Never listen to what women say they want in a man. Look at who they are sleeping with instead.
Listen. How many times have you heard women say they want a nice guy? A gazillion times? But who are they actually sleeping with? If you can’t
see it, let me tell you loud and clear: they sleep with the bad guy or the good guy with an edge.
Why do women lie about this?
Well, I’m not sure they’re all lying. Granted, some women flat out lie about it. However, I believe that many women just don’t know what they want in a man anymore.
At least not consciously. But unconsciously they still know. And that’s the issue.
To grasp this, you need to understand the Triune Brain. Neuroscientist Paul D. Maclean discovered that humans have three different brains that appeared successively during evolution.
They are: the reptilian brain, the limbic brain, and the neocortex.
The reptilian brain is the oldest of the three brains. It controls the body’s vital functions, and is also the part of the brain preoccupied with territory,
The Triune Brain
(Picture source: bible.ca)
power, and sex. Sexual attraction comes from this part of the brain. It’s the part of the brain that the bad boy triggers.
The limbic or the mid-brain emerged in the first mammals. It’s preoccupied with emotions and building connections. The limbic brain looks for friendships and connections. It’s the part of the brain the nice guy triggers.
The neocortex or the higher brain is responsible for the development of human language, imagination, and abstract thinking. Our values, beliefs, and culture live in the neocortex. In fact, it’s this part of the brain that allowed cultures to develop.
Now here’s the interesting part.
When women say they want a nice guy, they’re talking with their neocortex brains.
Remember culture (common values and beliefs) reside in the neocortex.
And in our culture, we are fed the belief that we need to be nice guys and that women should date nice guys.
Disney movies fed us these beliefs since we were small kids.
Example of Disney teaching us that nice guys get the girl.
(Image Source: Fanpop.com)
Mark Manson describes it beautifully in his article “How Disney Ruined Sex for Everyone,” but Mark isn’t the only one writing about this huge problem.
Emma Overton wrote about it on Askmen and Joanna Hyatt, international speaker on dating, discussed it on the Huffington Post.
Also keep in mind that religion and culture oppress women’s sexuality.
If women would openly admit what they wanted in a man, or if they would openly admit the real number of men they had sex with, there would be social repercussions. Women are easily labeled as sluts, and they have to care about their reputation.
Terri Fisher, psychologist at Ohio State University, did a study with 293 students involving lie detectors.
The study revealed that women indeed DO lie about their sexual pasts.
The study was also published on the New Scientist.
On top of all that, recent cultural programming feeds the feminine imperative.
Women are a big market. Media and movies are empowering women so that they spend more money. The downside of this is that men are cast in more feminine roles.
Victor Pride from Bold & Determined has written a great article about why Western men are becoming what he calls “weaklings.”
But America is not the only country being affected by this.
According to Iben Thranholm of Russia Insider: “Europe’s Men Are Too Feminine and Can’t Defend Their Women from ‘Rapefugees.’”
To put it simply: our culture takes away our masculinity.
Always remember this: Our most primary need as a species is to survive and procreate.
Since our reptilian brain is in charge of that, it’s easy to understand how much power it exerts over us. In fact, if you don’t understand a person’s behavior, ask yourself the following question: How is this behavior increasing his/her chances of having sex?
Once you ask yourself that question, you’ll understand otherwise incomprehensible human behavior.
When women say they want a nice guy, they talk with their neocortex or higher brains.
But when they feel sexual attraction for a man, they’re feeling with their reptilian brains.
That’s why women say they want a nice guy but sleep with the bad guy or the good guy with an edge. Their oldest brain takes over and controls the higher brain. In fact, the higher brain will look to rationalize behavior produced by the reptilian brain.
That means she’ll find all kinds of reasons (excuses) why she behaved like that.
“I was drunk that night. I was in a bad phase of my life.”
Or she’ll start defending the bad guy, saying he has his good sides too and that actually he’s a good guy.
It’s all rationalization after her primary emotions have defined her behavior.
Definition of Rationalization
Chase Amante calls it backwards rationalization.
Does it mean you need to become a bad guy to get women? Not at all!
