10 Ways Carefreeness Improves Your Dating

How We Get Our Clients Dates Within 3 Weeks

By the worlds #1 dating coach for Introverted Men - Nick Neeson.

News flash! The biggest mistakes that introverts make when texting women are actually pretty small things.

But the problem is that they add up quickly to kill chemistry and ruin your chances with any and every woman.

Every single time. Again and again.

So if you’ve ever totally lost a woman after a texting interaction, then this blog post was created especially for you.

Now, most texting advice out there is all about how to create that perfect text. There will be a lot of psychology on what words to use, how you should qualify her, etc.

That’s all fine. But there are some small little things that can ruin even the best text message. These small things are what I call “digital body language”.

In this blog post, I’m going to show you seven timeless texting principles that are all about digital body language. But before we do that, let’s go into…

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4 Texts To Date. How To Go From First Text To First Date In Just 4 Messages.

The Importance Of Texting In Dating.

The Importance Of Texting In Dating

Texting is really important these days. If you don’t know how to text, your love life is going to suck. We live in a world where texting has become the norm.

Not texting these days is considered weird. If you were to just call a woman that you just met, she won’t like it.

The exception, of course, is if she tells you that she hates texting and she prefers that you call her.

But aside from that, if you call women, especially in the early stages of dating, it’s considered weird.

If you call women in the early stages of dating, it’s considered weird.

The second reason you want to be good at texting is because texting is more convenient, both for you and for her. If we didn’t have texting, we would have to call women.

And here’s what usually happens when you do that: you call her and you don’t get an answer. You call her again, and you still don’t get an answer. Then you might think, “Maybe she doesn’t know it’s me.”

So you call her again and leave her a voicemail. But look at it from the woman’s perspective: she’s thinking, “Man, there’s this guy again. He’s calling me over and over and he’s leaving me these awkward messages!”

Calling women increases the risk of appearing needy.

Texting solves that problem. Another problem texting can solve is that you might call her at an inconvenient time.

Maybe you call, she answers the phone, and she’s in a rush. And so she cuts you off because she has stuff to do. That’s not good, because you are being perceived as the lower-status person in this situation.

You don’t want to be the lower-status person.

Women are attracted to men that they perceive as being higher status than them, not lower status.

Texting makes it easier for you to keep your perceived status and attractiveness.

Or, she might be in a bad mood. And when you call her, that bad mood transfers into the conversation and ruins your interaction.

The funny thing is, she’ll blame you for it. In her mind, it’s your fault the conversation was not good. Even though it was her bad mood that ruined it.

I know, I make calling women sound like a horrible thing to do, but it really is a horrible thing to do in the BEGINNING stages of dating.

Of course, when you’re in a relationship, that’s different.

You can call a woman and she might be busy and say, “Hey, listen, honey, I don’t have the time right now,” and that’s OK.

She’s already invested in you. She already knows you. She already knows your value.

Texting avoids that bad moods ruin your chances with women.

So when that happens, that’s not a problem. And if you call her when you’re already in a relationship with her and she’s in a bad mood, that’s fine too.

You will have so many good memories together that one bad conversation is not going to make a difference. But in the early stages of dating when she doesn’t know you yet, it does make a difference.

You don’t have all those good memories together yet. Therefore, a single conversation with a bad vibe is enough to ruin your chances of dating her.

So texting is really important because it solves all those issues for you. When you text her, it doesn’t matter if she’s in a rush. It doesn’t matter if she’s in a good mood or a bad mood.

She will just read your text message and answer it when it’s convenient for HER.

And you will get to read her text when it’s appropriate for YOU. You get to respond when it’s appropriate for YOU, which makes dating and your life in general much easier.

The third reason texting is so important is because “texting time equals thinking time”. What do I mean by that? When you’re texting a woman, you buy yourself time to think about how to respond.

Texting time equals thinking time.

So if she sends you a text message and you don’t know how to respond immediately, you can just take your time to think and come up with a good answer.

When you’re on the phone or seeing her in person, you have to be thinking on your feet. Texting buys you time and allows you to come up with better answers.

The fourth reason texting is so important is because it teaches you the patterns of flirting. It teaches you how to behave with women, and it teaches it quickly.

You can go back and look at your text messages and see the texting interactions that you had with that particular woman. You can see how one thing led to another.

If something went sour, you can trace it all back to the first text where it started to go sour. It’s usually not going to be some black-and-white thing where you sent one text and ruined it, though that can happen.

Usually, it’s going to be some small thing that happened that gave her a bad feeling, and she started to suddenly respond in different ways.

Then you started to react to that because you felt that things were off, and you dig your hole deeper and deeper.

