to go at 3:30.’

You see how you are instantly positioned as more attractive?

Not only does it show that you have a life, it also makes you more scarce. And we value things that are scarce much more. It’s a cognitive bias.

Now, of course, if you don’t have such a full life, don’t lie about it. You don’t have to lay it out like I did in the example. Just tell her two days that don’t work for you, and give her one or two dates that do work.

Here’s a tip: always tell her two dates that don’t work before you tell her what does work.

And if you really have nothing going on, then you need to start doing something with your life.

Find things to do. Go to classes, go to the gym, join some club, etc. Become curious about life.

Again, you don’t need to be a super-busy, high-powered manager, but you need to have some activities going on in your life.

5. Intelligence and Wisdom

If you are older than her,show her some wisdom. If you are the same age, show her some intelligence.

Women want to date men that are at least as intelligent as they are, and preferably more. Most women don’t want to date someone that is less intelligent than they are.

When you’re on a date with her, or at some point in your interaction, you’ll want to show her some intelligence and wisdom.

If you are older than her, it’s going to be in the form of wisdom. If you are the same age, show her some intelligence.

This can be done in multiple ways.

First, it could be that she starts talking about a subject that you know a lot about. If that’s the case, bingo! You can just tell her stuff she didn’t know.

Second, if those subjects don’t arise naturally during the conversation, you could steer the conversation toward those topics.

How? Just ask her a question about the topic you want to talk about, and voila! You are now talking about that topic.

For example, you could ask her, ‘Do you read any books?’ and then after she answers you can talk about the interesting book you’re reading.

As an introverted man, this should come easily to you. Most introverts process things at much deeper levels. Therefore, they often have a deeper understanding of things.

Use that deep knowledge to show her your intelligence and wisdom. Be careful not to come across as a know-it-all.

6. Non-Reactiveness

Women will test you to see if you are the real deal. They are looking for an emotional reaction. If you stay unreactive, you’ll pass the test and they will feel a surge of attraction for you.

When you show her the five qualities listed above, women will really become attracted to you and interested in you. Once they do, they’ll want to test you to see if you are the real deal.

They might say some mean things to you. Things like:

• Why don’t you cut your hair differently?

• I don’t like your shirt.

• Your jeans look weird.

• Your car sucks.

• I don’t date guys with black hair.

• I only date guys with blue eyes.

The list goes on and on.

I call them ‘shit tests’, and they are a GOOD thing.

When women test you like this, it means they are interested in you. Otherwise, they wouldn’t do that.

Why?

Well, women have been fooled so many times by guys who pretended to have these universal traits. Therefore, they need a way to find out if you are the real deal.

women-test-men-to-find-out-if-they-are-really-confident

women-test-men-to-find-out-if-they-are-really-confident

Here’s a great thing to say to almost any test she might throw in your direction:

‘Glad you like it’.

Her: ‘Why don’t you cut your hair differently?’

You: ‘Glad you like it.’

Her: ‘Your jeans look weird.’

You: ‘Glad you like it.’

I think you get the picture. Now, of course, don’t use ‘Glad you like it’ two times in a row, like I did in the example.

That was just to show you that you can use it for almost any test. That doesn’t mean you should use it multiple times with the same woman.

Here’s something even better to do. When she tests you, recognize it as a sign of attraction. When you do, you’ll easily pass the test.

I just look at them and automatically have that little smile of recognition on my face. I think it’s amusing to see it happen. I think it’s cute when women do it. It’s a compliment.

Now, these were some easy tests. They are easy because they are quite recognizable. And usually, women will use them in the early stages of the dating process.

However, don’t think that if you’ve passed one test, you’re home free. You’re not. Women will test you at different times, and in order to pass all those tests automatically, you’ll need the last trait.

I’ve saved this trait for last, because it’s probably the number-one thing women want in a man.

Introducing…

7. Core Confidence

Confidence is situational. Core confidence or self-esteem is not.

Confidence is so important, for several reasons. But the most important one is that confidence is tremendously associated with status.

Status is a deep-rooted attraction trigger within women, and there are good evolutionary reasons for that.

Also, confidence is what you need so that her tests won’t affect you.

If you are really confident in yourself, then you won’t care about any insult or test she throws in your direction.

Also, notice that the title of this heading is not confidence, but core confidence.

Confidence typically comes through competence. That means confidence is situational. If you are competent at something, you’ll be confident in that area.

For example, a DJ can feel very confident when he’s doing his thing in a club. But get him out of his habitat and put him in a debate between scientists on television, and he will probably feel insecure.

That’s because his competence lies somewhere else.

We can also turn this example around. A scientist might be very confident in debates about science, but put him in a nightclub and he might not be so confident anymore.

So, as you can see, confidence is situational.

A man can be confident in one situation but insecure in another situation.

That’s also why the quickest way to become confident with women and dating is to learn dating skills. Dating and becoming good with women is just a skill, like any other skill. That means you can learn it, too.

By learning dating skills, you’ll quickly boost your situational confidence with women. That’s a great quick win.

But if you want to get high-quality women and keep them, you’ll need more than that.

You’ll need core confidence. Core confidence is another word for self-esteem. It’s not situational. It’s how you see yourself. It’s your self-image.

A man with core confidence loves himself. He accepts himself how he is. He has a healthy, high sense of self-esteem.

That’s what a quality woman looks for. And that’s what you need in order to keep her for the long run.

Imagine this: A quality woman meets you. You are looking very confident, because you are in your area of expertise.

Maybe you are a consultant and she met you at a workshop you are running, and she’s attracted to you because you look so confident in your habitat.

Then she goes on a date with you, and let’s say that goes great, too. You have your dating skills down and some experience, so you feel confident.

She likes it and both of you become intimate and start doing more and more things together.

You start meeting her friends and her parents, and you go to different places together—situations that you are not competent in, and suddenly she starts to see that you’re not the confident guy she thought you were.

What happens next? She loses her attraction for you, and at some point she dumps you!

That’s why you need to not just build competence and confidence, but you’ll also need to build core confidence or self-esteem.

Conclusion:

Quality women look for certain traits in a man. They even have a name for men that have these traits: they call him Mr. Right.

These traits are universal. Women from all nationalities and cultures find them attractive.

In this article, I’ve laid out the seven universal attractive traits that quality women look for in a man.

Despite popular beliefs, the most attractive of all those qualities is not confidence, but CORE confidence or self-esteem.

Confidence is situational and competence-based, while self-esteem or core confidence is not situational, but rather based on your identity – your self-image.

Quality women will keep testing to find out if that initial confidence you showed is true core confidence or just situational. If it’s just situational, you’ll get dumped.

That’s why, above all, you need to focus on building core confidence. After a while, you will suddenly, magically be able to do something that VERY few men can do:

Be the kind of man that quality women find irresistible. The kind of man they consider a “catch”. The kind of man that gives them that rare feeling of ‘I need to have him’.

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What qualities do you find to be attractive to women? Share your experience in the comment section below.