It just means you need to learn how to speak to her reptilian brain so she feels sexual attraction for you.
In fact, if you are a good guy, you have an advantage because you’re already talking to her mid-brain and her higher brain. If you could just add to that the language of the reptilian brain, you would attract women in droves.
As I just said, women will rationalize (find good reasons) why they are seeing the bad guy—even if culture is against them.
Can you imagine what an effect the good guy would have on a woman if he knew how to trigger her primal brain?
Devastating! In a positive way!
She wouldn’t even have to come up with good reasons as to why she did it because the good guy is already culturally accepted.
So really, you don’t need to be a bad guy to attract women. In fact, women don’t like the bad side of bad boys AT ALL—they only like some of his qualities that trigger their primal brain. The bad side is just something that comes with the package.
If you want to learn how to trigger that primal sexual attraction in a woman, you just need to develop those qualities that speak to her reptilian brain. You can do this without becoming a bad guy.
Let’s have a look at what those qualities are.
Women are addicted to Bad Boys
In her book Addickted, Kristina Grish gives the best description of the bad boy and why this irresistible rogue makes millions of smart, savvy, and perfectly sane women lust after him. It’s probably the best book out there to really understand the bad boy and how he affects women’s deeper needs.
Once we know women’s deeper needs that are met by the bad boy, we can then satisfy those needs WITHOUT resorting to the bad guy characteristics.
In other words, you’ll know how to give her the good stuff without the bad stuff.
Here are some of the character traits of the bad boy.
Bad Guys Are Arrogant
Do women like arrogant men? No, they don’t!
What do they like, then?
Arrogance looks like confidence. And, as you know, confidence is probably the number one quality women look for in men.
What does this mean? It means you need to develop your confidence!
Do you need to be arrogant to be confident? Of course not. You can be a good guy with core confidence without being arrogant.
In fact, arrogance is a sign of insecurity. Arrogance only looks like confidence, but in reality it isn’t.
Scott Berkun describes it well in his article “Arrogance vs. Confidence: What’s the Difference?”
Sadly, there are not many men with REAL confidence. By contrast, the bad guy looks extremely confident compared to all the nice guys out there. Of course women are going to be attracted to that.
But make no mistake my friend.
When a woman meets a man with REAL confidence, she’ll dump the bad guy in the blink of an eye.
The problem is, there are not many good men with real confidence out there.
What else can we learn from the bad boy?
Let’s have a look at three other traits that bad boys typically have.
Bad Boys and the Dark Triad
According to Wikipedia, bad boys are compared to men that have certain personality traits called the dark triad.
Bad Boy Definition Acording To Wikipedia
All three dark triad traits are conceptually distinct although empirical evidence shows them to be overlapping.
They are associated with a callous-manipulative interpersonal style.
Here is the dark triad: narcissism, Machiavellianism, and psychopathy.
You can read the Wikipedia description in the screenshot below.
Dark Triad Definition According To Wikipedia
Does that mean you need to acquire the dark triad to become successful with women? Hell no!
As I said before, we need to know what women’s underlying needs that seem to be met by the dark triad are. Once you understand her real needs, you can than fulfil them in a good instead of bad way.
Let’s have a look at the dark triad, how that translates to bad boy behavior with women, and what needs they satisfy for women.
I’ve made a model for you that will make it easier to understand it.
When reading the model, remember that her overall primary need is to survive and reproduce.
THE GOOD BAD BOY MODEL INFOGRAPHIC
As you can see from this model, you don’t need to become a bad guy at all. You just need to develop good qualities like confidence, self-respect, mission orientation, resourcefulness, assertiveness, perseverance, etc.
If you add these qualities to your good Guy personality, you become the Good Guy with an edge.
Here at team Introverted Badass, we call him “The Good Bad Boy.”
Yes, women prefer the bad boy over the nice guy.
But both the nice guy and the bad boy will bite the dust when confronted with the Good Bad Boy.
That’s because he combines the good qualities from both the good guy and the bad guy without any of their bad sides.
If you want to learn how to become the Good Bad Boy, then you need to get your hands on this special bonus package.