Texting allows you to easily trace back how and where it went wrong and also how and where it went well. This lets you learn much more quickly and internalize those skill sets so you’re better in real life.

Texting teaches you the patterns of flirting faster.

Also, texting is a great way to keep in touch between dates.

Now, just because you have had a first date doesn’t mean that you’re at the finish line. You will need multiple dates. You will become sexually intimate with her.

Then, you might even want her to become your girlfriend.

To get to that stage, you’ll need multiple dates. Between those dates, it’s important to keep in touch with her.

If you call her every time you want to stay in touch with her, all those problems we talked about earlier would come up.

Therefore there would be many more possible failure points in the dating process.

Texting solves that issue, and it’s a great thing. The last reason texting is great is because it allows you to stay on her mind. Sometimes, stuff is going to happen where you won’t be able to see her.

Maybe you meet her, get her number. Then you want to go on a date with her, but she leaves for a holiday for three weeks. Or maybe she has to go to another country for her job for a month.

So how do you stay on her mind all the time so that when she gets back into the country, she’s still eager to go on a date with you? Texting of course. That’s literally the best way to do it.

Now that we know why texting is so important, let’s look at some texting strategies to use.

The Two Types Of Texters.

Here’s what your competition is doing. Most guys fall into one or two categories of texters.

Type A: The Boring Texter.

The first type is the guy that sends her boring texts.

The first type is the guy that sends her boring texts.

Like:

Attraction Killing Text Nr 1

Or:

Attraction Killing Text Nr 2

Even worse:

Attraction Killing Text Nr 3

The worst of all:

Attraction Killing Text Nr 4

If you look at these texts, they’re really boring and unoriginal. Every guy on the planet is sending her these text messages.

Women are fed up with it because it shows that you’re lacking imagination. You’re not really putting in effort to be even a little bit original.

It also puts the burden of the conversation on her.

If you send her a message like, “Hey, what’s up?” or “How are you doing?” you expect her to come up with a great story to make that texting interaction interesting.

That’s not a gentlemanly thing to do.

Don’t worry, I’m going to show you another way to do it.

Type B: The False Cool Texter

The second type of texter is what I call the “false cool texter”.

He’s sending those wannabe cool texts. Usually that’s because he bought some dating product on how to text women.

Here are some texts that those WANNABE cool guys send.

Here's another one.

If you look at these texts, you can definitely see that that’s a guy that had some training in how to text women. But, still, these texts don’t work.

The reason they don’t work is not necessarily because of the content of what the guy is saying. It’s something else.

I’ll tell you more about what exactly is wrong with these examples later in this blog post.

But for now, I would like you to take a pen and paper and jot down what you think is wrong with these messages.

That will prepare you for later when I explain what’s wrong with them.

Action Item.

Your implementation assignment is to take a piece of paper. Look at the two texts again and write down what you think is wrong.

Only then should you continue reading to find the answer.

Did you do the exercise? No? Well, then go do the exercise

.

If you did do the exercise, well, you’re probably waiting for the answer.

So here it is.

What’s wrong with these texts is their digital body language.

What Is Digital Body Language? Can It Really Make or Break Your Success With Women?

Digital body language is an invisible attraction killer or builder, depending on how you use it.

Yes, it can!

Digital body language is the equivalent of normal body language, but online.

Digital body language is an invisible attraction killer or builder, depending on how you use it.

You’ve probably read somewhere that 93 percent of our communication is non-verbal, and only seven percent of our communication is verbal.

What that means is when you interact with a woman offline, it’s not so much what you say, but how you say it.

If your body language is off, if your voice intonation is wrong, it’s going to ruin your interactions with women.

That’s because they listen more to how you say things rather than to the actual words that you use.

The reason for that is simple. Before we developed speech as a communication tool, we already talked to each other. But we did it through body language.

Body language and non-verbal cues are a way of communicating with each other that we’ve been doing for much longer than verbal communication.

It’s also a much more honest way of communicating. You can fake your words. But you really cannot fake your body language.

Yes, you can stand in a certain way and manage bigger movements of your body language. But you can’t micro manage all your facial expressions or your tone of voice.

That’s a reflection of how you feel. So, if you feel insecure, it shows in your body language. Women notice that really quickly.

So just as body language is an invisible killer of attraction offline, digital body language is an invisible killer of attraction online.

Even the best text message content-wise will be ruined if you use the wrong digital body language. The other way around is also true.

You can take a mediocre text message, even a bad text message content-wise, and you can make it great just by adding the right digital body language.

Now again, everybody focuses on what to say in messages. And that’s your big opportunity. Let your competition do it the wrong way. We’ll do it the right way.

