By the worlds #1 dating coach for Introverted Men - Nick Neeson.
Is it possible the introverted guy can get the girl by adding just one element to his interactions with women?
She looked at him with compassion in her eyes and said, "Thank you. I’m so happy you’re in my life. You’re such a good listener and you’re so thoughtful…but I just don’t want to mess up our friendship.'
This is the third time this year that Michael has heard these heart-wrenching words.
Michael is an introvert. He’s very good at listening and being thoughtful, but somehow he never gets the girl.
If you are an introverted man, this story probably resonates on a very deep level.
Because it happens so often to introverted men, many start to think their introversion is a problem.
This belief gets reinforced by reading pick-up advice that tries to convince them to behave like extroverts or to use tricks, manipulation, and lies to get the girl.
But using these techniques doesn’t feel right! So they avoid this part of their life and focus on their career, hobbies, and social life.
If that’s you, be warned! There is a big danger in this.
The longer you wait to handle this part of your life, the more you’ll get used to this lifestyle.
If you don’t get your dating life under control quickly, there’s a big chance you’ll either settle for a woman you’re not attracted to or you’ll stay alone for the rest of your life.
The first step is to realize what your strengths are and embrace them.
The second step is to add just one element to your interactions with women. More on that later.
Here are your three biggest strengths as an introvert:
1. You are mysterious.
Women are naturally attracted to mysterious men. Because you reflect on things before you speak, and because you have a tendency to listen instead of talk, you are naturally mysterious. This is a strength extroverted men can only wish they had.
2. You know how to create deep bonds.
Creating a deep connection with women is probably the most powerful thing you can do. Don’t make the mistake of thinking that your listening skills and connecting skills are the reason you’ve landed in the ‘friend zone’. They’re not. You just need to learn to use them the right way, and I’ll show exactly how to do that in this article.
3. You're a challenge.
Women love to be challenged mentally by intelligent men. Because of your introversion, you usually have a deeper understanding of things than other people. Because of that, you can provide insights and perspectives that she might have never considered.
Right now you might be thinking, ‘Yeah, that’s me, but so far it’s only gotten me a kiss on the cheek and a pat on the shoulder. Women never consider me as a sexual option. How the heck are those qualities helping me, then?’
The answer:
It’s not the presence of your mysteriousness, listening skills, or connecting skills that catapult you into the ‘friend zone’. It’s the absence of something.
This is so important that I’m going to say it again.
Your issue is not the presence of something; it’s the absence of something.It’s not something you do. It’s something you don’t do.
In many cases, you can easily get the girl by adding just one thing to your conversations with women:
Touch.
Yep, that’s it. It’s as simple as that.
You need to learn how to touch a woman. More specifically, you need to learn how to escalate your touch from social to sexual.
When you analyze what dating is in its essence, you’ll find it’s all about two people getting to know each other, and along the way physically escalating the relationship.
There are two parts to this: connecting and escalating.
As an introvert, you are naturally good at connecting with people.
Therefore, the process of getting to know a woman and creating a deep bond with her comes easily to you.
The only missing part is physical escalation. That’s why they don’t consider you as a sexual option.
The good news is that you can just stay true to yourself! There’s no need to be someone you’re not.
How do you use escalating touch?
There are three different touches you need to master in order to escalate to an intimate relationship: social touch, seductive touch, and sexual touch.
Social Touch
This is when you touch a woman in areas that are socially acceptable. Examples: a kiss on the cheek, touching her shoulder, touching her elbow.
Use it when you meet a woman to start off the physical process.
Seductive Touch
Seductive touch is when you touch a woman in more seductive zones. Examples: touching her hand, her hair, her waist, etc.
This is done only after she is comfortable with your social touch.
The goal of seductive touch is to position yourself as a sexual option. This is your solution to NEVER being ‘friend-zoned’ again.
Sexual Touch
This is when you touch her in sexual areas. Example: touching her breasts.
This is usually done later on in the dating process, when you are both at your place or hers.
When going from social to sexual touching, the trick is to use what we call ‘micro-escalation’. That means you start by using social touch and incrementally increase your level of touching.
By doing that, you are much less likely to get rejected. That’s because every escalation will be only a small increase. Only when she’s comfortable with your touch at one level do you go to the next level.
For example: when you first meet for a date, give her a kiss on the cheek to start the physical process. Next, when you cross the street together, you could put your hand on her lower back. Once you are in the venue and talking, you could touch her lower arm when you make a point.
When you feel she’s comfortable with it, you can escalate further. You could touch her hand when you’re emphasizing something. If she seems to like it, you can touch her hair later on.
Of course, this is just an example, and you should always gauge her reaction before you proceed.