This post is dramatically different because I’ll show you what digital body language is about, so you can make your text messages weapons of attraction.

So without further ado, let’s dive into the eight timeless texting principles that are all about digital body language.

1. Go easy on the exclamation points.

According to Match.com, for every one exclamation mark that you use, you get 10 percent less response.

For every two exclamation marks you use in a message that you send to women, you get 25 percent less response.

That’s huge. Just one little exclamation point and it drops 10 percent. Two and it drops 25 percent.

Women don’t like that because exclamation points make you look weak and needy.

Just imagine if in real life, there’s a guy who’s trying to make a point and he’s raising his voice and screaming. That’s low-status behavior.

A real high-status and self-confident man makes his point calmly and firmly without raising his voice.

Now, let me ask you. Who do you think women are attracted to? The guy that screams to make a point, or the guy who is calm, cool, and collected?

Of course, they are attracted to the second type of guy.

2. Go easy on the LOLs, smileys and winks.

Again, when you use LOLs, smileys and winks, it mostly makes you look weak. It makes you look like a clown. You don’t want that.

There are two exceptions to this.

Number one. You want to use a wink in your message if your message would offend her without the wink.

Number two. If she is using a lot of LOLs and smileys, then it’s OK to mirror her texts. I will talk more about that in one of the following principles.

But for now, you have to understand that you should go easy on the LOLs, smileys and winks. Here’s an example of a text message where it’s OK to use a wink.

If you read that text message without the wink, it’s kind of dominant and could be interpreted as offensive by some women.

But if you read it with the wink added to it, it’s OK.

In this case, it’s OK to use a wink because you used it just to make sure you didn’t offend.

3. Use the smirk.

The smirk is an emoji that I can’t recommend enough to use. Most guys don’t use the smirk, and it’s one of the most attractive things you can do.

Instead, they use smileys and winks, which make them look weak.

You want to use a smirk in your text message because it’s very attractive. It gives off that bad-boy vibe. It makes you stand out because almost nobody is using it.

Below is an example of the same message with and without a smirk. As you can see, the version with the smirk is much more attractive.

Let’s look at a case study of how to turn bad texts into good texts using digital body language.

Let’s take the two texts that I used in the beginning. As you can see, the digital body language in that first text is really bad.

There are a lot of exclamation points. There is a “LOL” in it. There is a smiley. The other one is the same.

Now, see how it looks when we remove the exclamation points, the smileys, and the LOLs and replace it with a smirk.

As you can see, the makeover to the text made this bad text more attractive.

Even though I’m NOT A FAN of the content of the text itself, the digital body language really makes a difference.

By the way, this is some text that I found online. I think it’s from another dating coach. I don’t remember his name.

I’m not really a fan of the content of the text message.

But again, it’s just to show you how you can make even a bad text message look good by just changing the digital body language.

4. Go easy on the question marks.

Just like exclamation points, using too many question marks is also a bad thing to do. Again, that is because it makes you look weak.

It makes you look needy and sometimes even desperate.

If you look at how women text, you will see that many times they ask you a question and put a period at the end instead of a question mark.

That’s because women unconsciously know how needy question marks look.

5. Mistakes and sloppiness are actually great in texts.

Most introverted guys write texts that look like an “official” email. They’re way too “precise” in their language.

They use perfect capitalization. They use perfect punctuation. They use perfect grammar.

But in texting that’s actually a turnoff for women.

Now, I do have to make a side note here. It’s different if you’re messaging women on dating sites.

There you need to be perfect in your grammar, your spelling, your punctuation and all that stuff.

But when you’re texting women, it’s different. Then you need to do the opposite.

If you have some spelling mistakes or some typos or you didn’t use proper capitalization, that’s actually a good thing. It makes you look busy.

It also looks like you didn’t give it much thought.

Plus, it makes you look a little bit indifferent, which is great. And it’s acceptable because it’s a text message.

Now, of course, don’t overdo. Don’t write text messages full of mistakes. But just make sure that it’s not super neat and perfect.

Also don't make a mistake in every single message that you send. Again, don't overdo it.

6. Mirror her texts.

Every woman has a certain style of writing. You want to mirror that style.

So, if she uses a lot of “LOLs” and emoji at first, then you can also use an LOL or an emoji. But don’t overdo it.

Second, you want to wait as long as she does to reply.

If you send a text to a woman and she takes three hours to reply, you don’t want to reply immediately. That makes you look needy and lower-status.

Again, women don’t want lower-status men. They want men that are a higher status than them. So, take at least as long as she does to reply to her text.

But don’t make her wait every single time. Sometimes, you mix it up by replying more quickly because that will make it look more natural.

You don’t want it to look like you’re using a tactic. You want it to look real.

As a rule, mimic her response time 90% of the time. Wait as long as she does or even longer. And 10% of the time you might answer faster.

Also, don’t make the mistake of using your 10% in the early stages. In the early stages, make sure you always wait as long as she does or longer.

But once you see she’s really into you, then you can mix it up.

When you do this right she’ll think: “Oh, he replied instantly. He must have had some time right now. I’m lucky this time!”

You also want to mimic how long her text messages are. Make yours as short as hers. Preferably shorter even.

Again, the reason that works is because when your text messages are shorter than hers, it shows that she’s putting in more effort than you are.

It makes you look higher status. It makes you look carefree and indifferent. It makes her chase you more because she’s putting in more effort than you.

I cannot stress enough how important that is. Most guys make that mistake, especially when they’re learning about texting.

The woman will send one- or three-word texts and the guys will make a text message that’s super funny and that has all these dating principles in it.

But the problem is, that text will be six or seven sentences long.

Even though there’s attractive stuff in there, she won’t see it. She’ll just see that you’re putting in a lot of effort. Your digital body language gives you away.

It ruins your chances. That’s what I meant in the beginning of this post when I said it’s not about “what” you write it’s about “how” you write.

Your digital body language is much more important than your actual words.

7. Make sure you end text conversations first.

This is really the bomb. Most guys keep texting her, and she will be the one to end the conversation. You don’t want to be that guy.

You want to be the guy who ends it first. That makes you different. Being different makes you scarce. We all want things that are scarce. Women too.

This also makes you the one with the higher status. Always remember, women are attracted to men that they perceive as being higher status.

A great text that you can send a woman to end the conversation is: “I have to go now. I have a visitor.”

Notice what I said here.

I did three things.

First of all, I ended the conversation first. Second, I made the text short. Third, I said I had a visitor.

This has the added benefit of implying that I have a social life, which makes me more attractive. But also, I didn’t specify who that visitor was.

Most men will make the mistake of saying, “Yeah, it’s a friend, and we are going to play video games.”

They put in a lot of effort to show her that it’s not a woman, because they want to comfort her. You don’t want to do that.

You want to do the opposite.

You want to stay vague. If you’re vague, she’ll be thinking: “Who is that visitor? Is it a girl?” She’ll wonder about you.

She’ll invest time thinking about you, and that makes you more and more attractive.

Often when you use that text, women will send you a text back that says: “Yeah, have fun with her ;)” or something like that.

They’ll hint at it. If they do that, resist the urge and don’t reply anymore.

Let her be the last one to have texted and let her mind think about what you’re doing.

You can still initiate the texting the next day. When you do, don’t even mention it. That’s how you become much more attractive in your text messages.

Girls do this unconsciously.

They’ll say: “I have to go. I have to meet somebody,” and they will be vague.

They won’t say, “I’m going with this girlfriend that I’ve known for so long.”

That’s because they know what an effect it has on them, so they try to use that same strategy on guys.

It does work wonders because when guys get that kind of message, they’re also wondering: What is she doing? And with whom is she doing it?

That’s the power of digital body language.

Conclusion

Digital body language is the equivalent of real body language in real interactions.

The only difference is that it’s through texting or online messaging. But it has the same power.

Just as body language is more important than the words you say in real life, digital body language is more important than the words you write.

The best text in the world will not work if you have bad digital body language. The reverse is also true.

Even bad texts become great texts with the right digital body language. So you really want to focus on your digital body language.

If you liked this post, I have something else that you will like as well.

As you know, one of the most difficult parts of texting is setting up the first date. Many men ruin it when they try to do that.

I have something really cool for you.

I’ve got this totally free bonus called Four Texts to Dates and in it, you will discover the exact four texts that I use to convert numbers into dates.

Here’s exactly what you will get in that package:

You can literally copy and paste my four word-for-word texts that work wonders from the first time that you use them, even if you have zero texting experience.

That’s because I’ve taken care of the digital body language in those texts already for you.

If you’re expecting some fancy text, that’s not what it is. They’re not fancy, but they work wonders because of the digital body language.

That’s great, because you can send them to as many women as you want even if a hundred other guys have sent the same text.

They won’t even notice it, because the texts are not so flashy. It’s the digital body language that makes them work.

You also get step-by-step instructions on how to adapt these texts based on her level of receptiveness.

Plus, you’ll learn how to turn ice-cold one-word responses into burning hot “I want to go on a date with you” replies.

So, do yourself a favor.

Download the Four Texts to Dates right now, and make sure to use them so you can set up first dates with almost no hassle and get a really good success rate.

Thanks so much for reading this post, and I will see you soon.